Stupid Things Four

Tweet

1 - I was angry one night with my girlfriend. I slammed the door real hard and the house fell down.  2 - I fell asleep, I was real tired. I slept backwards. I slept like 8 hours. When I woke up it was 8 hours earlier.  3 - I started to drink my water and it fell out of my mouth. My girl asked what was the matter with me. I told her I have a drinking problem.  4 - It was a very hot afternoon in the house, it was like 98 degrees. I went to my thermostat and turned down the sun.  5 - I was asking Siri some questions on my iPhone. The next day I got a call, I said, hello may I help you, it was Siri asking me questions.  6 - I had a dream that I died. So the next morning I called my doctor to see if I was still alive.  7 - I went to the doctor and said, when I walk I lean to the left, what can I do. The doctor said lean to the right.  8 - The doctor told me I am going to die. The he gave me his bill. I told him I couldn’t afford to pay it. He said, well, you can’t afford to die.  9 - I went to the mechanic and told him my car won’t run. He said, no wonder why, it has no shoes.  10 - I tried that trick that magicians do, cutting the lady in half. I had my girlfriend help me. The trick went wrong. Now I have two girlfriends.  11 - I told my girlfriend that I was really cold. I asked her to warm me up. She set me on fire.  12 - I asked the store clerk for change for my dollar, he said tell it to get a job. Copyright © 2017 Steven Cetta All Rights Reserved Image Credit: CoolText.com inertia4, Stupid Things, Four, inertia4posts