Some Thoughts

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Just relaxing in bed. Wrapping up the night with a few games of chess and reading some articles by Hebrew and Greek Studies. I wish I could sleep like my wife but my mind races a little too much. Thoughts about living a life that isn't a waste. That has purpose and that is what I have been called for. But the simple fact of the matter is that it isn't so simple to know how to spend your time. We all want to be the best individuals that we can but very few of us can accomplish this. So is there a secret? How can we find a way to devote our time to the things we love in this life? Work is going well for me but is it my career? I enjoy doing it and the day's fly by but is it what I have been called for? All n all this is just speculation. We are creatures of habit so I just continue with what I know how to do. I am not even sure I am learning on the way, but people are noticing so I must be. I have to learn to face my feelings, and not numb them with alcohol or fill them with Lust. I need a clear sober head, but I am afraid of what I will become and what thoughts will then occupy my mind.