Skip the Light Fandango- You Know You Don't Do This Enough

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You once did it with reckless abandon. You jumped through the puddles, splashing away, covering your white rental miniature tuxedo with glaring globs of mud after being forced to be the ring bearer at some horrendous wedding where the adults, who chose to skip the light fandango (after some liquid motivation) by doing- egads- the hokey pokey. There was a time you would actually, truly and really dance as though nobody was watching. Sure, it was out of spite because people who once said anyone can dance decided you can't no matter how hard you tried. Come on, wasn't there a time you acted like a nut just for the fun of it? Who recalls the silly King Kong ride they had at Universal Studios and acting out in horror, making it as though that enormous simian would pull you from the ride and rend you limb from limb? For the love of Pete, it couldn't have been just me. Come on and admit it just a little. It feels good, I promise. While the term, Skip the Light Fandango, was originally made up for song, Whiter Shade of Pale performed by Procol Harem, which was a twist on the actual dance Trip the Light Fantastic, the term has long since become synonymous with letting your hair down, cutting loose, being fun and fancy free. Even today, if someone asks me how I'm doing, I reply with, "I'm skipping the Light Fandango." I could be like everyone else and say I'm living the dream or doin' okay, but I like to seem more interesting than I really am. It soothes the hurt I still feel when I recall how most of the pretty girls didn't like me even when I looked my best around the age of thirty. I'm getting through this, so getting too concerned is unnecessary. But don't you desire to Skip the Light Fandango when you enter an All-U-Can-Eat Chinese Buffet? Man, I can hardly stand myself when I see row after row of various rices, chow mein, hot and sour soup, and piles of General Tso's Chicken. Not your thing? How about a pizza buffet? What is the deal with you guys? Everyone hear got a geekfest for super scrawny or something? Seriously, there must be something calling you to skip your personal light fandango, simply because it sounds like fun just by saying it. Come on and try it with me. Say it out loud now... Skip the Light Fandango! See? It's like saying Isabella Rossellini, who you knew just had to be gloriously beautiful and glamorous with a name like that. My friends and fellow lovers of top shelf tequila, you know full well there are times when you need to let off the steam one way or another. I recommend you do this in a way that doesn't end up on a 'World's Dumbest' episode, so do so by skipping the light fandango. You know you've struck a new low when you're mocked by Danny Bonaduce. But hey, I bet ya HE knows how to skip the light fandango!