My mom said, "we have to move on"

@Ayuriny (5144)
Denpasar, Indonesia
November 9, 2016 7:07pm CST
My mom and I had a conversation this morning. She asked my opinion if I would agree to donate all stuff which had been my passed father's. She said that we should move on. Keeping those all stuff would always make her sad. I didn't know what to say to her. Sometimes I felt like I wanted to keep all of my father's stuff, but sometimes I felt like I wanted to let them go. It's hard for me to decide....
8 people like this
13 responses
@akalinus (42874)
• United States
10 Nov 16
I'm so sorry you lost your dad. It will always hurt. I recently lost my husband. All his clothes and other things went to the Salvation Army. We did pick out cherished objects to keep. You can keep things that you love and get rid of the rest. He will not be needing his clothes and stuff anymore.
2 people like this
@akalinus (42874)
• United States
10 Nov 16
@Ayuriny I'm so sorry. It will be okay though.
1 person likes this
@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
@akalinus Thanks..
1 person likes this
@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
Thanks, Jo. I will pick up some which are dear to me. I think they are useless for my father too...
2 people like this
@ilocosboy (45156)
• Philippines
10 Nov 16
That communication between you and mother will help a lot. You have to weigh your feelings. If she said she wants to move on donating your father's stuff, well if you wanted to keep them then tell it to her. Put them in a good place where your mother cannot see them.
2 people like this
@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
Yes, I think I need to keep some of his stuff, but let not my mom know about it.
• United States
10 Nov 16
I think you should keep the items that remind you of him and donate other stuff that you don't want. I am sorry to hear about your loss.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Nov 16
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@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
Yup. That's what I'll do. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@princemaxp (2027)
• Bhubaneshwar, India
10 Nov 16
in my country all things of the person who has passed away is donated.....I just want you to know that your father is still in your heart and no one could take him away from there...so by donating his things won't change a thing...
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@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
Thanks for reminding me about that. I'm in a sensitive period now. Sorry if probably I did something 'crazy'.... You are so busy..
1 person likes this
• Bhubaneshwar, India
10 Nov 16
@Ayuriny I have also lost some loved ones and know the feeling...
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@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
@princemaxp Do you still have grandmother or grandfather?
1 person likes this
@RitzzView (2994)
• India
10 Nov 16
How about closing them on box and not opening that box.. Open them whenever you're able to take the pain.. Cause it seems to be a sensitive period for you two now.
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@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
I think my mon doesn't want to see the box.. We are indeed in a very sensitive period...
@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
11 Nov 16
@RitzzView Yup. I'll talk to my mom for the best decision.. Thanks, Ritika...
1 person likes this
@RitzzView (2994)
• India
11 Nov 16
@Ayuriny okay .. Make sure you do whatever is most comfortable for you two
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@dhoyalahoy (1414)
• Philippines
6 Apr 17
Memory stays. That's the things we can treasure
1 person likes this
@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
6 Apr 17
You're right. Can't leave the memories behind.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Apr 17
@Ayuriny You have to accept but never forget.
@youless (112425)
• Guangzhou, China
11 Nov 16
In fact I agree with your mother. The life must go on. It will be nice to donate your father's clothes to the people who in need. Your father would be glad to it as his stuff could help others. You can keep other things like your father's watch, photos etc as the mementos.
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@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
11 Nov 16
Yes, I agree with her too. And I have kept some of my father's stuff in a box. Life must go on..
@chiwasaki (4694)
• Philippines
10 Nov 16
You can donate all his stuffs if your mom wants it. she's probably having a hard time moving on with these remembrance.. I believe your father will always be in her heart.
1 person likes this
@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
Yes, it's actually what she wanted to do. She even asked me to donate all my father's stuff, nothing left. I'm afraid my father would feel being forgotten ...
@MattMeng (3444)
• Hangzhou, China
10 Nov 16
Perhaps it is better to move on.
1 person likes this
@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
Yes,...but it's hard to do.
@jstory07 (138935)
• Roseburg, Oregon
10 Nov 16
Keep one very special thing to you and than donate the rest. It is time to move on.
1 person likes this
@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
Yes...there are some. My father's glasses, books, mug, hat, jacket... Ohh,.all are special for me... But, yeah it's time to move on..
@paigea (36320)
• Canada
10 Nov 16
What a difficult thing to do. I am sorry for your loss.
1 person likes this
@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
Thanks, paigea. It's a very difficult situation for me..
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@ms1864 (6885)
• Bangalore, India
10 Nov 16
it is a tough decision. Things have memories attached to them sometimes. If it were me...i would keep the one most important thing and let the rest go. Something small but significant. Has it been many years?
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@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
Almost 6 years now. Yes, I'll keep some most important things.
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@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
10 Nov 16
Everybody grieves differently. You will know when the time is right to get rid of things. Keep the things that are dear to you. Even if you put them in a box and put them away your mom may find it easier to deal with. You don't have tone give things away if you are not ready to do so. How long has it been since your Dad passed away?
1 person likes this
@Ayuriny (5144)
• Denpasar, Indonesia
10 Nov 16
It's almost 6 years now.. but we still can feel that he's still with us.. I think I will put some of his stuff in a box like what you said. How about your Dad's stuff? Do you still have them?
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@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
10 Nov 16
@Ayuriny I have a few things of Dad's that I have stored away. Mom kept all his stuff until she passed away. I found it comforting then to go home and have everything there. I didn't get too much of my mom's stuff but what I got I treasure.
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