A Tale Of Two Old People's Homes.

@jaboUK You're welcome my friend. I know some places like that are not good. But sometimes people have no choice. Sad I know. Maybe I should run for president to fix things that I feel are just wrong with this country. And that is one of them.

@inertia4 I've only ever been in one of these places and I'm afraid it fell into the first category. People were just sitting around waiting to die. Thanks for liking the poem.

@inertia4 I'd vote for you!

@valmnz I think Nursing Homes are different as people there need medical attention, but you are right about Old People's Homes being called Care Homes now. Nobody seems to call a spade a spade any more, do they?

@jaboUK my brother is in care at the moment and even though the staff try to make it a happy place, some of them really are past it.

@valmnz Do you mean the residents or the staff are past it? Sorry your brother needs to be there, but it can be the best option for some people.

@jaboUK Your post made me think about this. I do it from time to time, but then I decide to forget. I suppose I will have the money to be in a nice place while my brain works. But there are not many good places for people who are only in charge of caregivers.

@marguicha I know there must be some good ones about, but the only one I've been in depressed me too. I'd hate to end up in one of these places, no matter how good they are.

@marguicha Let's keep our fingers crossed that neither of us will need those places.

@marlina I'm glad you found a good one Marlina, it can make such a difference to the twilight years.

@jaboUK Yes, it does make a big difference.

@crazyhorseladycx I can see that the residents whose families visit regularly would get preferential treatment - it would keep the staff on their toes. Over-medicating is unforgiveable in my view.

@crazyhorseladycx Oh my, I can just see you wading into the staff at that place! Disorderly conduct indeed! Anybody would be lucky to have you on their side in times of trouble.

@jaboUK yes ma'am, but such ought not be that way - all the residents should be treated with respect regardless :( i nearly needed bail funds last time i visited the nursin' home. a friend 'f mine's momma 'd to go 'nto one fer her physical therapy 'fter breakin' her hip'n havin' surgery. i'd seen her the day prior to bein' moved. she t'was so doped 'p, she didn't e'en know what planet she was'n. i called her daughter immediately 'n cornered the head nurse. claimed the doc 'd written the order fer all those meds, they'd no way to disobey his orders. needless to say, i'd my fill 'n told the daughter when she arrived. they did call the law'n me (disorderly conduct...) but the police were'n my side, 's well's the daughter. she assured me that her meds were adjusted 'n she kept a close eye'n her momma. sadly i t'weren't allowed back. 'd to wait 6 weeks fer her to get back home 'fore i could visit with her. she recalled nothin' 'f her first 2 weeks't that facility :( 'n she t'was sharp 's a tack.

@pgntwo That's twice that you've given me a bit of nostalgia in half an hour. I used to watch that show too, and enjoyed it. Wouldn't it be great if all places like that had their own individual outside areas like that?

@jaboUK It would, yes.

@jaboUK .....Very patriotic.

@celticeagle Your grandmother was obviously a very kind lady to do that for the Vets.

Very true @jaboUK it's a shame the courts only saw how much money the sibling made verses the time I had to be with her. Well, spilt milk anymore, can't change the past.

@rebelann I'm sorry for what your mom must have gone through. A bit of interest shown, or time spent just talking to them would make such a difference.

@jstory07 I understand that for some families there is no alternative to placing their elderly relatives in a Home, but I sure as heck hope it won't happen to me.

@GreatMartin Yes Martin, taking a few pills could be preferable if we can't live independently any more, I do understand. Does the New Yorker publish poems? I've never thought to send any of mine anywhere.

@GreatMartin I've read about those scams, and I'm too savvy to send money.

@jaboUK Yes they do and all it will cost you is a self addressed stamped envelope!! (And I won't even take my 15-20% commission!) By the way never send a poem to any place that wants you to pay!!

@Inlemay Yes, physical care should only be a part of it, people need interaction or they will stagnate. How heartbreaking to have no-one to visit them.

@Ceerios Thanks Gus - I was going to do this as a prose article, but rhymes started forming in my head, and this is the result. Perhaps you could make a post of your own regarding your experiences.

@Ceerios I didn't know about you being on the board of nursing home - you must be a bit of an expert on the subject.

@jaboUK - Ms Janet - I could probably fill a whole book with those experiences. One place I had to work in quite frequently was one in which I would probably not kennel a hound dog. All the same it was filled with mostly destitute old folks with whom I formed many friendships and had great conversations, etc. Like the old gal whom I called "Speedy." She was a study, was "Speedy." I don't suppose I told you that, for several years, I was on the board of directors of a chain of nursing homes with facilities in a number of cities across the big state of Texas. All of their places passed my "smell test." And that might make up part of another post, come to think about it... Onwards and upwards, @jaboUK. -Gus-

@garymarsh6 I agree with all you say Gary. My daughter-in-law works in one of the more up-market places, and she says that residents are often shunted off elsewhere when their money runs out. Sad, especially when they've come to think of it as home.

@jaboUK Not just sad Janet it is wicked and insensitive!

@just4him That would be more of a nursing home than an old people's home? Whatever, you got a tatse of what it was like. It must be awful if their families just abandon them there.

@jaboUK It is. Yes, it was a nursing home. My parents were in an assisted living home. They had activities for them to do.

That is so sad. When my mom had a stroke and was in a few different rehab places. The first one was because the doctors thought she could do physical therapy but they were proved wrong. Between my dad and sister, my mom had a visitor every single day. Some days the grandchildren would go but we always tried to have every day covered, even though we don't think she even knew we were there. We had a bad snow storm once and no one was suppose to be on the road and dad insisted on going to visit her. He ended up in a snow bank and someone had to get him out. He was 91 at the time and extremely stubborn.

@jaboUK I had a dream of setting up a senior home and had involved a builder who was supposed to follow what was outlined by me. I am mentioning those points here: VETERANS’ CO-OPERATIVE ABODES would be set up by social organisations and managed by them. The funds for the infrastructure would have to be collected from donors. These funds would be used to set up the infrastructure which becomes the property of the social organisation . For psychological reasons however those wanting to own apartments would be given these apartments on certain payments governed by certain bye laws.The members will pay for their maintenance. A VETERANS’ CO-OPERATIVE ABODE should compulsorily have the following features: 1. Land 2. Independent OWNERSHIP apartments 3. Restaurant 4. Department Store 5. Pharmacy 6. Communication facilities (xerox,e.mail, etc. etc.) 7. Hospital or easy access to any other hospital 8. Emergency ward 9. Transport facilities 10.Escorts 11.Health Club 12.Guest Houses for visitors 13.Landscaped exteriors with facility for morning/evening walks. 14.Pollution free remunerative activities on the premises for those who have the interest and health. 15.Organised social activities. 16. Opportunities for furthering their education. 17. Opportunities for social work on the premises THE ABOVE FACILITIES EXCEPTING PERMANENT RESIDENCY SHOULD BE THROWN OPEN TO PUBLIC SO THAT THE SENIOR CITIZEN GETS AN OPPORTUNITY TO INTERACT WITH OTHER THAN JUST HIS AGE GROUP. THIS WILL ALSO HELP THE PROJECT TO BE VIABLE. The number of senior citizens who cannot manage life independently though financially independent is constantly on the increase the world over and therefore this CONCEPT can be effectively applied GLOBALLY. The cost factor depends on the country in which this is set up. In India for example if set up in rural areas an individual can live comfortably with say an amount equal to around US$28000 of which around $6000 would be required to own an apartment and the balance would have to be invested the proceeds of which would be used for his or her daily needs excluding MEDICAL for which one will have to be insured. The apartment and the investment amount would be the sole property of the member.The amount mentioned here is not on any actual calculations and therefore needs to be worked out. Several senior citizens are sitting on properties which do not yield for want of maintenance. Such properties if sold can provide them the desired funds. THE COMMON INFRASTRUCTURE WOULD HAVE TO BE SET UP FROM DONATIONS. I

@allknowing Great ideas you have there Grace. Did nothing come of your plans?

@allknowing That's it exactly Grace. If they don't get any stimulus they just sit around and wait to die.

@jaboUK My theory was if I kept them active and happy, then they would require less nursing care-and after a few years that theory was proven correct. And the lessons that they shared with me, our lives 65 or 70 years apart in age, yet, so very parallel just the same. I hope that I age as gracefully and as wonderfully as so many of them did, and that I can share it with the youth that will interact with me.

@Juliaacv You had a lot of wisdom to be able to work out that active people are not only happier, but require less care. I'm actually older than a lot of the people I saw in the home that I visited - frightened me a bit.

@Juliaacv Yes, Home for the Aged or Old People's Home aren't good names, even though that is what they are. @valmnz has pointed out that they are mostly called Care Homes now, which is better. I remember us talking about your experiences in this field before, and the very fact that the home you worked in actually had an Activity Director speaks volumes.

@DWDavis It's a shame if getting treated like human beings is only available if you pay for it. The things I suggest in my poem needn't cost a lot - books and jigsaws and a piano etc, then the residents can amuse themselves.

@jaboUK Do not worry Janet, it happens to me all the time, the notification system needs to be tuned a bit.

@LadyDuck Yes, I agree - I only found your comment because I received a new one on that post, and so spied yours.

@LadyDuck So sorry Anna, this comment got buried right at the bottom and I've only just noticed it. That's great that your local Home is encouraging more interaction, and are really paying attention to the well being of their residents.

@amadeo I don't think any of us would choose this voluntarily.

@Ceerios Coming over to read it.

@Ceerios Oh gosh, was it all melted? (You have a kind heart Gus, but I knew that all along).

@jaboUK - Ms Janet - Speedy was one of many people who were easy to appreciate. Another was an older Polish guy who told me once that he did not have a jacket to wear outside in the cold weather. I got a jacket for him. One day as I arrived at his nursing home, here he came down the pathway. When he got close enough he quietly asked me to "help" him. Then he explained that he needed help getting something out of the side pocket of the jacket.. Yes. The pocket bulged out quite a lot. Then he explained that he had tried to remove what it was by himself, but his hand got stuck in the pocket. "What is in the pocket?" I asked. "A pint of ice cream," he answered. For some reason the nurse had allowed him to walk to a market and buy some ice cream, but he had decided to not get a bag in which to carry it back to the nursing home. Kind of like Speedy and her chicken and biscuits. He did not want anyone else to know that he had the ice cream. Anyway, he used his new jacket almost wisely for more than just to stay warm. He used it to keep his ice cream cold -Gus-