Just a little rant, nothing outrageous!
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
United States
November 6, 2016 8:44am CST
My husband's son and his wife have two kids...one is pretty much brand new and the other is a little over 4. Since we live 850 miles away, we have not met the baby and haven't seen the other three in over three years. The wife and I communicate mostly on Facebook's private message system, and that's fine, they have their lives and we have ours.
I don't hear from her for months on end, until it gets to be certain times of the year, like now. A week or so ago she asked me if I saved the 4 year old's Christmas Wish List (through Toys R Us) from last year because she is in the process of updating it. My answer was, "I don't save things like that." Why would I save a list that is a year old and the kid is a year older?
That was the last I heard...I did check the website and so far the list isn't there. She started this last year. The two years prior to that we bought what we wanted to give the boy. Now we have to pick from a long and expensive list. The list can be as long as she likes and the items can be as expensive as she likes, but the budget will buy what the budget calls for.
Funny, no mention of a list of the 3-month-old, but I'm sure that is being worked on too.
We would much prefer just sending a check and letting them do the work...and that's just what we might do. I don't spend time worrying/thinking about this, but it does annoy me.
Any thoughts?
Photo is mine
18 people like this
18 responses
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
6 Nov 16
LOL, I usually get really worked up about this, so I"m being 'cool' this year LOL. I think I'll put a check in the mail this week and let her handle it all.
2 people like this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
6 Nov 16
@CoralLevang This is an unusual case, we are very long distance relatives and treated as such. When I grew up and my grandparents lived in Md and LA, we drove there to visit, we went out of way to visit the...when we moved south I said to all involved, "You are welcome to come visit, but we won't be gong back north."
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
6 Nov 16
@CoralLevang I hear you and can understand completely. What gets me going it last May she said they were flying down before the baby was born and then the next day said she 'forgot' they already had a vacation planned for May in Virginia. Then said they would come down after...well, it's after but since they just bought a new home, now the holidays, there's no time for visiting us.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8786)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb 17
I understand why it annoys you. None of my family really do Christmas lists unless someone asks for them. I find it quite rude. I'd find it particularly rude if someone didn't make any effort the rest of the time but then suddenly seemed to expect expensive gifts. I don't like to send money but, if there's something they really want, it might be better to give them money to put towards it. Personally, I prefer thought to be put into things. Saying that, I put a lot of thought into the gifts I sent my step-daughters and granddaughters for Christmas. I'm still waiting for a thank you. We got a card from the youngest step-daughter. Nothing from the eldest. So I got the youngest a birthday card but no present, and nothing for the eldest. It does make you not want to bother when they don't.
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
23 Feb 17
You want to just throw your hands in the air - yes...absolutely. We opened a savings account for each kid. It was well accepted by mom and dad...but then again, what else could they say?
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37401)
• Toccoa, Georgia
6 Nov 16
I really think just sending a check is the right thing to do, so that they can buy the gift that they want to give the child. Giving gifts that might not be the right thing that needs to be returned or is kept in a closet to re gift later on, has gotten so tacky in this materialistic age, Just send the money! I am always the most grateful when relatives send a check.
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
6 Nov 16
It is either send a check or pick from her list...there is no option to buy something I want to buy LOL.
1 person likes this
@paigea (36315)
• Canada
6 Nov 16
I grew up in a list making home. I like having a list to choose from. I don't have to select an expensive item. But, I never feel obligated to get something from the list. If something else looks like a great idea I go with it.
Now, we are buying for so many young adults, last year they all got cheques just given in a creative way. Thinking of doing the same thing this year.
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
6 Nov 16
The 4 year old has some issues, so I guess she picks things he is capable of playing with....I'll send money let her shop
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
6 Nov 16
So...she makes the list and you get to choose from that list to buy the gift. So, you aren't given a choice in what to buy and neither are you consulted about the pricing of the said gift! Do I have it right?
If yes then honestly I find it rude and demanding! Personally, I won't even give the check. 
What if I couldn't afford the expensive gift? 
Inconsiderate woman!
What if I couldn't afford the expensive gift? Inconsiderate woman!1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
6 Nov 16
She will have a long list of whatever is popular (what he wants) there might be a few 'cheaper' items, but not many, most are on the high end.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (224032)
• Chile
6 Nov 16
Idon´t think that people should impose on others what to give as presents. Just tell her you will give them what you want and that´s all. I´d be pissed with that too.
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
6 Nov 16
She never had a problem asking for things, it started as soon as they started dating.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (224032)
• Chile
6 Nov 16
@CoralLevang It´s a shame how Christmas has become a race about who spends more!
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
6 Nov 16
I wouldn't give a 4 year old cash - but I would give the cash to the parents to buy the gifts. We never see the kids we buy anyway.
2 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
6 Nov 16
I agree! -
A check for Christmas and let them pick out the gifts. :)
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
6 Nov 16
Maybe we'll skip Christmas this year LOL....
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
6 Nov 16
@AbbyGreenhill Hahah 
Do they gift you two anything?!
Do they gift you two anything?!
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
7 Nov 16
So she really so a lust of what to expect from those who will give gifts . For me , i find it not good .
A gift should be something that is a surprise . One that really comes from the heart of the giver , not something given just to conform to what was in the list .
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
7 Nov 16
You are so right but not everyone believes that...some mom's just like to be 'boss'.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (113052)
• El Paso, Texas
6 Nov 16
Awww, don't let it bug ya, she's a mom and wants her kid to get the good stuff butt she's too cheap to buy it herself.
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
7 Nov 16
She spends money like its water, so I don't think she's cheap for herself and her family. She may be in for a rude awakening one day.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (342447)
• Rockingham, Australia
7 Nov 16
It does seem a bit high-handed. We aren't ever going to have grandchildren so I'm not likely to come across this problem but if we had grandkids I wouldn't mind some suggestions as there is so much choice as far as toys and games go. And finally, if I were a Mum drawing up such a list, I'd check that the recipient actually wanted a list first and foremost and I'd make darn sure there was a range of prices from VERY cheap to not too expensive. But I was brought up in totally different times.
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
7 Nov 16
What gets me more than the list is that she only 'talks' to me when it's for something like this. I comment on the baby photos she posts and she never responds....It's like she only is willing to communicate with there is something in it for her.
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
6 Nov 16
These two aren't old enough to go to the store LOL....well, the boy knows what he likes so he could pick stuff out I'm sure...that's probably how she comes up with the list.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
7 Nov 16
honestly, since she only shows up when she wants you to buy them stuff, I'd just send that check, why bother putting time and effort into something
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
6 Nov 16
Just send them a cheque and let them do the shopping. That way you won't have to give it another thought.
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
6 Nov 16
If it was me, I'd rather have the check.
1 person likes this
@jennyjoy (1957)
• Bangalore, India
6 Nov 16
If you prefer sending a cheque then do just that.It would annoy most people.
