I Could Use some Miracle Right About Now
By Sasha
@diosabella (4789)
February 11, 2017 9:37am CST
I have a very good friend. He's my best friend. All I know is that I love him very much. We have been friends for half of my life, though we never meet . I mean face to face. Its been 15 years since we started chatting.
Yesterday, through my sister I found out that he's dying. That his days are numbered. I was pretty angry because I had to know from my sister and not from him. His cousin told me that he doesn't know that they told me and I already know. He's having a hard time.
I just can't accept it. I want him to live. To be happy. To have family. That's his only wish. He's always in and out of hospitals lapsing into coma in weeks. Getting into bad relationships so he could feel alive and hoping that it would stick. And now that he found someone his times up!
Now I have to fly where he is. His beloved is making it possible for us to meet. But I don't want to meet him for the first time and say good bye. I want to be able to say see you again next time.
I'm now rethinking if I'm going or I should not. I don't want to cry .... and say good bye...
11 people like this
9 responses
@vickyrose (2235)
• Cooma, Australia
12 Feb 17
@diosabella It's OK to cry. I'm sure that you will make him happy if he learns how much he means to you. Spend time with him and you will cherish this time in your life.
2 people like this
@diosabella (4789)
•
12 Feb 17
@vickyrose I always cherish him. He's always in my prayers. I always toll him I love him but had to stop saying that for the last few years because his girlfriends gets jealous. Just a few people understand that our bond is not romantic in any way.
2 people like this
@diosabella (4789)
•
12 Feb 17
I have to put myself together. I actually don't want to cry if I ever see him. I have to put a brave face and control not to break down. I have to do this and I have to believe that I can do this. 
3 people like this
@TheHorse (220068)
• Walnut Creek, California
12 Feb 17
@diosabella Sometimes those are the best bonds.
1 person likes this
@diosabella (4789)
•
12 Feb 17
@TheHorse Yes it is. That's why its hard for me to accept. We haven't meet but I know that he's just always there as I am I to him. I'm excited to see my little brother. He has a 2 year old son.
We haven't meet but I know that he's just always there as I am I to him. I'm excited to see my little brother. He has a 2 year old son.@diosabella (4789)
•
12 Feb 17
I will visit him. I have to practice not to break down but just cry a little. I have no reason not to. Its just so hard. Our bond was never romantic. More like best friend and family that other people can never understand.
1 person likes this
@prinzcy (32305)
• Malaysia
11 Feb 17
@diosabella it's okay to cry. Of course he will be sad but if it were me, I will be touched to know that my friend care that much.
@diosabella (4789)
•
11 Feb 17
@prinzcy Thank you. I really don't know what to say to him. Or how I will control the tears. He said no more crying and that everything will come to an end. But still hard to accept. He's been telling me for years that he's ready. And I always tell him that he's not gonna die yet. But now it feels that its really coming.
1 person likes this
@diosabella (4789)
•
11 Feb 17
You know, his life should have ended at age 30. The doctor said if he passed that it will be really painful for him. He's 38 now. But still. He's young. And I feel that I won't able to stop myself from crying. And he will be sad even more.
@shaqziad1610 (506)
• Malaysia
24 Mar 17
Pick which decision that you will regret less. Will you regret going to meet him more, or will you regret not going more.
1 person likes this
@shaqziad1610 (506)
• Malaysia
24 Mar 17
@diosabella That is good to hear. Lets hope his condition improve. If you ever decide to meet him, I pray you can be as casual as you can be, and be strong, for both you and him 
.
.1 person likes this
@diosabella (4789)
•
24 Mar 17
Yesterday we chat for 30 mins. I'm just glad that he is doing okay. He even joke that if I dont give him his gift he will haunt me not to feel asleep ever. 
@diosabella (4789)
•
25 Mar 17
@shaqziad1610 He's better but the cancer still there. But after so many negative comments that he will die... he's still alive until now.
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
13 Feb 17
If I may ask, Ms.Sasha, is your after still around? I think you're looking up to your friend as your father figure.
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
13 Feb 17
@diosabella Ah okay. Thanks Ms. Sasha! I hope your friend gets over his ailment. Miracles do happen.
@diosabella (4789)
•
13 Feb 17
My dad is still around. I mean my real dad and he's the sweetest.I'm not looking for a father figure. It just happened that when we first been friends he was always strict and he came from the seminary. But he never pursued it. He's more like a big brother I never had.
1 person likes this
@diosabella (4789)
•
25 Jun 17
Oh my friend is okay. He recovered. He still not home and yes he still have stage 4 cancer. But atleast he's up and about.
1 person likes this
@diosabella (4789)
•
26 Jun 17
@1hopefulman Yes. I hope he gets to enjoy life more. And I'm glad he's not lying on bed, and us all wondering if he's gonna be okay.
1 person likes this
@vickyrose (2235)
• Cooma, Australia
12 Feb 17
I think that you should go and see him, you might be the miracle that will prolong his life.....
1 person likes this
@diosabella (4789)
•
12 Feb 17
I hope so. I said I was mad at him for not telling me first. I told him that I'm his unofficial daughter and that we are family. And I'm not accepting it and I'm not giving up no matter what his real relatives were saying. In the years that he was sick I never gave up on him even now. I told him before there were so many times that his days was numbered but still he lives. And this is gonna be just the same. And he just cried.
@diosabella (4789)
•
11 Feb 17
But I don't know if I can do a straight face and not cry. Crying will not help but I'm already a cry baby so how can I do that?
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
11 Feb 17
@diosabella
It's okay to cry you know. If he is important to you then why not show him your weakness.
@diosabella (4789)
•
12 Feb 17
@JustBhem I already cried and he knows it. He told me not to cry and that it is time. If I cry I know he will cry too. Just like when he was in pain and he will cry, I always put up brave words but he knows I'm crying with him.
1 person likes this
