Back in touch with an old friend after many years. How do you react to similar situations?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (218462)
Walnut Creek, California
November 26, 2016 2:03pm CST
An old ex-girlfriend recently got in touch with me after several years of not having had any contact. We actually dated in College, and then saw each other periodically over the years to catch up.
My life has been pretty "linear": teaching preschool in Seattle while I applied to Graduate School, Graduate School in Santa Barbara, teaching College in Iowa, returning to California to do educational research, landing another teaching job and a job working with poor kids simultaneously, blah blah blah.
Her life has been more troubled: issues with prescription medications, a couple of abusive boyfriends, falling in with materialistic Scottsdale AZ yuppie types. She's held responsible jobs, managing physicians' offices mostly, but she's also experienced a lot of loneliness and sadness.
How do you react when old friends contact you, especially those who have struggled and may need someone to lean on? I'm going to be supportive. I'm delighted to hear from her. But I'm also going to be cautious. Do I want to meet her in some neutral place, as we've done over the years? Or just communicate via email and maybe phone?
Have you experienced similar situations? I'm going to post a link to one of my favorite all-time pop songs. It's how I feel right now.
Skip navigation UploadSign inSearch Loading... Close Yeah, keep it Undo Close Watch QueueQueueWatch QueueQueue The next video is startingstop Loading... Watch Queue Queue __count__/__total__ Loading... Find out whyClose GlorytoJesus alone SubscribeSubscri
23 people like this
29 responses
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
26 Nov 16
I would definitely meet up with them over coffee and chat. I would be supportive but cautious.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (218462)
• Walnut Creek, California
26 Nov 16
@Happy2BeMe But that's a lot effort and commitment!
1 person likes this
@amadeo (111938)
• United States
26 Nov 16
I also have no desire.Like@teamfreak16 move on.Beside all of my old friends are gone.
Do not mean to sounds so depressing.LOL
3 people like this
@celticeagle (166660)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Nov 16
When people come out of our pasts it gives us a bit of a jolt. Sounds like she might need a friend at this time in her life. This is one thing that is good about FB. Brings people together.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (166660)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Nov 16
@TheHorse .....Yes, since cells phones we can't look up a number easily like we used to.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218462)
• Walnut Creek, California
28 Nov 16
@celticeagle Not if they move.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (135903)
• India
27 Nov 16
If you have nothing to lose you will be doing a good thing lending your shoulder
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218462)
• Walnut Creek, California
28 Nov 16
@allknowing Thanks. I think it will turn out well.
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
26 Nov 16
If she ever comes to meet, perhaps hanging out with the coffee shop. I'd be supportive, but distant too because people change between the years. How'd she find you?
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
26 Nov 16
@TheHorse I see! 
Hope the catching up goes well.
Hope the catching up goes well.1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218462)
• Walnut Creek, California
26 Nov 16
@infatuatedbby I hope it goes well too. She was a significant part of my "history." I am sad that life has treated her roughly at times.
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (81899)
• Onaway, Michigan
26 Nov 16
I would meet up for coffee with her some place. I love this song. Just be careful whatever you decide to do.
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (81899)
• Onaway, Michigan
26 Nov 16
@TheHorse Yeah I would have to say it would be difficult to meet up living that far away from each other. I guess you are right email and phone calls will have to do for now.
@Tampa_girl7 (50179)
• United States
27 Nov 16
Such a coincidence that I read this tonight. This afternoon I received a telephone call from a high school friend who has had a very troubled life.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
27 Nov 16
I was going to suggest caution as I was reading your post, yup caution. I would meet her but that could lead to more than you really want.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43418)
• Denver, Colorado
26 Nov 16
I guess I'd say that how I react depends upon which girl.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218462)
• Walnut Creek, California
26 Nov 16
@teamfreak16 I have a hard time viewing it that way. As Gordon Lightfoot sang, "Anyone that I've called friend/knows they will not be forgot."
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43418)
• Denver, Colorado
26 Nov 16
@TheHorse - I really have no desire to see any of them, honestly. I've moved on.
1 person likes this
@guruduttrai (13)
• Raipur, India
27 Nov 16
Yes, definitely meet her, if she's troubled it's your responsibility to relieve her, being her friend. Personally, I don't gel up with old friends easily after a long time, unless they are my best friends ofcourse but again, none of my best bros are out of touch. I don't know about you but you should meet her and be there for her.
But be cautious, you two broke up because there were issues between you. Don't go down that road again, unless you're sure.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (180358)
• United States
27 Nov 16
I would take it slow whatever you do. Once you find out what she is looking for, and what kind of relationship she wants, you can kind of take it from there.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (79649)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
26 Nov 16
It always depends on the circumstances.; Who knows you might discover that you still have things in common and if nothing else can become great friends.I became friends on FB with my high school boyfriend and was glad to discover that he had a wonderful family and had finally found this true love. I also am in touch with my boyfriend from university and he too has a family and kids but it is nice to be in touch and to catch up on things.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10743)
• Canada
27 Nov 16
Supportive but cautious is the way to go. You don't want to loose what you have or who you are in a quest to save someone,
1 person likes this
@Mycanvas (108)
• India
27 Nov 16
A friend in need is a friend indeed, so counsel her for problems she is going through. Help her, extend some good remedies. Help her by any means of communication, let it be by mails, phones, texting etc etc. Let her feel comfortable by sharing her problems. A shoulder of help in crisis is always good. By the way, you've posted apt song in the scenario. :))) Proceed & help
1 person likes this
