Depression rings a Call for help
By Sync Rhythm
@Misty08 (224)
United States
August 5, 2017 12:15am CST
Sometimes I'm thinking if anybody really understands. You know That feeling? It's nothing compared to sadness. It's something more. Its nothing like that. Something that goes back when it wants to, without any warrant of an invitation. It's something that feeds as time passes by. Something ignored, but consumes you from your bits until it devours you whole. It's different coz sadness makes you cry. But this? This makes you numb. Practically bothered by something mosty considered as nothing. Maybe anxiety worsens it. Maybe. But it's just an assumption. For who knows it fully? For I, who feels it, couldn't even point it out. What more for people who never had it at all? All I know is that, I'm tightening my grip. I don't want to loosen it at all. But I'm quite unsure if my hands are actually untying the loop. Or maybe I'm coiling it once more, so as to decorate my neck with the most beautiful noose.
4 people like this
4 responses
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
7 Aug 17
I suffer from major depression and this hit close to home for me. I hope you are okay.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
7 Aug 17
@Misty08 Most people don't understand depression or any type of mental illness for that matter. It's very frustrating. I have battled major depression since I was at least 9 years old, although I didn't get diagnosed until I was 17. As far as coping...I have good periods and bad periods. I have tried to kill myself more than a dozen times over the years and the last attempt scared me so I hope I don't ever try it again... But I never know, because when I sink that low I'm not in my right frame of mind. I have tried medication but have never liked being on it as it makes me feel... Nothing. So I just try to deal with the dark periods knowing that eventually I will come out of it and be able to laugh again. Writing helps a lot. Right now I'm seeing a therapist but I'm not sure if it's helping or not. I also have bad anxiety, a panic disorder, and I think OCD and PTSD, although nobody has bothered to diagnose those last two things. I'm currently considering meds again because my anxiety and panic attacks are out of control.
1 person likes this
@Misty08 (224)
• United States
7 Aug 17
@Srbageldog Thank you for sharing. Yes. It's frustrating. I'm scared. All the time. I wasn't diagnosed of anything. But this feeling bothers me all the time. I had attempts too. And they are getting more serious. I'm scared coz it felt like as time passes by, the voice inside me gets louder and Louder. I wanted to speak to someone. I tried talking. But everyone leaves. I end up pushing them away. I don't know. Maybe it's me. I.know there's something wrong with me. And most times I hate myself for it. For being different. Honestly, that's why writing helps. I agree.
1 person likes this
@angelmels (541)
• Australia
5 Aug 17
I understand and can relate. I have been depressed before and it sure wasn't a good thing. Everything just seems wrong when we are depressed. Everything just seems to be falling apart.
I am glad I have surpassed that stage. I hope you do too.
1 person likes this
@angelmels (541)
• Australia
5 Aug 17
@Misty08 it would be good if u have a friend to talk to
1 person likes this
@Misty08 (224)
• United States
5 Aug 17
Thank you. Yes. Its an internal struggle. A battle you have to face. Mostly all alone
@Misty08 (224)
• United States
5 Aug 17
@angelmels Yes. I bet. But who's trustworthy enough these days? Quite difficult to talk about your struggles... most especially if people just think of you as an emotional baggage
