Source of My Anxiety

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I've come to terms today with the fact that my father is the source of my anxiety. I hate talking about negative things, but when it's in your face everyday, how do you just ignore it and pretend everything is ok? Well that's pretty much what I've been doing. I ignore everything and pretend its ok to survive here. I can't wait to get out of here. Trust me on that. He manages to throw my entire day off. Other small things in my life probably wouldn't even bother me as much if I didn't have this constant thing bothering me. No one can make mistakes in this house. Everything has to be perfect. He's never apologized for one thing he has done (and he done plenty enough to last a lifetime). I didn't want to get this personal, but you guys are my friends right? I have no one else to vent to. My fiance already knows my story and helps me with my anxiety daily and I know it can get tiring on his end. Anyone who has anxiety understands what I'm saying. When it comes, it's there and doesn't leave until it wants to. I'll never understand how my mom could remain married to a monster for all these years. But that's her life. Her love. It's not for me to understand. I honestly feel like breaking down right now because there are so many thoughts going through my head. I can't do that though. I have to be stronger than that. There is so much more to this story but I will leave it here for the moment.