What should i do?
@cherrbuublueberry (54)
July 19, 2017 10:23am CST
Hi my name is cherry
Am a young teen
And am dating a boy in my school
Honestly am not sure
If I love him but sometimes
I feel like I do ,he really loves me
We got back together
And have push allot of girls away
For me
Tho he cheated once but after
He cheated haven't been showing
Me nothing but love
He'd cry over me at times
Say how he doesn't want to lose me
But the thing is
Am still in love with my ex
The boy gives my heart the beat.
And when I first kissed my ex
There was that spark
I really love my ex and he
Loves me to
We broke up over a stupid reason
And I really want him back
But his also tired of waiting for me
And has his new chick
Now am not sure if he still loves me
And I hardly give my boyfriend as much
Attention like before
I really don't know what I should do
I don't want to hurt my boyfriend
But I wanna leave him bad
Even if it means waiting for my ex
1 person likes this
2 responses
@yukimori (10148)
• United States
19 Jul 17
Think about it this way, hon: you may hurt your current boyfriend by breaking up with him, but you're also going to be hurting him by stringing him along and not telling him the truth. The mature, adult thing to do in this situation would be to be honest with him about your feelings and break up--not so you can get back together with your ex, but so you can be single for a while and grow independently.
You're at a point in your life where you're just discovering who you are as a person, and that's going to continue well into the years when you're a young adult. And honestly, there's a saying out there that "once a cheater, always a cheater." If the person who cheated isn't willing to do the work to keep from doing that to a partner again, it's very likely that they will cheat again. It's not your fault, it's his choice.
Also, love isn't just some big grandiose feeling that's automatically there to make everything magical. It's something that can grow over time as you watch the little things the other person does for you. It's something that makes you want to go out of your way to take care of little things for the person you love. You have to actively commit to working to better the relationship on a daily basis. It's not all sunshine and rainbows... but it's incredibly rewarding if you're in a mutually respectful relationship with someone who loves you as much as you love them.
3 people like this
@cherrbuublueberry (54)
•
19 Jul 17
I understand what you are saying
But its gonna be pretty hard
I really love my ex
He loves rapping and I admire all his songs
Am amazed by his voice
Just his voice would have me blushing all over
I love him a lot
And I love the fact his always honest with me
I love him for being himself
I love that cute face he has when his angry
And its been months and if not years
Am holding all those feelings for him in
Deep down I know the relationship will last
His very kind ,caring and just the type a girls
Parents will love
His not a player
His always honest with me ,even when he doesn't want to be
I can't eve talk to him without smiling or blushing
I can't ever get over him
Its just DAT I love him
And ofc I understand you
Cause at first I never liked my ex when we first mate
I hated him for no reason what so ever
But when I got to know him better and better
I fell deep in love with the boy
I know you might not understand me
And I might sound like a Hollywood freak
But I really and truly love my ex
Not just him but everything about him
I just wish you could understand....
I might be a young teenage girl just blabbing
In your ears but
Look at it this way
If you had a daughter
Wouldn't you love a smart ,mannerly ,respectful boy for her,a boy thats not looking to get between her legs but love her for herself
Love her for being her,someone that could make your daughter smile for no reason,
Am sorry but this is hard to explain
I really love this boy and am crying right
Now so I think I should stop
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
19 Jul 17
Why don't you be by yourself for awhile and really think things through without all the pressure of having a boyfriend? Speaking as a woman of 63 years experience, you have a whole lifetime ahead of you and these boys in school are going to be fond memories and good for a few laughs in about 15 years. You'll wonder why you were so obsessed with them, why there was so much drama, and why in the world you put up with a boy that cheated on you and why you wanted that ex back.
If you don't keep a hand written diary, I encourage you to start. I was remembering my first boyfriend a few years ago and wondering why it didn't work out when he was just so perfect. Then I found an old diary and read it and could not believe what a jerk he was to me!! I only remembered the good things, not the bad. That diary helped me quit blaming myself for what I thought was my own failure when it was his. It made me realize that I thought I needed a man to "complete" me because I had such a low opinion of myself. You ARE complete. You don't need a boyfriend, although it's nice to have one.
Take control of your life and quit agonizing over those little boys that don't deserve it. Concentrate on your studies and plan for the future. Someday you'll be glad you did.
3 people like this
@cherrbuublueberry (54)
•
19 Jul 17
What you told me
Is very true
I understand
Thanks much for the advice
I'll see how I can work up
To this advice
It means a lot to me
And you a grown up
So best people to get advice from
You have been down that road
Thanks for taking your time out and
Writing to mee
1 person likes this
@yukimori (10148)
• United States
19 Jul 17
You know, I'm seeing that theme a lot among my own friends, too. Society as a whole seems to lean towards the whole "women need to be in a relationship with a man to be happy" thing, and that can't be further from the truth.
Some of the happiest months of my life were the six months when my husband and I separated and I was free to pursue my college degree and personal hobbies. It's well worth it to focus on yourself and what you want. The more you grow as a person with a healthy view of yourself, the more likely it is you'll attract a healthy partner, too.
That's not to say that young relationships won't last--my husband and I have been together since we were 16 and in high school. We've also made a commitment to grow together, particularly since the separation I mentioned above. It's possible for it to work out really well if you're both on the same page.
3 people like this
