I Was Banned From a Support Group

@Srbageldog Yeah, most days I try to be positive and I know this won't last forever-it will get better. But there have been days where I cried all day and night long through this. I am having a hard time coping. Everything happened so fast and our life spiraled downward before we knew what was happening. It was insane.

You have every right to not feel positive in your situation. It really infuriates me when that's people's advice for everything. Sometimes it's really hard to stay positive! You're allowed to feel sorry for yourself and vent if you need to. You're human, after all. I don't believe that anyone can be positive ALL the time, and if they say otherwise they have probably never endured any real hardship.

@LovingMyBabies Everyone is fighting some kind of battle. It would help if people were kinder to one another. They might not know what someone is facing.

@Srbageldog

I agree. And thank you. It's not that big a deal, just annoying. I'm always respectful about following group rules.

I am fairly positive I have fibro which hasn't been diagnosed yet. I have had costochondritis (inflamed ribs) for over a year, which is often linked to fibromyalgia or some other underlying illness. Some times it's not as bad but when it flares up, it's terrifyingly painful. It mimics a heart attack. (I'm not sure if you also have costo along with your fibro; if you do then you probably already know what I'm talking about.) Anyway you are right about the two types of people in the support groups. A lot of people ready to give up and die or ones telling us we need to be positive to overcome the pain. I used the support group as an outlet to vent when I had a bad flare or if it sent me back to the ER from fear that maybe it was a heart attack. Sometimes it helps reduce the anxiety you experience from this condition to have other people who relate and are going through the same thing, or can just tell you "yeah, that's normal, you don't need to worry about it." But I guess that was too "negative" for the Pollyannas in the group. My goal is to also live as normal a life as possible now that I've been saddled with this condition. Sometimes it's hard. I know my friends and family can't relate and don't want to hear me whining about being in pain, so I figured it was good to have another outlet where people knew what I was going through. Guess I was wrong! I'll probably steer clear of support groups if they are going to be judgmental and ban you for no apparent reason. Also, kudos to you for dealing with whatever has come your way. It's not easy living with chronic pain, but I guess we have to deal with whatever hand we're dealt, one way or another.

Exactly. These people were getting mad and shaming people who obviously need more support than they do. I don't even know why they were in the group if all they needed was a positive attitude to overcome their illness. The person who started the conversation had never posted before or even commented on anything until then. So he just popped up out of nowhere and started attacking people for being "too negative."

@akalinus That's just awful. That's the reason why I don't interact with writers in groups, though. I used to belong to a writing group and they were so snarky and awful. I agree with you that bashing and name calling should not be allowed in groups.

@Srbageldog I am on a writer's help group on FB. I thought it meant people asked questions and others would share what they know about the subject. Someone asked a question today and they all dumped on her. Bashing and name calling should not be allowed in groups. I am so sorry that your group did that to you.

I think you've hit the nail on the head. Sadly there are people out there who like to pretend they have something that they really don't have, and then they try to make those of us who actually suffer feel inferior, like we have a choice in having this illness. People like that really tick me off.

@GrayViolator99 It's infuriating that that's the way it is. There should be no stigma or shame in seeking support for any mental illness. I wish people would take their "just think positive" advice and shove it.

@Srbageldog Yep, a shame if that is the case as I guess it can put genuine people off, seems particularly difficult for Men to seek support for anxiety, depression or PTSD. Try telling a Vet. to think just think positive you might find yourself in a little hand to hand.

Nope, you sure can't.

@Srbageldog I would suggest you to ask, at most you will not receive a reply.

One lady I am friends with might still be in the group (we met through there.) I'll ask her if she can find out the reason.

No I don't believe so. I don't remember who the admin was to message her.

@Srbageldog Annoying.

No, but it is rather annoying.

@Srbageldog i can understand. I'll advice leave it