Researchers Discover New Human Ancestor, Recessive Gene

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After years of exhaustive research, paleo-anthropologists have identified a new human ancestor that appears to have passed on its genes to certain children in middle school. This gene appears to control the level of energy and enthusiasm tweens and teens bring to their educational pursuits during grades 6, 7, and 8. Researchers have named this gene, the Lakawannado Gene, for the group of ancient humans in whom it is believed to have evolved, the Lakawannado Clan. The Lakawannado Gene is not always activated in children of this age group. Gene activation seems to be more prevalent among children raised to believe they should get something for nothing. There are, however, recorded instances of the Lakawannado Gene being activated in children from groups in which activation isn’t normally noted, when those children have been in prolonged contact with children who suffer from what child psychology researchers are calling Lakawannado Syndrome. Indicators that the Lakawannado Gene has been activated in a child include: not caring about grades, not turning in work, not doing homework, not paying attention in class, not following instructions, and other similar behaviors. Researchers are now engaged in an in-depth follow-on study to determine if the Lakawannado Gene in children evolves into the Cantoldajob Gene in adults. If you know a middle school child who might be suffering from Lakawannado Syndrome, or an adult who may show signs of expressing the Cantoldajob Gene, please contact 888-MADETHISUP immediately.