Friendship and Jealousy
By Christie
@jainaproudmoore (457)
February 4, 2017 9:47am CST
I know it's kind of immature, but I just can't help getting jealous now that someone's stealing my bestfriend's time and attention. I mean, ever had this exclusivity wherein there are certain things that only bestfriends do or share? Then all of a sudden this new friend of your bestfrend steals your spot from you and do all the things that you and your best friend share?
It's crazy but I feel bad now that my bestfriend's doing everything what we used to do together, and even shares more to that new friend of hers over me. And she doesn't notice that we're drifting.
For me, losing a best friend is actually worse than losing a boyfriend. I actually told her how I feel, but she only told me not to feel bad because she's just trying to fit in with her new colleagues. I was actually secretly hoping she'd comfort me by making up for the lost time and catch up, but to no avail.
I guess I'm on my own for now...
11 people like this
15 responses
@marguicha (222364)
• Chile
4 Feb 17
Exclusive friends tend to provoke hurt feelings. Get other friends and you will feel better.
2 people like this
@marguicha (222364)
• Chile
4 Feb 17
@jainaproudmoore Ask yourself what makes her your "best" friend. Maybe you can be happy to have her just as one of your friends.
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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4 Feb 17
@marguicha well, we used to share every milestone or any heartbreak with each other first before we share it with out other friends (or of we ever share it with others). We have this girl bonding that others envy.
Maybe I'm just upset right now...
1 person likes this
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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4 Feb 17
The thing is, I have been there. I had my set of friends. I tag her along whenever I habg out with my other friends. I dunno for sure if she gets jealous though, but one time she did when I went out with them whilst she was busy with work. That's why I was wondering, if she knows how it feels to be left out, why would she do it to me?
2 people like this
@introspection (95)
• India
4 Feb 17
it happens sometimes..people need there own space..give her some time..if she feel same for you then definitely she will come back to you.
1 person likes this
@introspection (95)
• India
4 Feb 17
@jainaproudmoore thats good..and remember you cant expect others to be with you as the way you are with them.
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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5 Feb 17
@introspection thank you for pointing that out. I think I should just let things be, right?
1 person likes this
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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4 Feb 17
That's what I did since yesterday. Whatever the outcome, I hope I'll be ready. Meanwhile, I might as well hangout with my other friends.
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (14749)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
4 Feb 17
Your feelings are natural. It can't be easy having someone else take the time of a friend when you thought that time would be yours.
1 person likes this
@jainaproudmoore (457)
•
4 Feb 17
Yes, and even with the secrets or milestones or heartbreaks, she goes to them first rather than me... 
@chrisandmark (606)
• United Kingdom
4 Feb 17
I feel for you, but as we get older I think as we get older 'exclusive' friends get fewer and fewer as we all have our own lives to lead
1 person likes this
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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4 Feb 17
That's true. It's just that she's like a sister to me. I don't have a younger sister, and she's the one I consider as my younger sis. Should I move on?
1 person likes this
@chrisandmark (606)
• United Kingdom
4 Feb 17
@jainaproudmoore My opinion is not that you should particularly 'move on' as your friend will always be there for you, make more friends yourself and ALL your relationships will evolve - hope it works out for you
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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4 Feb 17
@chrisandmark maybe I should get used that she has new set of friends, and hang out with my set of friends, yes?
(By the way, I attached a screenshot of my comment to another myLotter, so I won't have to copy-paste it and be flagged for abuse. 
)
)
@AranciataRoss (322)
• United States
4 Feb 17
Perhaps the dynamics of your friendship are changing. That happens sometimes as we get older and the reaponsibilities of life pull us in different directions.
@AranciataRoss (322)
• United States
5 Feb 17
@jainaproudmoore That's understandable. Perhaps things will return to the way they were. In the meantime, you can only be the friend she allows you to be.
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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5 Feb 17
Perhaps that's our case. I just feel sad that everything happened so sudden.
1 person likes this
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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5 Feb 17
@AranciataRoss you're right. And then perhaps I'll start to check myself if I have been doing the same to my other friends. Just in case there are some who feel taken for granted though.
1 person likes this
@rolling14 (8)
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5 Feb 17
I totally get you. The thing is if this happens then let them be. You did your part in telling them the rift that's forming in your friendship. If she still didn't want to hang out then why hang on?
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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5 Feb 17
That's also what I am asking myself. I usually treasure people like gem. Maybe I just got too attached?
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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7 Feb 17
@rolling14 i will try to do that. But I can't help detaching now that I am hurt.
@rolling14 (8)
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6 Feb 17
@jainaproudmoore we're always getting attached. That's what friendship does. But the thing is, sometime we grow apart or we lost connection. Maybe you need to friend new friends but try not to lose connection or be dettached to your bestfriend. Just test the waters and all will be well
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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5 Feb 17
It still saddens me. Now, we don't have time at all.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
10 Feb 17
@jainaproudmoore
I told myself, the next time she will ask favor from me. I will ignore her.
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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10 Feb 17
It's a sad feeling, really. I don't like the feeling but there's nothing that I can do but face it.
I'll visit your discussions.
1 person likes this
@shantalclay (623)
• Baguio, Philippines
5 Feb 17
Jealousy can not be avoided but try to see the situation in a positive way so you cannot be controlled by it.
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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5 Feb 17
I have been trying to cheer myself up. It's a bit hard, but I am trying to get over it. I really want us to be okay, but maybe she just wants to hangout with the new group more, over being with me.
@Manvi_83 (155)
• Bhubaneswar, India
6 Feb 17
@jainaproudmoore We human beings are so emotionally depended on others...but if u dont want to be hurted then you have to be strong enough...practical enough....take it as a friendly advice from a friend......
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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6 Feb 17
Thank you Manvi. I am also hoping for that. Or maybe I just have to open my doors to another best friend.
1 person likes this
@Peacheezzy (5)
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4 Feb 17
This happened to me and my bestie. She had this new friend that came around ALL the time and it just irked MY NERVES. The more she came around the more I felt like my friend was going to drift away from me for good but we fell off just to bounce back because we had been through to much together for this to break us apart. I feel like when you and your friend get back on track with yalls friendship its going to be stronger than ever because yall are not going to let anybody come between the bond that yall share ever again.
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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5 Feb 17
My exact sentiments! I hope we'll also be like that. We ha e drifted already.
1 person likes this
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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5 Feb 17
It does. Makes me feel bad thinking that I may not be her bestfriend after all. It was just I who thinks we are best friends! Haha!
1 person likes this
@ANAYAtair (128)
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6 Feb 17
if she is your true frn... she ll come back to u soon....she ll try to understand how sad u r without her... but if she...does not get it... i think u should communicate less with her....otherwise... u might not get your adequate importance.
@jainaproudmoore (457)
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7 Feb 17
Sigh... That is true. That makes me think of taking on a new job to open more doors.
1 person likes this
