Listen to me
By Sunny Shores
@SunnyShores (201)
Boone, North Carolina
December 22, 2016 11:17am CST
Do you ever wonder how much people are really listening to what you have to say. Do they fully comprehend the impact of your words - do they consider their own perspective in relation to yours - do they communicate those thoughts in an active dialogue?
When I lived in various places in Asia - for many of those years I taught ESL to earn my daily bread. I became focused on listening skills as a way to improve communication. As we focus more on listening - I noticed that body language of the listener was more responsive to the speaker than before. These are signs that the listener is emotionally engaged in the topic.
Do you emotionally engage when your friends are talking? when your family is speaking to you? Try to be more "there" in the moment for your friends & loved ones - the responses might enrich your life.
10 people like this
9 responses
@SunnyShores (201)
• Boone, North Carolina
24 Dec 16
@Bluedoll True - having no other distractions certainly helps with focus & intent! Not to mention your discernment for what you're hearing improves - Happy Holidays & thanks for stopping by for a read.
1 person likes this
@SunnyShores (201)
• Boone, North Carolina
24 Dec 16
@Bluedoll balancing group dynamics can be difficult - I guess it depends on the personality types in the group. The more polite everyone is - the easier it is to balance with harmony - IMHO
1 person likes this
@just4him (317315)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
25 Dec 16
@SunnyShores Yes, I agree, all can add up to poor listening skills as well. It helps in those situations to be purposeful in listening.
2 people like this
@SunnyShores (201)
• Boone, North Carolina
24 Dec 16
@just4him yes - overworking - being stressed - the wear & tear of daily hassles - they all add up to potential for mistakes & misunderstandings. I always admired folks who took the time to meaningfully de-compress the stress then purposefully engage with each other in more loving lighthearted tones. Happy Holidays
2 people like this
@SunnyShores (201)
• Boone, North Carolina
27 Dec 16
@just4him just did my best in planting seed for lifelong learning & motivation to be self actualized.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
23 Dec 16
I learned ESL when I was in my twenties to translate for a group of deaf people that started to come to our place of worship. It was a wonderful experience. I learned the importance of really focusing when communicating. I find that most people don't really care about the other person when communicating.
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
23 Dec 16
@SunnyShores I have no problem with people who disagree with me but I'm not fond of those that are not listening. When I notice that a person is not listening or is not maintaining a bit of eye contact then I know that my words are falling on "deaf" ears and I move on.
1 person likes this
@SunnyShores (201)
• Boone, North Carolina
23 Dec 16
Yes - if I notice the body language of my "listener" is displaying "I couldn't care less" then I stop talking. It's amazing how many people don't notice that I'd quit speaking in mid-thought or sentence. Then I have the confirmation that I needed - maybe they aren't "friendship material" - sigh - Live & Learn! However - it sounds like you have had a great experience with learning to listen with deaf folks :) Kudos on awesome life skills!
2 people like this
@SunnyShores (201)
• Boone, North Carolina
24 Dec 16
@1hopefulman Time is better spent where words are heard & hearts are open - Happy Holidays!
1 person likes this
@SunnyShores (201)
• Boone, North Carolina
24 Dec 16
@DianneN we could all use some time to relieve the stress, rebalance ourselves - then gather & engage with the ones we love & are closest too. We just have to make a conscious effort towards it! Happy Holidays!
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247184)
• United States
24 Dec 16
@SunnyShores So true! Happy Holidays to you, too!
1 person likes this
@I_m_the_alter_ego (49)
• Surat, India
23 Dec 16
Yes.! U r absolutely right! I mean I had the same thing about people not emotionally engaged when I used to speak. The other way round was not true though. I am a good listener always.
1 person likes this
@SunnyShores (201)
• Boone, North Carolina
24 Dec 16
@I_m_the_alter_ego that's a great attitude to have - listen with your heart and you'll know if your talking to someone who's emotionally engaged or not. Of course - balancing daily life chores helps to have time/energy/focus for those you love & care for. Happy Holidays!
@Hanners90 (13)
• United States
23 Dec 16
Totally agree. Sometimes we all just need someone to listen and not try to throw their voices in there or fix things. Just to know someone is there.
1 person likes this
@SunnyShores (201)
• Boone, North Carolina
23 Dec 16
add a hug or two and they will really feel special ^_^
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (161006)
• United States
22 Dec 16
Many people only listen to respond, and not to really hear. That idea is not original with me but I agree. I think I can be guilty as well.
1 person likes this
@SunnyShores (201)
• Boone, North Carolina
24 Dec 16
@GardenGerty - yes - I have to admit there are times when I'm overwhelmed with multi-tasking & I do the same.... yet I really try not to!
@BrittAikens25 (1)
•
22 Dec 16
I thought I was the only one who even thought that way. I just wonder how people interpret what I say. I love this discussion.
1 person likes this
@SunnyShores (201)
• Boone, North Carolina
24 Dec 16
@BrittAikens25 Join the group! Your in with like minds :) Sometimes I wonder what folks must think of me too! I know many think I'm a goofy oddball - oh well - let the fun times roll! Happy Holidays!
