He Finally Let Me Play

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Good afternoon. How is everyone today? Mini and I have just been to see Mini's best friend because it's her birthday. We took her a card and some presents, which she seemed to like. Mini chose the presents himself. Other than that, we've not done a lot today. It's day one of a school holiday, and I also happen to not be working today either. I'll have visitors later, though, and I'll be making dinner for Mini, D, and myself. Well, that's the small talk for today. To the point of the title: I've been with D for a little over 2 and a half years. At the beginning of the relationship, I discovered that he enjoyed playing board games (which I also like) and he also did roleplay (which I'd always wanted to do but never had anyone to do it with). Well, D said I'd have to come and join his roleplay group. Well, that never happened and he doesn't do it any more. There was also a board game he played regularly. The first time I happened to be there while he was playing, he said he'd have to show me how to play some time (although I don't know why he assumed I didn't know how to play already). Well, there was more to it than merely wanting to play the games (of course, I did want to play) and I explained this to D. He kept saying I could play and then I couldn't. He'd come up with reasons why I couldn't. Some made no sense at all, others would have made sense had he not already said something different. Anyway, one of the reasons he gave for not letting me play was that he didn't want to teach a new person. He kept telling me how complicated the game was (even though his friends said it was merely similar to another game I like but with more rules). So, a few times, I'd get upset about him not including me in his games (as I said, it was more than simply playing the games but that's another story. I'm just pointing out that it wasn't just a childish 'I want to play and he won't let me' sort of thing). I believed that D understood why it was important to me. Apparently, he didn't. Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I reminded him about saying I could join him, that he wanted me to, etc. only to come up with excuses whenever I mentioned it. He said he didn't even remember saying anything about not wanting to teach a new person to play and he couldn't think why he would have said it. He still came up with excuses for excuses but, as I pointed out to him, if he'd actually wanted to include me, he'd had plenty of opportunity to do so. Well, he then said that I could come and watch (which was fine) and then I'd be able to play another time. This came at a time when, after being free all the times he'd not let me join, I'd actually started to do something which meant I was busy that day. He then complained because I didn't turn up when he was waiting for me. I'm not sure how I was supposed to know that he had been waiting for me considering that he'd told me he wouldn't be playing that particular day but also that he had never actually told me what time to come over. Apparently, he thought I knew. Why he thought that, I don't know. Well, the week after, he actually told me that they would be playing and I could come and watch. So I did. Well, I turned up expecting to watch him and two friends but one friend didn't make it so I played. The game was nowhere near as complicated as D had made out. I find it odd that he keeps telling me how clever he thinks I am but then he thinks I'll find a board game difficult, and he always seems surprised when I'm good at something (like Chess, for example. I'm not great at it but I did beat him. He beat me a few times and I only beat him once. I was just a little offended that he always seems surprised that I'm good at such things. I mean, why would I not be? :P ) So, I played. We didn't have time to play a complete game but I did enjoy playing. I still don't know why it took D over 2 years to actually let me play, or why it seemed necessary for me to get upset for him to realise that it mattered, especially when previous partners of his were included and I felt I had to practically beg for the same chance. I am glad that he let me play, though.but I am confused over the reasons he gave for not letting me play sooner. I had begun wondering what the point was of having things in common (which D always says is something good about our relationship) if the only thing we ever actually do together is watch TV. Now my next task is getting him to make an effort with his daughters and granddaughters. If he can finally understand why being included is important to me, I'm sure he can understand why getting to know his girls matters so much! I did think that, if D put as much effort into his relationship with his girls as he puts in making excuses for not doing things, they wouldn't still be strangers to me after so long. Saying that, his daughters are adults and the effort should work both ways (but, of course, I don't know what their mother has led them to believe). Anyway, that's another story. As I said, I still don't know why it took so long or why he spent so long coming up with excuses but it seems D thought I wasn't clever enough to play his game but it was nowhere near as difficult as he seemed to think I would find it. So, to make this into some kind of discussion: Is there something you would really like to do? Have you been so close to something but then not been able to do it? Like having a friend or partner who does something you'd love but you can't join them. Do you enjoy board games or other hobbies but, perhaps, don't have anyone to do them with or don't have the same free time as others? Is it import to share interests with partners? For me, I don't think we need to share everything with each other (eg. I don't expect him to come to pub quizzes because he doesn't enjoy them) but it doesn't make a lot of sense to me to be with someone because you have things in common and then choose not to share in those things together.