My Engagement Party!
By Michelle
@infatuatedbby (94914)
United States
March 10, 2017 2:24pm CST
This past weekend, I got engaged - it was a nice & intimate party with just both sides of our immediate families! 
We had a traditional Vietnamese ceremony with a few adjustments.
Going to try to give a small overview without making this post long...
The groom & his family has to arrive by noon. Upon arriving, they lined up and carried red traditional tin baskets with a cloth covering followed by the whole roasted pig. When they get to my house, our parents' greet each other then his parents' will ask permission for their son to engage with me and once accepted, they bring in the gift offerings.
What is in the gift offerings?
- Hennessy
- Tea
- Fruits
- Sticky Rice
- Cakes
- Roasted Pig
Then, both families introduce each other and while everything is happening, I am just sitting in my room waiting to be called out to join the party.
Once, I join the party - his mother showers me with a beautiful diamond necklace. Then, my fiancé and I exchange our rings and we take a million & one photos.
Afterwards, we enjoy a delicious lunch with the roasted pig and woven rice vermicelli, egg rolls, and vegetables. For dessert, we had sticky rice, cheesecake and fruit.
How is a typical engagement party in your culture?
We had a traditional Vietnamese ceremony with a few adjustments.
Going to try to give a small overview without making this post long...
The groom & his family has to arrive by noon. Upon arriving, they lined up and carried red traditional tin baskets with a cloth covering followed by the whole roasted pig. When they get to my house, our parents' greet each other then his parents' will ask permission for their son to engage with me and once accepted, they bring in the gift offerings.
What is in the gift offerings?
- Hennessy
- Tea
- Fruits
- Sticky Rice
- Cakes
- Roasted Pig
Then, both families introduce each other and while everything is happening, I am just sitting in my room waiting to be called out to join the party.
Once, I join the party - his mother showers me with a beautiful diamond necklace. Then, my fiancé and I exchange our rings and we take a million & one photos.
Afterwards, we enjoy a delicious lunch with the roasted pig and woven rice vermicelli, egg rolls, and vegetables. For dessert, we had sticky rice, cheesecake and fruit.
How is a typical engagement party in your culture?50 people like this
59 responses
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
10 Mar 17
Is it common to have engagement parties there?
3 people like this
@Lucky15 (37374)
• Philippines
10 Mar 17
@infatuatedbby i think, not really, or..haha
and congrats!!
3 people like this
@teamfreak16 (43418)
• Denver, Colorado
11 Mar 17
Sounds pretty interesting. I once proposed to my ex-girlfriend over a shot of Tuaca. I'm sure the engagement party would have been similarly drunken revelry. 
5 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
Hehe.
Any plans on proposing to your current girlfriend? 
3 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
@teamfreak16 Simple and nice! I like simple, if only I can persuade my dad that.
3 people like this
@teamfreak16 (43418)
• Denver, Colorado
11 Mar 17
@infatuatedbby - We've talked about it. It'll be a Justice of the Peace thing if we do.
3 people like this
@much2say (55669)
• Los Angeles, California
10 Mar 17
That's so neat! I remember you had been planning for it . . . congratulations on your traditionally official engagement!
Well, without looking it up, I don't know if there's a Japanese tradition - at least I don't know of any family tradition for it (none of my cousins did that, and my parents never said anything).
We've actually only been to 1 engagement party - this was for a Thai/Chinese couple. There was nothing traditional about it as far I remember (though the wedding itself was) . . . it was at Denny's. I am serious . . . half the restaurant was closed off for the party. It helped that the bride's parents owned that Denny's 
.5 people like this
@much2say (55669)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Mar 17
@infatuatedbby Clothes for everyone too - wow, sounds just as big and ceremonial as a wedding! Did you have a professional photographer/videographer for the moment too?
Yah, the Denny's party was interesting - at least they didn't serve pancakes .
.1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
12 Mar 17
@much2say
Mainly my family was set, I did go shopping with my mom for her dress.
Then since my fiancé's parents moved to another state and traveled to Vietnam then came straight from there to here, they didnt bring clothes for the party. So, I had to go out and buy what they didn't have. I bought her two dresses and turns out she liked both so kept both lol 
. His dad had a suit here, but needed a new tie, button up, belt and shoes, so my fiancé and I went shopping for those.
I nailed it on their sizes! Everything fit seamlessly.
I didn't hire any professional photographer or videography, but had my cousin use old t3i on a tripod for video recording. And use our camera we bought a couple months ago for some photos, canon 80d. My fiancé's sister is interested in photographer, and her set up is expensive and she shot some family photos with her camera.. that was nice of her and I did not even ask. But we didnt get the photos yet.
Oh no pancakes not even for dessert? Was the food off the Denny's menu besides breakfast foods then? 
. His dad had a suit here, but needed a new tie, button up, belt and shoes, so my fiancé and I went shopping for those.
I nailed it on their sizes! Everything fit seamlessly.
I didn't hire any professional photographer or videography, but had my cousin use old t3i on a tripod for video recording. And use our camera we bought a couple months ago for some photos, canon 80d. My fiancé's sister is interested in photographer, and her set up is expensive and she shot some family photos with her camera.. that was nice of her and I did not even ask. But we didnt get the photos yet.
Oh no pancakes not even for dessert? Was the food off the Denny's menu besides breakfast foods then? 2 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
Yes! Our engagement finally happened after all this planning, ordering food, decorating, finding clothes attire for everyone!! Next up wedding (no set date yet).
But wow that is interesting ,Denny's but it make sense since the brides parents' owned that one! Hehe
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
10 Mar 17
Yehey!!! My cutie friend is getting married :) Is that the Chinese engagement tradition? Or does the Vietnamese have one similar to that of the Chinese. I think what's lacking in you enumeration given are pieces of cloth given as gifts to the bride-to-be (as far as I can remember/heard). Also, there's a portion that you serve tea to the parents of the soon-to-be groom and then to your own parents followed by other relatives. Not very sure of these though. Just what I heard from those who know about Chinese engagements.
5 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
Hehe thank you! I have no idea! I am part Chinese too, but the clothes attire is different but I did not wear any of it. I just wore a dress.
Yes, you are supposed to serve tea but we also skipped that, and pray to the family that past (skipped that as well).
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
@sunrisefan Oh I see, that I did not know :)
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
11 Mar 17
@infatuatedbby So I think there are similarities to the Chinese engagement ceremonies called "teng hun".
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
10 Mar 17
Oh I forgot - congratulations, Ms. Michelle! :)
5 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
@sunrisefan Wedding.. mmm sometime next year, no set date.
Yes you are a busy man! :)
1 person likes this
@sunrisefan (28524)
• Philippines
11 Mar 17
@infatuatedbby Had meetings this week and a recollection this morning :) I'm sure you're exctied with you coming wedding though it's still months away :)
1 person likes this
@TheInvisibleMan (17597)
•
10 Mar 17
@infatuatedbby The table is beautiful by the way. Very tasty.
3 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
10 Mar 17
@TheInvisibleMan Hehe yes the food was tasty! 
It was a lot of food he-he!
It was a lot of food he-he!3 people like this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
10 Mar 17
That sounds like a wonderful party! I don't think very many people here in the U.S. have engagement parties except the wealthy and I think even they are doing it less. It's the wedding that's the big thing here.
I like the idea of engagement parties, though. It is certainly a wonderful thing to celebrate! How long will you be engaged before you are married?
5 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
I am also from the United States, but my parents well, my dad wants culture still involved.
We plan on getting married some time next year but we have not set a date yet. :)
3 people like this
@Juliaacv (51019)
• Canada
10 Mar 17
Congratulations to you both!
When will your wedding bells ring?
Here we usually have whatever the families and engaged couple are comfortable with.
Our son asked his future mother-in-law and her parents (he travelled from Canada to Poland to do this) for her hand in marriage. And several months later he got down on 1 knee on their favorite beach and took her hand and slipped the ring on her finger and asked her. It was beautiful as the sun was starting to set, but still light enough to see her ring. They will wed this year.
5 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
Thank you kindly!
We have not set a date yet, but sometime next year.
For our engagement it was just 13 people (both sides of the family only) but afterward, we delivered food to every family nearby!
That is very romantic. Congratulations to your son! You must be very excited!!
1 person likes this
@Beatburn (4286)
• Philippines
11 Mar 17
@infatuatedbby And good luck on the wedding as well.
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
10 Mar 17
Congrats - when is the wedding? I'm sure you have it all planned out already!
4 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
No set date yet, maybe next year!!
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
10 Mar 17
Congratulations so happy for you and your fiance. Sounds really beautiful.I love traditions that are passed on down through the generations. We do nothing like that here. I wish you a lifetime of love and happiness.
5 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
Thank you so much! My dad made my sister and I do a traditional engagement. It is nice but so many strict rules. 
My dad made my sister and I do a traditional engagement. It is nice but so many strict rules. 1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
11 Mar 17
@infatuatedbby yes I can see that but it is good to keep things traditional.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
10 Mar 17
That sounds beautiful! And congratulations by the way! Do you have a wedding date yet? Here it's all different - some couples have an engagement party, some don't.
5 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
Thank you!
I am also from the States, but my dad insisted we have a cultural engagement party. No set date but sometime next year!!
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
10 Mar 17
I have been there and done that many years ago. But back then I did not know what I know now. And I wish I did, because I never would have gotten married. Don't make that bother you. I married the wrong woman. I should have married the right woman. Things do happen in life. But you enjoy your time and up coming marriage. Not all marriages are bad. I guess I have a sour taste from mine.
3 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
I am sorry to hear that! There is the right woman still out there for you!!
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
14 Mar 17
@inertia4 Oh wow! That is incredible! Happiness to the both of you
Happiness to the both of you1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
14 Mar 17
@infatuatedbby Yes there is and I am with her. I found her after 25 years. it is very amazing how life works. I knew this woman for many years. Lost touch and the we found each other again. Serendipity I guess.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
11 Mar 17
I never had an engagement party, then again I didn't really have a wedding either. Lol. We had a small ceremony with 8 family members at our wedding at a small church. We couldn't afford anything else. I have wanted to renew our vows for years now but with kids it will have to wait.
3 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
I want a small wedding, but my dad won't allow me to. I did have a small engagement party with just 13 people, however afterwards I had to go deliver food to all the family member anyway.
I hope you get to renew your vows in the future
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
12 Mar 17
Thank you!!
I haven't gotten all the pictures yet I will maybe post a picture of the back of our heads LOL!
I will maybe post a picture of the back of our heads LOL!1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
12 Mar 17
@sishy7 Hahah hey how do you know?
Haha yes we had an engaged sign hung and my brother in law took some of us under it with our heads turned!
Haha yes we had an engaged sign hung and my brother in law took some of us under it with our heads turned!1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27167)
• Australia
12 Mar 17
@infatuatedbby You have that too? 
Who would take a picture of the back of people's head at an engagement party? I know your boyfriend took one of the back of your head before - but that one was at least when you were sitting on a bench looking at the beach... 
Who would take a picture of the back of people's head at an engagement party? I know your boyfriend took one of the back of your head before - but that one was at least when you were sitting on a bench looking at the beach... 1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
11 Mar 17
the red box looks similar to tikoy (wikipedia says nian gao/nin gou) which is abundant during chinese new year. who will drink the hennessy?
3 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
12 Mar 17
The red box on the left? It is actually a wedding cake in form of bakery. The Hennessy is just a nice offering. We didnt open it.
1 person likes this
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
11 Mar 17
Congratulations.It was nice knowing all about the ceremony.
Its a whole lot of rituals here too but it is fun as it keeps our local culture alive.
Wish you both a very happy future together. When is the wedding?
3 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
11 Mar 17
Thank you!! I am glad you enjoyed reading my post.
I am unsure of the wedding date, but sometime next year!
2 people like this
