My Mother is Seriously Ill
@DeborahDiane (40317)
Laguna Woods, California
June 29, 2017 9:30am CST
Some of you may remember that I have posted pictures of my parents, who are in their late 80s, going out dancing and celebrating anniversaries in recent months. My mother has always enjoyed dancing, despite her Alzheimer's.
In recent weeks, however, her health has declined sharply. She has congestive heart failure, her kidneys are failing, and several other organs are compromised. Combined with her acute dementia, doctors have told my father and sister that there is really nothing more they can do for her. They are putting her on hospice. She could live weeks or months.
As a result, my husband and I are going to St. Louis right after the July 4th weekend to spend time with my mother and other relatives. I am not taking my computer with me, as I want to concentrate on family time. Many of my relatives, some of whom I have not seen in years, will be there. As often happens, there will be joy at seeing family and friends, as well as sadness over my mother's health.
Prior to leaving on our trip, one of our daughters and her husband will be arriving here in Southern California tomorrow to visit us for the next five days. They had made their reservations several weeks ago, prior to our decision to go to St. Louis. The next two weeks are going to be full of family and friends.
With so much going on, my computer time will be severely limited until at least the middle of July. I can access my email, MyLot and most other sites on my cell phone, and may respond to comments when I am sitting at airports or otherwise not busy, but I just wanted everyone to know why I may be absent from this site for days at a time.
Real life will be taking up most of my time.
I hope everyone enjoys the next few weeks and I look forward to catching up when life settles down for me again!
27 people like this
28 responses
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
30 Jun 17
@LadyDuck - Thank you. I am looking forward to seeing her and the rest of my family.
3 people like this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
29 Jun 17
't saddened my heart to hear how yer sweet momma's 'tis doin', hon. i will carry all'n my heart. don't fret o'er bein' absent from here, folks'll 'nderstand. family always comes first. please be careful'n yer journeys'n 'njoy the time with yer momma 'n family members. sendin' the biggest hugs!
2 people like this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
30 Jun 17
@DeborahDiane i don't blame ya, ms. d-d with regards to the flyin' with all the weather this time 'f year. but, 'tis most important to put use ones faith 'n make such a trek. i'll be keepin' all'n my heart durin' this most diff'cult time.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
1 Jul 17
@crazyhorseladycx - I agree. I look forward to seeing my family and I just have to trust that the flight will go well.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
30 Jun 17
@crazyhorseladycx - Thank you. I dislike flying to the Midwest during tornado and thunderstorm weather, but I feel it is important that I go soon and not wait.
2 people like this
@marguicha (223720)
• Chile
29 Jun 17
All the best for you. So sorry about your mother, but she has had a long and happy life, as you have told us
2 people like this
@marguicha (223720)
• Chile
30 Jun 17
@DeborahDiane That is the most important thing of all!
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
30 Jun 17
@marguicha - Yes, my mother has had a long and happy life. We have been very fortunate.
1 person likes this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
14 Jul 17
Really sorry to hear about your Mom Deb.,
You be with her all you can and help her.
Thoughts are with you in such a difficult time.
1 person likes this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
15 Jul 17
@DeborahDiane
Its so important that you know I never realized it myself till all of a situation happened to me personally where I was with her an awful lot.
Contact that we never had before.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Jul 17
@lovinangelsinstead21 - I agree. I spent more time with my mother this past week than I have in years. I am glad I went.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Jul 17
@lovingangelsinstead21 - Thank you so much for your kind words. I was glad I was able to see my mother while she could still interact a little bit.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (112962)
• El Paso, Texas
29 Jun 17
I'm so sorry about your mom, it's hard for family when these things happen.
I am glad that your parents lived a long life together and I pray that all of this won't be too hard on your dad. I've got you guys in my prayers but especially your dad.
Your mom probably won't really know what's going on, but like Mrs B, who is only 85 and has Alzheimer's too, she might become agitated with so many people around. Linda has asked her family to refrain from overwhelming Mrs B because it upsets her dad when she gets agitated.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (112962)
• El Paso, Texas
30 Jun 17
I hope all goes really well for all of you.
I doubt you would be a problem but with all the rest of your relatives it could be @DeborahDiane she might not remember them or else she might think they are someone from her past.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
1 Jul 17
@rebelann - Yes, I think she is very confused, so she may not recognize many of the people.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
30 Jun 17
@rebelann - Thank you for your prayers. Yes, this has been hard on my dad and my mother also gets agitated. I will try not to let my visit become too disruptive and upsetting for her.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
29 Jun 17
I am sorry for this heartbreaking time you will have to see your Mother so gravely ill Deobrah.
We will be here when you get back.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
30 Jun 17
@TiarasOceanView - Thank you. I am glad I am able to be with my mother during this time.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
14 Jul 17
@jstory07 - Thank you for your kind words. Yes, our real life families are where we need to concentrate our attention.
@PatZAnthony (14749)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
11 Jul 17
Sorry for all that is ahead for you and your family members. These are never easy times for anyone @Deborah-Diane
It is amazing how your mom still loves to dance!
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (14749)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
14 Jul 17
@DeborahDiane We have watched these things happen with some older friends. People really feel helpless when so much is going wrong that we don't know how to fix.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
12 Jul 17
@PatZAnthony - Thank you Pat. I agree these are not easy times. That photo was just taken a few months ago. Here is another picture which was taken this week. She has declined very rapidly. It is very sad.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Jul 17
@PatZAnthony - You described the feeling well -- helpless. All we could do is take care of her physically. We could not fix her.
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (50606)
• United States
3 Jul 17
So sorry to hear this sad news. I will say a prayer.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
3 Jul 17
@Tampa_girl7 - Thank you for your prayers. They are greatly appreciated.
1 person likes this
@CookieMonster46 (13454)
• United States
30 Jun 17
I am sorry about your mother,it seems everyone in the family is slowing declining in health. I get on the internet to escape for a bit.
1 person likes this
@CookieMonster46 (13454)
• United States
30 Jun 17
@DeborahDiane , Yes, it seems the time spent is less, the time dealing with problems is longer
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
30 Jun 17
@CookieMonster46 - Yes, the internet is a good way to escape from problems.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121663)
• Gainesville, Florida
2 Jul 17
Deborah, so sorry to hear about your mother. I can relate, as many years ago my own grandmother had congestive heart failure and kidney failure, and they too put her in hospice. But in her case, she only had about 10% of her heart still working, so they said she would only last a few days. But my grandmother said she refused to die until she could get her entire family together so she could see them all one last time (everybody was scattered all over the country). It took a couple of weeks to finally get everybody together, and my grandmother held strong that entire time. It's amazing what will power can do, when you put your mind to something. I hope your mother has got that "fight" left in her where she will choose to hang on as long as she can. Of course, if she is in terrible pain, it wouldn't be in her best interests to suffer a long time, so hopefully hospice will help keep her very comfortable. In my experiences with hospice, they do everything they can to make your last moments on earth as pleasant as possible. I will keep your mom in my prayers.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121663)
• Gainesville, Florida
4 Jul 17
@DeborahDiane Keeping the prayers coming for you and your family! Thanks for the update, and hope everything goes well for your visit on Thursday.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
6 Jul 17
@moffittjc - Thank you. We are leaving in the morning to see my mother and the rest of the family. I will write an update next week sometime.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
2 Jul 17
@moffittjc - Thank you for sharing your experience. I talked to my Dad this morning and he said she is sleeping a lot. Whenever my mom gets up and walks even a short distance, she is so short of breath that it exhausts her. Today is Sunday and my husband and I will be there on Thursday. I hope she hangs on that long. My niece and her daughter were there from Florida this weekend, visiting my mother. Everyone possible is trying to go see her. Thank you for your prayers.
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
30 Jun 17
@DeborahDiane The most important! Hope everything goes as well as it can in the circumstances.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
1 Jul 17
@WorDazza - Thank you so much.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
30 Jun 17
@WorDazza - Thank you so much for understanding the need for my upcoming absence. Family is very important.
1 person likes this
@atoz1to10 (6780)
• Australia
29 Jun 17
sorry to hear about your Mum. Hope she will get better soon. Stay positive.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
30 Jun 17
@atoz1to10 - Thank you so much. I look forward to seeing my family.
@atoz1to10 (6780)
• Australia
30 Jun 17
@DeborahDiane Wishing you having a great time with your family... Share us some photos if you can please.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
30 Jun 17
@atoz1to10 - Thank you. I am looking forward to family time. I will be sure to get some photos!
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Jul 17
@YrNemo - Thank you. Yes, however much longer my mother lives is in God's hands, and I accept that.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
1 Jul 17
@DWDavis - Thank you. The prayers are very much appreciated.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
30 Jun 17
@marlina - Thank you. I am also happy that I will be able to go back and see her and the rest of my family.
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
30 Jun 17
Sorry you are having to deal with this, but you know you aren't alone as that disease hits close to home for many.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
1 Jul 17
@AbbyGreenhill - Yes, I have several friends who are seeing the same thing with their older relatives.
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
3 Jul 17
@DianneN - Thank you, Dianne. I'm sorry you had a devastation last weekend. We are leaving in a couple of days to see my mother. I talked to my dad this morning. My mother is spending all her time sleeping. Even a small effort at walking across a room leaves her short of breath. I hope she is still alive when we arrive on Thursday. Life can be hard, sometimes, even when we have so many other joys, such as family and loved ones.
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
1 Jul 17
@just4him - Thank you. I'm looking forward to seeing her and the rest of my family soon.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40317)
• Laguna Woods, California
2 Jul 17
@Elizaby - Thank you so much for your kind words. I look forward to the time with my family.