This has been on my mind for quite a while...
By royanne
@royanne (372)
Philippines
April 7, 2017 3:40am CST
I have been wondering how people accept. Let's say you are married and then you found that that your husband/wife cheated on you with another person. How do people get through all that pain? Like here in our country we don't have divorce and people have to live through all that. How would you accept the other person? I have witnessed a lot of situations where in the other party forgives the other person for the sake of the family or the kids but I mean how do you even start to forgive? I admire the people who still has the courage to accept the cheater but then my question would probably where do you start? What to do? I mean it's not easy you see the other person everyday and you are reminded everyday of what they did to you. How do you start learning to trust people again. It's hard. I just don't get it... I don't.
Any opinions? or based on your own experiences on this matter?
4 people like this
10 responses
@dhoyalahoy (1414)
• Philippines
7 Apr 17
It's up to that person of course. We can call them matyr for some reason, but the weights are not on us. We will never understand them unless we experience it. Love is the most powerful weapon however it has a limitation.
If there's a divorce, expect it - everyday lanes are long.
Choices. It's up to us what gonna choose.
1 person likes this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
8 Apr 17
I guess these days we can never really say true love exist. So sad. For me, up until this day I think marriage is not something you can just undo anytime you don't like the person anymore. It's something much more than that.. It's a lifelong commitment. Maybe that's why I'm afraid of marriage because of cases like cheating. I wouldn't know what to do.
1 person likes this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
8 Apr 17
@dhoyalahoy Those men are hard to find these days. I guess. HAHAHA :)
1 person likes this
@dhoyalahoy (1414)
• Philippines
8 Apr 17
@royanne WHHHAAATTTT???? just exaggerating my expression.
There's a lot. Let me ask you, who are your friends. What kind of group are you in?
1 person likes this
@abhinalstrikr (4111)
• India
9 Apr 17
If one does love one really then they have to begin their repair in relationship,bit by bit
1 person likes this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
10 Apr 17
@abhinalstrikr you have a point. it depends on the people involved. :(
1 person likes this
@abhinalstrikr (4111)
• India
10 Apr 17
@royanne this love is so intense and complex for me,even if you devote yourself you may get less than you deserve.its the subject which has no syllabus but indeed has lots of definition.by all the lovers who love
1 person likes this
@Letranknight2015 (52079)
• Philippines
8 Apr 17
I don't know either since I'm single. But I haven't talk to my sibling whom I found out to be cheating our sister in law who's actually been good to us. I know he was a good person but he was somewhat brainwashed or enchanted with love potion or something. It's sad because I don't talk to him anymore but I couldn't tolerate what he did and negligence to his children.
Maybe Divorce should be implemented to this country, annulment is just darn expensive.
1 person likes this
@SagarBath (22)
• Canada
7 Apr 17
Very interesting discussion.
I have never been in a situation like that, but if I were, I would drop that entire situation. Find another place to live, don't make contact with said cheater, etc.
Once someone cheats on their partner, the trust factor is totally lost. In situations where there are kids, I have no idea how that would work.
Basically just stay away from marriage all together
1 person likes this
@SagarBath (22)
• Canada
8 Apr 17
@royanne + marriage is just a money making scheme. If you really love someone, you don't need the government telling you that with a piece of paper and a $5000 wedding. Love is love, you can't put a price on it.
It really is, but don't lose hope. There's an entire planet that you haven't explored. Just like with anything, you will have people who are amazing individuals, but you also have idiots.
Don't let the idiots ruin the good things we have going on in our lives.
1 person likes this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
9 Apr 17
@SagarBath well said. :)
I guess we just have to learn how to be a good judge of character. Maybe if the time comes I will know. People say that you will know once you meet the one. Hopefully I will know. :)
@lokisdad (4226)
• United States
7 Apr 17
First you have to get past the shock if it came as a surprise to you. After let go of your anger because you will be hurt and angry. Time pretty much takes care of the rest. You go on with life and start over with the individual you have to give them the opportunity to earn your trust and respect again and they have to want to change and do it. Only time will tell after that I guess.
Its like when you find out someone has lied to you and you still remain friends after not talking for a few days or so. The difference is the nature of the lie but a lie is a lie just the same. I think its not the actual act of infidelity that ruins lots of relationships but more the betrayal. Your very best friend lying to you keeping a secret.
1 person likes this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
8 Apr 17
That's one way to put it. I think you have a very good point. A lie is a lie nonetheless. If it were me I guess it would really hurt me not just because of the lie but also because of what he did. It would trigger a lot of insecurities in me and probably I would question myself "What's wrong with me?" "Am I not enough?" "What did I do wrong?" things like that. And I wouldn't be able to live like that. And every time I see the person it would remind me all of those insecurities and I wouldn't know where to begin letting go of the anger and hurt.
@ilocosboy (45156)
• Philippines
7 Apr 17
That is love, it's easier than you think. You think you can't forgive, you will because the feeling of love is stronger than the feeling of hatred.
1 person likes this
@JeezeLouise (13)
•
8 Apr 17
I think the term "Blinded by love" is a very real thing. Sometimes you can be so in love with someone that you forgive and put up with a lot more than you should.
If a friend was in a similar situation then you would tell them to leave but when it comes down to actually doing it yourself it is a totally different story.
Also some people are simply scared to be alone.
1 person likes this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
8 Apr 17
I get what you mean... When you are not in the situation yourself you tend to think that it's easy to just leave and move on. It's a whole lot different when you are actually the one experiencing it. I cannot judge the person who cheated since I don't really know what happened on why he cheated and I also cannot say that it is the fault of the one who was cheated on since he/she definitely did not deserve to be treated that way.
