freelance writing
its rude to ask about money
small talk
even monkeys could do it
none of your business
Why Do People Do This?
By StacyB
@Srbageldog (7716)
United States
August 3, 2017 2:16am CST
One of my biggest pet peeves is running into someone I haven't seen in ages and having them right off the bat ask where I'm working. Because as soon as I reply "I'm still working from home," they will then demand to know how much money I make or if I'm actually "successful" at what I do. I would never dream of going up to anyone and asking such questions about their career, so I don't know why people think it's okay to ask that of me just because I'm a freelance writer.
This happens to me all too often, and sometimes I just want to respond "You know, that's really rude to ask and it's frankly none of your business." Unfortunately, it's usually my boyfriend's relatives or friends asking these things, so if I were to respond that way it would cause all kinds of drama.
My boyfriend's aunt is the worst one when it comes to this. I know she doesn't have the slightest comprehension of what I do. But that doesn't stop her from pestering me about it anyway. One time she squawked "You get PAID to do that?" like she couldn't believe anyone would pay me to write web content. I guess she thinks monkeys can do it. Another time she suggested that my boyfriend's stupid half-sister could do what I do for a living. Which was pretty damn insulting. His half-sister is mentally frozen at about 12 years old and she couldn't write a coherent sentence if her life depended on it. I tried to help her make a little money by having her join Bubblews back in the day, but ended up reporting her and having her banned because she was stealing articles online and just copying and pasting them like she'd written them herself. I tried explaining to her multiple times about how that was not allowed but she just didn't care or couldn't comprehend the concept of plagiarism. So, yeah. It was rather insulting to have it insinuated that my skill as a writer is something anyone, even someone who lacks basic comprehension and spelling skills, could do. But I digress.
I get that sometimes people are just making small talk, but I wish they would stop pestering me about my financial situation. Obviously I'm not driving around in a nice car and I don't own my own home so they know I'm not rich. Maybe it makes them feel good to try to pressure me into admitting I'm a failure. Except I'm not a failure. I may be struggling but I haven't failed at what I do. The only way I could fail is by giving up. Which I have no intentions of doing.
8 people like this
9 responses
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
3 Aug 17
Americans are very tactless and rude sometimes. Usually the first thing out of their mouth when they see you (after greeting you) is "Where are you working?" Which is sometimes followed by "How much does it pay?" Not everyone is rude enough to ask about how much money you make, thankfully, but so many people just have no tact and feel free to ask things like that. Sometimes they might be asking out of genuine curiosity about your career, but often times it is because they are judging your living circumstances.
4 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
3 Aug 17
@Srbageldog This is so very true.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (67085)
• United States
3 Aug 17
@Srbageldog people have done it here on mylot and then judge so quick its gross.
3 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
3 Aug 17
Asking what your job is....small talk, asking how much you make......rude, asking if you are successful.....interest, small talk, but edging toward the line.
You may need to develop a stock answer.
My elderly father asks each and every healthcare provider, Where are you from? He doesn't mean, where do they live. He wants to know their ethnic background.....illegal, to start with.....generally rude, but they all respond.....id be telling him, flat out....it's none of your business.
2 people like this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
3 Aug 17
I don't mind discussing what I do for a living if someone is inquiring out of interest. You can usually tell when they are genuinely interested -- those types typically don't ask about your finances. You can also tell when someone is just being nosy and disrespectful. I think you are probably right about me needing to develop a stock answer in those situations.
Some people just feel free to ask all sorts of rude questions I guess. I would never dream of asking things like that.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
3 Aug 17
How utterly ignorant and annoying.
Just pity them.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
3 Aug 17
@Srbageldog Dumb and ignorant. They are and you are not.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
3 Aug 17
They always make me feel like an idiot or a failure when I try to awkwardly answer their stupid questions. I know they don't understand what I do so I don't know why they even ask.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
6 Aug 17
I completely agree. I can't stand when people ask such things.
@Courtlynn (67085)
• United States
3 Aug 17
Certainly not right, and you are not a failure.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
3 Aug 17
Thank you. Sometimes I feel like one, especially after having these awkward conversations where people ask me how much money I'm making.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67085)
• United States
3 Aug 17
@Srbageldog i think most of us do, but you are not. Theyre just rude
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
5 Aug 17
No WAY are you a failure.Working from home does not mean that you make less money than anyone else.Writing for money is a hard job, especially when you get someone that is super picky and you have to keep rewriting the article. And I know many people that do make a good living writing.
But if its okay for me to give advice I would say things differently, Next time asked "I am a free lance writer for ____ and Its an awesome job, I can make my own hours as long as I make deadline and make as much money as I want." And if they ask if they could do it throw out some college degree and say sure they accept and put that degree in the convo that you know they DONT have. That should shut them up.
As for the Aunt I would tell her I was not working at all but you do accept donations
When I say "self employed" People assume I cant make ends meet. But what they do not know is that I own my own business and work from home as self employed. I don`t just have one but two jobs and I used to have three when I wrote online for money.
When I say "self employed" People assume I cant make ends meet. But what they do not know is that I own my own business and work from home as self employed. I don`t just have one but two jobs and I used to have three when I wrote online for money.1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
5 Aug 17
I like your way of wording it. I will have to remember to start responding that way. I do have a degree in English, which somewhat comes in handy but is not necessary for being a freelancer...but nobody else needs to know that. :)
Haha, I am imagining the look on the aunt's face if I said that. She would probably be scandalized. But maybe she would stop asking after that!
I hate that people assume that "self employed" means "not working" or "barely making it." Of course I know people who don't work and just sit at home smoking pot all day who claim to be "self employed" and those types probably give us a bad rap.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
5 Aug 17
@Srbageldog Well even when I owned my own lawn care service people thought "poor!" But I made GOOD money, sure it was hot and sometimes hard but $50 an hour was pretty dang good to me!
1 person likes this
@Lady_Justice (969)
• United States
2 Sep 17
I hear ya. I have had to put up with a lot of that as well. People also fail to respect your time when you freelance, since "you're home anyway." I'd love to hear more about writing web content. I used to do that, but I don't have any good sites now. Feel free to send me some referral links, if you like.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
3 Aug 17
That is very rude! If someone offers the information of "I work at home" I get curious and ask what they do because I would love to make some money at home while being home with my children. But I don't just out right ask, that's not my business at all.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
5 Aug 17
See, I don't mind when people ask out of curiosity because maybe they are also interested in doing it. And if if the person seems like someone capable of writing for a living, I'll give them tips on how to get started if they ask. But most of the time it seems like people are just asking out of pure nosiness because they are assessing "how well I'm doing in life," and that ticks me off.
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (69373)
• Germany
5 Aug 17
I think it's high time you thought of a standard answer which isn't a blatant lie but also not the full truth and which, hopefully, keeps people from asking you further questions.
What about:
-I work for a publishing company as an editor. (You edit your texts and get them published, don't you?)
-I'm a ghost writer for celebrities (Sorry, I signed a contract not to reveal names)
-Or something along these lines.
As to: "How much does this pay?" Your answer could be:
-Thank you for your interest. Rest assured that it's enough for me. I'll certainly never bother you and ask you to lend me money.
If someone insists and wants to hear a precise sum, you can say, "Are you going to answer me honestly if I ask you the same question?" This may end the conversation.
If it doesn't, you can always repeat what I've already mentioned that you're not allowed to mention a precise sum but you can give the person in question the address of the company you work for if he/she is interested to work there, too. Then they can ask there directly.
Hope that helps! :-)
1 person likes this
