I had the best day ever

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I don't know if I ruined it but I had the best day ever. I had not seen my ex in about 9 years. We were talking on the phone for months now. He came to pick me up and when I got off the elevator he was leaning on the wall waiting for me. He looked exactly like he did in high school. He grabbed me and kissed me like we were never apart. We went to the funeral but I did not go in. I stayed in the hall area. I was not that fine with it. Afterward, I needed more anxiety pills t ride in the car. I never popped so many pills in my life. All I could think about was how sexy he was and how he felt in my arms. Not to mention it's been a long time since anyone kissed me. Would you believe the guy I am with never kisses me? I am so scared for what tomorrow may bring. I was popping anxiety pills and this lady gave me a drink of wine. I was tearing up. I have no idea what happened and now I am home. All I know right now is that I am so happy to have spent the day with my ex. I only hope I did not do anything to make him scared of me. I was messed up.