What would you do if this happens to you?
By Slayer08
@slayer08 (2377)
Philippines
February 21, 2017 10:32pm CST
I have 3 best girl friends since elementary days. We were so close, we share even our most intimate secrets. Then I moved out of town to pursue a career and start a family. I haven't visited my hometown for more than a year, but I've been in constant communications with all 3 of them.
Then a few months back (last year), they've all invited me to come home for a couple of days to meet up with them since one of my friends had a baby. I couldn't go because there was a personal matter my partner and I needed to attend to so I asked them nicely if I could simply go back some other time. None of them complained, at first.
Then, I just noticed, I couldn't send facebook messages to them and it seems that I was blocked from their accounts. I felt sad since that's the only way I can constantly communicate with them and them blocking me from their friend list was a very immature thing to do. Only to find out that they're all angry at me for not showing up even if I have already explained myself that I really couldn't go.
My partner told me to let it slide for now and maybe the girls will come to their senses. I hope so, I miss them.
4 people like this
9 responses
@CookieMonster46 (13454)
• United States
22 Feb 17
They probably see each other all the time and you being away they don't see you . Not coming hurt feelings,like you didn't want to be there. Even though you told them you couldn't come, they still were upset from the sound of things. Not much you can do about friends blocking you it happens. You only communicate on fb? call them and see if the friendship can be repaired.
I had a good friend that to got married, she didn't stay in contact with her friends, her husband always comes first.. Years later and I mean years, she misses having friends and tried to connect with us, but the problem here is this, it has been too long and she missed out on so much and pretty much cut us off, never could make time and never showed up when invited. I kind of just am over the friendship, it just fizzled, and sadly can't be repaired. Life happens, people move and things happen.
1 person likes this
@CookieMonster46 (13454)
• United States
22 Feb 17
@slayer08 I hope you are able to work it out, some day you may need your friends. I know it is hard with your own family and all, but balance is always good, friends we all need them.
1 person likes this
@slayer08 (2377)
• Philippines
22 Feb 17
I don't have their mobile numbers anymore - long story. I tried reaching out to them through their families but still nothing. In my mind, I didn't simply abandon anyone so I don't think I deserve to be treated this way. I've kept in touch all those years and it's not like I've missed every single opportunity. It's just difficult maybe it will be repaired maybe not, but I'm trying to move on from it.
1 person likes this
@slayer08 (2377)
• Philippines
4 Mar 17
@CookieMonster46 maybe. But they're not the only friends i have
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
28 Feb 17
Unfortunately anymore people sometimes expect people to jump if they need something, and then if you don't will block you talk bad about you, etc. Don't let it bother you. You don't live there anymore and if they choose to continue to want to be like this, it is their loss not yours.
1 person likes this
@josie_ (10032)
• Philippines
22 Feb 17
It is unfortunate that they felt that way. There might have been some envy which cause your childhood friends to react the way they did. You manage to move to the big city and pursue a better life. They on the other hand stayed behind and I'm guessing raising a family ended any career aspiration they had. In their way of thinking, "Ang yabang mo na" (You have become boastful and proud)
1 person likes this
@slayer08 (2377)
• Philippines
22 Feb 17
they actually have better lives than I do. Although they've stayed in our hometown with families of their own, they're doing pretty great. I have to struggle to get to where I am now and it still saddens me to think about what they did, although it is just facebook, it still cuts deep cause that's our way of communicating to each other. Now, we got nothing. So, the misunderstanding's just getting bigger and bigger.
1 person likes this
@slayer08 (2377)
• Philippines
8 Mar 17
@josie_ I agree with what you are saying. To be honest, what they did was uncalled for. It was deliberate and really offensive. And to think I've been friends with them for the longest time. I couldn't understand why, for some reason, they have to do what they did. Is it just because I am away and it would be easy? Anyway, it's just one of those rants that I really need to let out my system.
1 person likes this
@josie_ (10032)
• Philippines
22 Feb 17
@slayer08 _ Then it is they who have become "mayabang" since they didn't take your situation into consideration. You should take your partner's advice but personally I'll move on and look for other friends. This might seem inappropriate given your feelings for them But for me true friendship can be define with this quote,"Real friends don't get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive." This is a measure of how strong the relationship is.
1 person likes this
@Slayqueen (918)
• India
24 Feb 17
If I was in your place, I would call them and ask what's wrong. If they're really your best friends they wouldn't do such thing.
1 person likes this
@tarannum (32)
•
25 Feb 17
Your partner is right, give it some time, though it would be difficult for you. Because time is the best medicine and makes us forget even the toughest part of our life and we tend to become normal forgetting the incident.
You can try to keep yourself busy by engaging in some activities and hopefully your friends will realize and start missing you and will end up messaging you and if not so...you only can try after few days/week contacting them and explaining once again, they may have unblocked you by then.
1 person likes this
@luisadannointed (6308)
• Philippines
22 Feb 17
There is nothing you can do with them but to wait. I hope they do understand that you also have a private life that you prioritize more. God bless.
1 person likes this
@Broman84 (2)
•
22 Feb 17
It seems like all 3 have had a good little tea party and decided to throw their toys out the pram, all you can do is get on with your life, continue to be happy and let them calm down and contact you.. they have no right to be angry real friends stick by each other no matter what. How would they react if you had done this to them, if the shoe was on the other foot? Like i said, take care of yourself first and let life happen. I am sure they will realize their mistakes in time.
1 person likes this
