I want your opinions.....
By ANAYA
@ANAYAtair (128)
February 11, 2017 12:47am CST
hello friends....
this is a letter given to me by a very close friend of mine....
I want to know what you think about this matter......
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9/2/16
IS IT FAIR?????
I believe……..We have only one life…. Each of us…unique individuals….unique thoughts…our dreams are only ours…unique dreams…aspirations…longings…wishes…desires…
Should we give up our dreams…just for the sake of others' pride, predilection, bias attitude ,adamant nature…????
I want to be…what I have always wished for….I have never wanted to pursue courses in this stream….
I love singing….i have always wanted to sing… why doesn't he understand it….???
You don't really know…Ana….but I have spent hours crying…late night…just wishing for the moment when he will really understand….what I am doing …I am doing for him….only him…
I really had little interest in this career…but still….I am pursuing …just for the sake of his happiness….just because…he will be proud when his daughter will secure a good position…
But. why doesn't he understand that? I have always acted according to his wishes…he wanted me not to pursue the extra curriculum.. I did not.. He wanted me TO BE THE DADDY'S GOOD GIRL….I have always been…. Then …why does he hurt me by his words…Is his ego so important to him…that he won't give it up ..even if he loses his daughter??? I am hating my life ….truly …
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Her dad wanted her to pursue ..a course in Medical Science...She wanted to be a singer....she sacrificed her dream..acted according to his wishes....but he did not understand ...he harassed her mentally..and she ,at last,broke down...
She quit..
6 people like this
12 responses
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
11 Feb 17
Many parents wanted their children just obey and study according to their wish. It is not good. I agree, as a parent, parents have their own expectations. However, the child, who do not like to do some course, then it is cruel to force him/her to do just for the sake of parent's wish.
Here the same things happened with your friend too. Since she is doing everything for her dad, she could request her dad to learn music along with the medical course. I think she can win over her father if she choses the right approach. Where is her mother? I think she can take the help from her mother as well.
3 people like this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
11 Feb 17
@ANAYAtair Oh my goodness. Please tell her to have patience and do her best in life. It will give her a comfortable and peaceful life. There will be a great future for her. After all her father can controls her till her marriage. Just tell her be positive in life. Everything will be turned on her way for sure.
2 people like this
@ANAYAtair (128)
•
11 Feb 17
@Sreekala thank you...for your kind words...
I really used to tell her that...even I gave her letters ...with encouraging statements...
but ..you know...her father ...discovered all those letters from her bag ..and threw those into the dustbin...
she cried ...but her father commented"this is rubbish!"
He even forbade her from going out of her home,talking to people...even did not allow to give her phone no. to anyone...and did not even give permission to call me either...
1 person likes this
@ANAYAtair (128)
•
11 Feb 17
Thanks for sharing your opinion...
Her mother has no value in her home.She has no right to speak.. All the decisions are always taken by her father... According to him..his daughter should always excel in every field...and should act like a machine... Emotionless....
2 people like this
@Unique_Ananya (413)
• India
11 Feb 17
That is so very sad.. This generation is facing so much trouble these days. O think parents need to understand what exactly their children want..
2 people like this
@ANAYAtair (128)
•
11 Feb 17
@Unique_Ananya ..thanks ..for your opinion...
yeah!..indeed it is very sad... I still can't believe ..people this him can exist in today's date...
1 person likes this
@ANAYAtair (128)
•
11 Feb 17
@Unique_Ananya maybe...you are right...
But do you think,if She would have secured a position in any of other institutions,except medical .. she would have been allowed to pursue that course?!
1 person likes this
@Unique_Ananya (413)
• India
11 Feb 17
@ANAYAtair maybe it's not his fault.. Even my parents wanted me to study medical.. But i already secured an admission in DU. SOthey were bound to listen to me..
1 person likes this
@luisadannointed (6306)
• Philippines
11 Feb 17
That is hard. But I guess if she is really determine and know that her true dream is singing she should go for it.
Many parents are just too scared for their children specially in showbizness because nothing is permanent here and many are not able to get a break in there. But if she really is for that career then she has to fight for it and don't waste any minutes before its too late.
If singing will not go well I know through pursuing her passion she will land of to the one that God is really planned for her a long time ago. Keep praying and ask God's instruction.
2 people like this
@ANAYAtair (128)
•
11 Feb 17
thanks...a lot... @luisadannointed.. I will definitely tell her that....
1 person likes this
@luisadannointed (6306)
• Philippines
11 Feb 17
@ANAYAtair you are welcome and God bless. Seeking instruction to God is a must.to Christ be the glory.
1 person likes this
@luisadannointed (6306)
• Philippines
11 Feb 17
@ANAYAtair it's great for her to find a friendship you. It's hard to find friend whom you can trust and able to open up with everything that is in your head good or bad.
1 person likes this
@shaynas (5487)
• India
11 Feb 17
I think it's time when parents must change their attitude. It is happening for years now and i feel it's enough. Though i see many people changing, and they let the child decide about what they want. But still many of them remain same!
For your friend i would say, she has to stay strong. Medical stream might not be her choice, but that would give her a good career alternative, she should think like that. And she should go back to singing once she is independent.
2 people like this
@ANAYAtair (128)
•
11 Feb 17
thanks...a lot... @00nazim..for sharing your opinion!
1 person likes this
@rituaigal (46)
• India
11 Feb 17
Its just that,sometimes we want to fit in so bad that we actually stop listening to ourselves. I am also from India and I agree that there is dominance from parents or husbands. But that does not mean she has to lose hope. Its exhausting making somebody else happy, all through your life. But she can talk to him,make him understand and if its still not working out, she can just follow her heart. She should be independent enough to do it. Life is too short to waste over someone else.
2 people like this
@ANAYAtair (128)
•
11 Feb 17
@rituaigal thanks ..for your response.
Yeah,I agree with u!"life is too short to waste over someone else"
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130213)
• Israel
22 Oct 17
That is so hard. I am so sorry. I wish parents would let kids be able to do what they want to do in life and if it is a mistake for them to make it then. The only way one learns is by making their own mistakes and not someone else's. Why can't parents support their children and stand by them? She was manipulated and it is so sad. To bad she could not stand up to them and do what she wants. My family was not there for me at all so I made my own mistakes and when I came to live in Israel they did not understand that and thought I would be back there, but, I never came back there to live. I was only back there twice and the last time was too long so when I finally got back here I did not and do not leave. I never want to get stuck anywhere else again. There are families that do support their kids and are there if they fall and will catch them, but, there are others that do not understand and will push them into things they do not want to do at all and then they do not see how miserable they are.
@atoz1to10 (6780)
• Australia
11 Feb 17
I understand what she is going through. My background is an Asian and alot of Asian parents are like that too. I'm lucky my parents weren't like that, they let us (their children) chose our own careers.
To me, and I believe alot of Asians from my generation, see being a singer is not a job. It's more like a hobby or even a fantasy. Every one can sing but either to be famous or not is very hard... Being a singer or being any artist will not secure you a better future.
So, back to your friend, if she is smart then maybe she can continue with her study and learn singing or being a singer as a hobby... But if she knows for sure that she can't continue with her study, than she'd better give up. How? Only she knows. The only thing she can stop her father from being so 'protective' is moving away. She can travel to another country to work... (I know it's not as easy as it says).. Hope she has worked out what to do now.
*Is this friend of yours married?
1 person likes this
@ANAYAtair (128)
•
11 Feb 17
@atoz1to10 Nope...She is not yet married...
Thanks..a lot..for sharing your opinion....
Indeed.. I am lucky too...My parents let me choose whatever I want to...they support me..
Nope..she has not worked out till now,but.....I believe..She will continue with her study and also..fulfill her dream...one day or another....!!
1 person likes this
@atoz1to10 (6780)
• Australia
11 Feb 17
@ANAYAtair Where is she living now? If she is in USA she can look after her own life, but if she is in India (I look at your location) then it is hard....even if she is married her life will be taken over by her hubby..Right? The only think I can think of is that she has to break free from her parents, don't depend on them...
2 people like this
@ANAYAtair (128)
•
11 Feb 17
@atoz1to10 yeah...she lives in India...You are right.....If she gets a hubby like her father...then definitely her life would be at his hands...
maybe ..you are right...she should break free from her parents!!!
1 person likes this
@stapllotik (1933)
• India
11 Feb 17
At least her father is thinking about her career. I have seen many father doesn't not bother about the daughter's life. I think she should consider this, singing does not have have a stable career. Her father is right if he is not cruel with her.
2 people like this
@ANAYAtair (128)
•
11 Feb 17
thanks..for sharing your opinion @stapllotik...but I feel I need to inform you that her father dominates her....and not instructs her....Maybe He is right.....!!!
but once she said....to me that if she had chosen "Singing" as a career..she would attain peace of mind...she loves the stage,mic,audience.....she wants to sing on and on..and on...
she rarely cares about the monetary thing!!
1 person likes this
