My Mother Died Today
@DeborahDiane (40294)
Laguna Woods, California
August 17, 2017 10:36pm CST
As I have mentioned before, my mother has been very sick with dementia and congestive heart failure.
Last Saturday, she went on hospice care. Yesterday, they moved up the intensity of the care so there was someone with her 24 hours a day. This morning, she died peacefully.
Because of her dementia and multiple health problems, it has been very difficult for my family members to care for her. She could not do anything for herself. My father dressed her and fed her; my sister bathed her, shampooed her hair and took her to medical appointments.
My mother was in a haze all the time and did not understand what was going on around her. She also experienced difficult breathing and was very uncomfortable.
Although I know my father will miss my mother terribly, in some ways her passing is a blessing. My parents loved to dance during their entire 69 year marriage. This is how I always remember them.
54 people like this
52 responses
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Aug 17
I'm so sorry for your loss. =( I will pray for your comfort and your families comfort.
10 people like this
@Butchcass4 (5895)
• United States
18 Aug 17
I join in your prayers for this family. Father, we thank you for this precious family and ask that You will comfort them as they grieve the loss of their loved one. Be ever close to them I pray. Thank You Lord for Your salvation through Your shed blood on the cross, thank You for making thee Way to heaven through Your Son Jesus Christ.
5 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@Butchcass4 - Thank you for your prayers and comfort. They are appreciated.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@LovingMyBabies - Thank you for your words of comfort. My mother had been in a lot of pain.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
18 Aug 17
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear mother. She is at rest and free of pain. My thoughts are with you and your family. That is a beautiful picture of your parents.
8 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@Happy2BeMe - Thank you, Laurel. I always thought of my parents as dancers, so I was happy I had this photo to post.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@Happy2BeMe - That is wonderful that you have a picture of your mom dancing. There is something about seeing our parents dance that makes us smile, don't you think?
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
20 Aug 17
@DeborahDiane awwww I am happy to have that picture to capture those moments forever. My mom loved to dance but my dad not so much. Somebody sent me a picture of my mom dancing many years ago. I was so happy and thankful to get it.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
18 Aug 17
Oh such mixed feelings. I am tearing up for you. Blessings and prayers for your family, this will leave a big gap. You will miss the person and also the routine of caring for her and for a while you may all feel a little bit or a lot lost.
8 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@GardenGerty - Thank you for your kind words. I am sure it will be very strange to my father for a long time before he adjusts.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47317)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
20 Aug 17
@DeborahDiane It can be a sad time. I lost my grandmother a few months ago. I still miss her.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@dodo19 - Thank you for your kind words. It is very sad.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@dodo19 - I'm so sorry that you lost your grandmother. All I can say is that the people we cared about will always be part of our lives. The effect they had on us lives on.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100288)
• India
20 Aug 17
@DeborahDiane ..Oh dear...that certainly would feel terribly lonely ...how will he pass his time now...he hasn't anybody to take care of......parents are the best gift god gave us. No other love matches that standard...
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100288)
• India
21 Aug 17
@DeborahDiane ...Yeah..that is important, otherwise, they just keep on going inside an wither away faster...nice to know you have a sister who thinks so much.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@vandana7 - My sister is very dear and sweet. She is already giving my father lots to do ... water her garden, take care of some of her plants, etc. She also has a Celebration of Life planned for our mother and many old friends and relatives will be there. Afterwards, she is planning to take him on a few trips. I'm so glad she is keeping him so involved.
2 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
18 Aug 17
You have our condolences Deborah..so sorry friend.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Rest in eternal peace your dear beloved Mom.
How is your Father doing?
8 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
20 Aug 17
@DeborahDiane Welcome Deborah. Good to hear your Father is fair then.
Good to hear your Father is fair then.1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@TiarasOceanView - Thank you. My father is doing OK. After 69 years of being together every single day, I'm sure it feels strange to him, even though we all knew it was coming. She had been in bad health for several years.
2 people like this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
18 Aug 17
Sorry for your loss.It will be especially sad for your father. All those years of dancing together!
4 people like this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
20 Aug 17
@DeborahDiane Well, hope he adjusts to her absence.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@silvermist - I think my Dad will adjust. My sister is working hard to keep his busy and involved with her family. I'll be there in 12 days to see him, too. I think all of that is very good.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@silvermist - Yes, it will be very hard for my father. I am sure it will be strange for him.
2 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (37355)
• Toccoa, Georgia
18 Aug 17
Oh goodness, how sad. May she rest in peace. and 69 years of marriage is such a blessing.
5 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@LeaPea2417 - Yes, 69 years of marriage was quite a blessing for them.
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (50258)
• United States
18 Aug 17
I'm so sorry to hear this......hugs to you
6 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (50258)
• United States
20 Aug 17
@DeborahDiane I can understand. My mother is worse off then my dad and it hurts to see him watch her deteriorate.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@Tampa_girl7 - I'm sorry your family is going through the same thing. It was hard on my dad to watch mom become so sick.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@Tampa_girl7 - Thank you, Marie. I know this has been especially difficult for my father.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41429)
• United States
18 Aug 17
Oh, I am so sorry. I know you'll all miss her. What a wonderful memory, though, of your parents dancing together through a long marriage.
6 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@1creekgirl - Thank you. Yes, my parents loved to dance ... right up to just a few months ago. It was quite remarkable.
2 people like this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
18 Aug 17
How terribly sad for your Mom @DeborahDiane . She no longer has to suffer. I'm so sorry that she had to go this way.
6 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@nanette64 - Thank you. Yes, she had been suffering a great deal, so at least she is no longer in pain.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@just4him - Thank you! I feel especially sorry for my father. For 69 years, they were almost never apart.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@just4him - I'm sure it is very strange to him to not have her around. I know he will miss her. I'm so glad he is now living with my sister.
2 people like this
@just4him (317089)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
20 Aug 17
@DeborahDiane They had a good long marriage. I'm sure he will miss her.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@Lucky15 - Thank you so much for your kind words.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (180765)
• United States
18 Aug 17
So sorry for the passing of your mother. May peace be with both of you.
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@snowy22315 - Thank you for your kind words. She was in a lot of pain, so I am glad she is now at peace.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@rebelann - Thank you so much for your condolences. I appreciate them.
2 people like this
@FourWalls (68040)
• United States
18 Aug 17
My prayers for you and your family in this difficult time. I'm so sorry for your loss.
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@FourWalls - Thank you so much for your kind words.
2 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
18 Aug 17
My condolences to you and your family. That is a wonderful photo. I agree that it was a blessing since her quality of life was so compromised.
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@JamesHxstatic - Thank you for your condolences. I agree that it was time for her to let go of this life, since she barely knew what was going on and she was in a lot of pain. It was time to let go.
2 people like this
@HazySue (39268)
• Gouverneur, New York
18 Aug 17
I am so very sorry for your loss. I believe you are right, sometimes it is a blessing when they are so ill for them to pass on to a better place. What lovely memories you have of your parents together keep them close in your heart.
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@HazySue - I am fortunate to have such lovely memories of my parents dancing. They had a good time together.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Aug 17
@Courtlynn - Thank you for your compassionate words.
2 people like this
