Book Review: "Pet Peeve" by Piers Anthony

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This is the twenty-ninth offering in the Xanth fantasy series by Piers Anthony. It is (as the doomed reader will soon find out) replete with bad puns and juvenile sexuality. Some have gone so far as to accuse Anthony’s of writings of things worse than bad taste. Figuring out one’s unique magical ability is part of growing up in Xanth, which looks a lot like the state of Florida. The odd non-magical person is exiled to Mundania. In this book, Goody Goblin is cursed with politeness. Goblins are, in general, quite abusive. Because of this curse, he is given the Finger, that is, a human finger in a box. When he tries to dispose of it, it reappears. Worse, it pokes and prods him. The only solution is to go see the Good Magician Humpfrey, who can solve nearly every problem. The price is a service. Goody’s service is finding a home for the talking parody, that is, parrot. The bird, also known as (you guessed it) the Pet Peeve, insults anyone around it. He can mimic any voice. To aid him (and to work off her service) is the barbarian, Hannah. Yes. Hannah Barbarian. Together, before they find a home for the irritating Pet Peeve, they have adventures, trigger potentially world-destroying catastrophes, find out why Goody is cursed, and share some nude scenes that are supposed to titillate (I guess) but don’t involve romantic love or sex acts so the kiddies can still read the books. In general, women hold a mysterious power over men. Men “freak out” when they see things like women’s “panties.” Freaking out involves standing in a frozen state until someone, usually another man, wakes them up. In case you need some more samplings of the qualities of the puns: He saw a pile of oddly shaped ocean birds. One was like the letter A, another like the letter B, a third like the letter C, and so on. The looked unhappy, so he paused, always happy help to those who were sad. “Can I help you?” “We are lost gulls,” the A bird said. … “Let’s see—you’re the A-gull,” [Goody] said. “And you’re the B-gull.” Then a bulb flashed. “C-gull!” (pp. 268-269) This is probably best suited for the diehard Xanth fan. There must be a couple of them, as the old boy keeps writing these things. The Xanth books number forty-one—with more coming—according to the author’s website. He himself is eighty-two. _____ Book: Pet Peeve Author: Piers Anthony (b. 1934) Published: 2005 *An earlier version of this review was posted to Examiner May 21, 2015. Someone whose mama didn’t raise them right plagiarized it, word for word, including the title. This is a rewrite of that, plus some extra material. *