These Things Happen

@miniam (9154)

Bern, Switzerland

October 22, 2016 9:03pm CST

I read a post here from @much2say and the answers and got me thinking . These things happen so don't say it can't happen to you. If your marriage was to break up and you knew there was no return,will you try to work things out? beg him to stay? or just accept it with dignity I have prepared myself for the day it will happen, as much as I'd want to, I`ll not beg him to stay.Honest, I`ll not be surprised if l came home one day and find him gone. Yes l do keep my eyes open and see changes since we married so deep down l keep thinking he will one fine day leave.Hope im wrong

16 people like this

16 responses

@LovingMyBabies (85288)

• Valdosta, Georgia

23 Oct 16

I would not beg him to stay. If he wants to leave he knows where the door is... I hope your husband doesn't leave you, why do you think he will?

4 people like this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

23 Oct 16

Same here Jennifer,if he decides to leave, im sure l will help him pack because l cant beg. Why would l think he will leave one day? Because he has really changed since we got married.He is very loving but also very different.Has never made an effort to meet my family(He comes from Spain)the weekly calls to my family before we got married...........he`s not called them a single time since we married,the promise of going to meet my family ASAP is forgotten. It`s me and him and no family ties he cares about.Such things make me realize what l have is not what l thought it was.

4 people like this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

23 Oct 16

@Happy2BeMe Thanks,at the moment, if l close my eyes to all things im not happy about, l have a wonderful husband

1 person likes this

@Happy2BeMe (99380)

• Canada

23 Oct 16

@miniam so sorry to hear that. That would be difficult.

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@Happy2BeMe (99380)

• Canada

23 Oct 16

I would be the same way. I would never beg anybody to stay with me. If they want to leave they clearly don't want to be with me so why beg. I will never lower myself. I may be upset and heartbroken but I would let him go.

4 people like this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

23 Oct 16

I know some people will say if you love him enough then you have to beg,but in my opinion,they might then stay because they are feeling sorry for me,no thank you.

3 people like this

@Happy2BeMe (99380)

• Canada

23 Oct 16

@miniam exactly.

1 person likes this

@rymebristol (1808)

• Philippines

23 Oct 16

First of all, I hope that the both of you can still fix your marriage then accept whatever the conclusion may be.

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@much2say (55901)

• Los Angeles, California

26 Oct 16

@miniam This is what my mom had felt and actually heard about my dad . . . that he had wanted to live in this country, so he married a citizen here.

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

26 Oct 16

@much2say And,did they prove people wrong?

1 person likes this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

23 Oct 16

There are things which are hard to fix, l feel he married me to get permission to live here.

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@LadyDuck (471976)

• Switzerland

23 Oct 16

We live together from 45 years, we worked also together all the time, honestly I would not expect him to go, it would be a surprise. If this should happen, I am not the one who would beg to stay. If something goes wrong, it's better to cut short.

2 people like this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

23 Oct 16

You are lucky Anna,im only 2 years married and honest,l dont feel secure in this marriage at all.

1 person likes this

@LadyDuck (471976)

• Switzerland

23 Oct 16

@miniam I am very sorry. I was lucky for sure, it is not easy to find someone you can trust and with whom you feel safe and happy.

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

23 Oct 16

@LadyDuck I hope as time goes by, l may feel different.

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@PainsOnSlate (21852)

• Canada

24 Oct 16

We married forever, I doubt I would have to make a choice. Both of our parents had long and lovely marriages and mine is going on 50 years, I guess if he needed to leave I would let him go....

2 people like this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

24 Oct 16

Well done,50 years are a long time.Glad to know you are safe.Wish l could say the same but who knows,maybe 20,30,40 years from now l will be saying the same

1 person likes this

@DianneN (247186)

• United States

23 Oct 16

I've been with my husband since I was 19 years old. I don't see us parting ways, ever, but if it should happen, I would not beg. I'm sure he would.

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@DianneN (247186)

• United States

24 Oct 16

@miniam Sometimes it's best to just look at the good, and ignore the rest. I hope you're wrong!

2 people like this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

24 Oct 16

@DianneN True Dianne,l should try to be more trusting.As you say, l too hope im wrong

1 person likes this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

23 Oct 16

Lucky woman, im with my husband 4 years now(married 2),l do ask myself "where was he all my life"? you know when you know this is your dream man? As said l dont think we share the same feeling but l keep hoping it`s my insecurity and im wrong.

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@shaggin (72183)

• United States

24 Oct 16

That sounds very sad the situation you are in. I would ask them to reconsider and get them to see how I feel and try to make it work but if they still choose to walk away I would let them go.

1 person likes this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

24 Oct 16

If l close my eyes to all the negatives,i feel so happy,he`s the man l had been looking for all my life without realizing it. I just do hope im wrong but somehow l know im right.

@much2say (55901)

• Los Angeles, California

26 Oct 16

I wouldn't beg, but I would for sure try to work things out first. Hubby and I had been together since age 18 - and then 15 years later we got married. And now we've been married for almost 15 years. We've always been able to work things through . . . if anything at least be open and talk about the things that bother us right away instead of letting it fester and explode. I really hope your marriage works out fine. Thank you for the mention!

1 person likes this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

26 Oct 16

Im also really hoping it will work out,l work on things every day but you know,when one party wants to leave,there is really nothing you can do to stop them

@hereandthere (45645)

• Philippines

23 Oct 16

i feel that you still love him. if he did left then came back after a long time, will you take him back?

2 people like this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

23 Oct 16

Then l will be no where to be found

@yukimori (10148)

• United States

23 Oct 16

If I saw the signs like you are, I would do everything I could to make sure that the lines of communication were wide open between us. Even if we couldn't get back on the same page we could at least reach an amicable solution and a resolution, even if it wasn't necessarily what one would prefer. All of the rough patches we've gone through have been largely the result of lack of communication, so I really support doing what it takes to make sure both parties in the relationship are on the same page... Even if that means involving a counselor.

2 people like this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

23 Oct 16

You are right,but there are times(most times) l feel he married me to have a chance to move to Switzerland so lm not paying money to any counselor. Im giving myself time and maybe one day l will wake up to a reality that l was wrong all along and he`s here to stay.

Belle Starr (Iz)

@BelleStarr (61102)

• United States

26 Oct 16

I am so sad that you feel this way, why don't you talk to him. Do you still care about him? Or will it be a relief to have him gone?

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Belle Starr (Iz)

@BelleStarr (61102)

• United States

27 Oct 16

@miniam Have you asked him why he doesn't want to meet your family? I would not let that bother me,many men are not really into their wives family and it is not like you are in your 20's is it, why does it matter so much to you. If he loves you and treats you well, let it go and don't let it undermine your relationship. I have been married 48 years and with my man 51 years but I have never felt insecure about our love.

1 person likes this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

27 Oct 16

Care about him? he`s the love of my life.Yes l talk but he insists im wrong and l really hope lam.l will be devastated if/when he leaves but will not beg him to stay,will let him go knowing l had been right all along.Until then l will just enjoy what we have

1 person likes this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

27 Oct 16

@BelleStarr Ok, he doesnt feel comfy meeting my family fine with me,l`d like to meet his family,he`s never offered, l used to push so l could meet my inlaws, l realized he`s really not ready for it and this worry me. He treats me very well,respects me,helps around the house but still there are pieces missing,things we discussed and agreed upon before marriage are now nolonger important or he does not agree with anymore and this makes me think it was all calculated. Well done,48 years marriage,hope one day l will say im 10,20,30 years married with my husband.

1 person likes this

@AbbyGreenhill (45494)

• United States

23 Oct 16

Why do you think he will leave you?

1 person likes this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

23 Oct 16

Maybe my insecurity talking but it`s also because of his behaviour.He treats me very nice,breakfast in bed,help cook my favourite food,help clean and all that but there are some pieces missing

Valerie J. Routhieaux

@just4him (317249)

• Green Bay, Wisconsin

24 Oct 16

I hope you're wrong too. My marriage came to an end after 21 years.

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Valerie J. Routhieaux

@just4him (317249)

• Green Bay, Wisconsin

26 Oct 16

@miniam It was what it was. There were good times and bad. It's over and he's passed. I hope yours will last.

1 person likes this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

26 Oct 16

@just4him Thanks,if he leaves,so be it,yes l will be sad but atleast it will not come as a surprise

1 person likes this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

25 Oct 16

Im sorry it did not work out for you. I have prepared myself mentally so if/when it happens, it will not come as a surprise,if we are together 10 years from now, l will be surprised and accept l was wrong.

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@AkoPinay (11542)

• Philippines

23 Oct 16

Begging is not in my vocabulary too. I hope you are wrong too. But I believe in woman's instinct.

2 people like this

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

23 Oct 16

I too keep hoping im wrong and maybe iam, maybe it`s my insecurity,time will tell.

1 person likes this

@silvermist (19702)

• India

23 Oct 16

@miniam These things happen.And I agree,if the other person has made up his mind,there is no point in begging.

@miniam (9154)

• Bern, Switzerland

23 Oct 16

I feel that even if you beg and they have decided to leave,they might feel sorry for you and stay for now then move on later.So he wants to go,let him decide

@fishtiger58 (29820)

• Momence, Illinois

16 Nov 16

I hope you are wrong. I would not beg mine to stay, but I know in my heart we are forever, thankfully he feels the same way.