Working with a depressed child

@TheHorse (214031)
Walnut Creek, California
April 5, 2017 2:44pm CST
One of my new child clients is currently suffering from anxiety and depression. I worked with him three years ago, and he became one of my all-time favorites because he was so smart and funny. But he was also given to cursing, falling out in public places, and saying inappropriate things to people. He had made great progress when we terminated after a year, but he was still homeless (living with his mom and two siblings in various shelters) and vulnerable. His family requested me when he was referred to us by his school a few months ago, and I've seen him four times now. His behavior is much calmer than it was, and he still enjoys playing catch, hiking, etc., but he rarely smiles and just seems beaten down. I'm hoping that his "affect" will improve as we re-establish our relationship, get back into longer hikes, etc. Have you had experience with childhood depression? My client is 12 now, and I'm hoping I can help him.
19 people like this
25 responses
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
5 Apr 17
I don't think I have had such experience with any of my students. I did have a student who attempted to slit his wrist but he left school after that. So never saw him again.
3 people like this
• Banks, Oregon
5 Apr 17
So sad
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
Sad that you could not follow up on this child.
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
6 Apr 17
@TheHorse I came to know about him after a few months. He was a year junior to my youngest brother so they knew each other and were friends. He was doing fine. Thank goodness!
1 person likes this
@amadeo (111940)
• United States
5 Apr 17
That is pretty tough there.I assumed that he is on some sort of medication? I have not.Not sure how to handle this. I know that you will be able to handle him.How about music.does he like music.You playing has he been expose to it. I hear music does wonder.What every you do.I am sure you will find an answer.I like to hear more on this.Once you get going. I am interest in this.Mike worked with children.This was not his job but they were short staff and ask him. I am aware of what is going on.Good luck.Keep us inform.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
5 Apr 17
Will do. Thanks for your interest! I use music with many kid, but this particular child is more into reading. We do discuss ideas a lot. But he's been a bit quiet this time around.
@dodo19 (47268)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
6 Apr 17
Definitely not an easy situation. It's sad when kids that young must deal with anxiety and depression. I hope that you are able to help him and things get easier for this boy and his family.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47268)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
6 Apr 17
@TheHorse It's a shame that his home situation may not change. It can't be easy to see him hurting. It's always good that there are people like you to help them.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
Thank you. I think I'll be able to help him over time, but I'm sad to see him hurting. And I don't see his home situation changing.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
@dodo19 I enjoy the work. But sometimes I get to an emotional saturation point and just want to take a break.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
5 Apr 17
I hope you are able to help this young man. My adopted daughter suffered from depression and other issues but she never cooperated or opened up to any therapist. She was already eight when she came to us and had been molested by her birth father and put into foster care by the county when her mother was obviously too spaced out to care for the children and often had violent boyfriends in the home. No one was ever able to help her because she wanted to control and manipulate everyone and could not receive love because she didn't trust anyone. In the end she shot herself when she was 34 and we hadn't seen her for 12 years.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Apr 17
@TheHorse There were times she actually did enjoy life and have fun. We took a lot of family vacations that she and her brother both enjoyed. She also liked cooking and painting walls. She had many talents. I saw her laugh many times during her time with us. I'd adopt the children again if I had it to do over.
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
She survived? What do you think could have helped her? I'm sure you did the best you could.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Apr 17
@bagarad That is a sad life story, though I'm glad she had some support during her time here.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
6 Apr 17
I dont think I had chronic depression as a kid, but that seems hard, so much is outside of his control
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
6 Apr 17
@TheHorse maybe something that is in his control? not sure how you could arrange that
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
7 Apr 17
@Jessicalynnt Today, we hiked in the rain at Black Diamond Mines. I let home make most the decisions. It was a good day. He finally opened up.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
Exactly, and it's when one feels "out of control" that one is more at risk for anxiety issues.
1 person likes this
@dhoyalahoy (1414)
• Philippines
6 Apr 17
Nope. But the temporary remedy is show love and affection.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
Love and affection (and good listening) go a long way.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
@dhoyalahoy I hugged this kid goodbye when I saw him the other day. He may have been embarrassed, but I don't care.
• Philippines
6 Apr 17
@TheHorse correct. Maybe words can't be understood but touch and action are powerful to resist
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Apr 17
Oh that is so sad. =( I hope you can help him find some happiness again. A child not smiling is heart breaking.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Apr 17
@TheHorse Oh that's so nice that you could make his day! =)
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
5 Apr 17
I agree. Seeing children be happy keeps me going. One of my kids last week (his dad is in prison for life for murder) said "This is the best day of my life!" after we hiked at Black Diamond Mines. Sometimes it doesn't take that much--just shared positive experiences.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
@LovingMyBabies A little bit of positive attention really can go a long way sometimes.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 17
I don't know any kids...well, some adults act like kids but that's a different story.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 17
@TheHorse I'm sure you do, we all do, but don't like to bring it up in public.
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
Oh, I know a lot of those.
@kevinakash (2084)
• Sri Lanka
24 Apr 17
actually i haven't any that is suffering from deppression
1 person likes this
• Sri Lanka
24 Apr 17
@TheHorse oh really thnks for the information
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Apr 17
They are out there. About 10% of the population suffers from some kind of depressive disorder.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (334404)
• Rockingham, Australia
6 Apr 17
Poor kid. That is very young to have these sorts of problems but they seem to be more and more common lately.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
I wish her mom would stop having babies on focus on the kids she already has. The three I know are really sweet, each in their own ways.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (334404)
• Rockingham, Australia
6 Apr 17
@TheHorse You'd think they get into some form of birth control wouldn't you?
@Courtlynn (67094)
• United States
6 Apr 17
Yes, with myself having it at 15. Still have it today and always will.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
What are the most effective coping strategies?
@Courtlynn (67094)
• United States
6 Apr 17
@TheHorse talking. Doing a hobby you love.
• Banks, Oregon
5 Apr 17
As a child whom suffered severe depression school counseling really helped me stay sane Mrs. Fields Mrs. Stilskin and Mrs. o'Harrow are partly responsible for shaping me in my younger years they taught me it was on to express how I felt I always wonder if they knew I was gay.... Mrs O'Harrows daughter ended up being a lesbian and for whatever reason she had a hard relationship with her mom I never understood why as she was so caring and sweet.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
I think having some supportive adults is really helpful. Are you happier now?
1 person likes this
• Banks, Oregon
6 Apr 17
@TheHorse no but that is also because I don't have a counselor I really need one
@teamfreak16 (43419)
• Denver, Colorado
5 Apr 17
I am a Bipolar with severe depression and anxiety. Even as a kid. So I have a bit of experience. Not fun.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
I understand. What do you find to be the best ways to self-soothe? Now and in your younger days? I hate feeling "out of control."
1 person likes this
@diosabella (4789)
6 Apr 17
I hope you can help him, when he gets to be a teen it will be harder for him to get better I think. I hope his family gets a home soon too. It will help him a lot.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
I agree. But they've been homeless the whole time I've known them. They went from a (really nasty) shelter to her dad's house to I don't know where to a motel.
6 Apr 17
@TheHorse Just some people have it bad. poor kid. But I know you will do everything you can to make him better!
7 Apr 17
@computerguy1980 Maybe in time the govt can have a good resolution for homelessness,.
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
5 Apr 17
I have known some children who were depressed but I was a depressed child, too. Back then, they said I was "sensitive" and cried easily. I tried to kill myself when I was 12 because kids teased me so much. Don't feel too bad about me, though, because it helped so much when my own kids started going through the gauntlet of school bullies. They didn't suffer as I did but a lot of their friends were depressed and in bad family situations. I was able to help them a little, too, because I knew how it felt. I hope you can help that child. He seems to have made some progress and I'm sure you will be able to augment that. Who wouldn't be depressed in his situation?! You know, everyone says kids are so resilient (usually as a justification of parents' behaviors) but I think kids are more vulnerable than society as a rule is willing to admit--it might make them feel more effort is needed with kids.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Apr 17
I have not had any experience with a depressed child b ut I do feele for him if I an elderly woman of 83 coud feel like the end of my world and be really depressed as we ended u p homeless after eviction and we spent a week in salvation army hospitality house then how much worse for a young boy of twelve we need ti provide real housing sing for people like him and his family my son got us out of there but others may not have any idea of how to get help
1 person likes this
@MandaLee (3759)
• United States
6 Apr 17
@TheHorse No, I have not. What about doing play therapy with him?
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
Oh, play therapy is a part of our routine.
@Beatburn (4286)
• Philippines
5 Apr 17
Bless you for helping kids. If they overcome such difficulties, they'll be better and well-adjusted adults.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
5 Apr 17
This kids has the smarts to do well, if he can make it through these difficult early years without falling under the spell of the wrong influences.
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
6 Apr 17
Poor kid. I can understand under his circumstances why he would feel like he does. Besides doing things together, has their been any conversation about what he thinks and feels? He's old enough to relay his feelings about things. Maybe he feels hopeless about the families situation; like he's the man of the house but can't do anything. There's no hope of stability in his way of thinking. Just a thought @TheHorse .
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
6 Apr 17
We discuss thoughts and feelings. But he's been more quiet over our first few visits than he used to be when I worked with him before. I'll open the door to discussion and let him determine the pace of disclosure.
1 person likes this
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
5 Apr 17
Has his family's living situation improved at all? That may have something to do with the depression.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (214031)
• Walnut Creek, California
5 Apr 17
I agree. And so does my clinical supervisor. No it has nt improved in the years I've known him. His mom DOES work at bit, at the local Dollar Store. But she has another baby now, with the (also homeless) father of my client's younger siblings.