Best Joke?????
By solls108
@solls108 (282)
United States
7 responses
@michaelvanx (568)
• Malaysia
13 Dec 06
Actual Questions Asked Of Telephone Information Operators:
C= Caller and O = Operator.
********************************
C: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please.
O: I'm sorry, there's no such listing. Are you sure you have the spelling correct?
C: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.
C: I'd like the number of the Scottish knitwear company in Woven.
O: I can't find a town called 'Woven'? Are you sure?
C: Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.
C: I'd like the RSPCA please.
O: Where are you calling from?
C: The living room
C: The water board please.
O: Which department?
C: Tap water
O: How qre you spelling that?
C: With letters.
C: I'd like the number for a Reverend in Cardiff, please.
O: Do you have his name?
C: No, but he has a dog named Ben.
C: The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please.
O: You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?
C: Er, yes.
On one occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told the worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."
@kosty2007 (197)
• Romania
3 Jan 07
A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
@ricky1209 (1675)
• India
30 Dec 06
Youd better go a little slower - youre doing 70 miles an hour.
Imagine that! And I only learned how to drive yesterday!
@whitematter (501)
• India
29 Dec 06
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!
The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
@brabus13 (59)
• Romania
25 Dec 06
Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't have a clue what I was doing (as cited on the final exam). There were 80 multiple choice questions. For some reason I decided to play the game of probability and choose the letter "A" for everything. In that game, the only thing probable was that I failed.
The following day, the professor asked to see me after class. "Is everything okay?" "Sure," I said, "why? "Well, here's your test," he said and handed me a piece of paper that was covered with red ink. "Can you explain why you chose an 'A' for everything?"
Knowing that there was nothing I could do at this point, I said, "Well, I've always wanted to be an 'A' student."
This will do.Nice joke
