Why is it hard for some people to be friendly and reassuring?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (220275)
Walnut Creek, California
September 21, 2017 6:37pm CST
I was entering the parking space. I'm a good driver. The dude in the parking space to my right was exiting his truck, and gave me his best middle-aged dirty look, as if to say, "You'd better not hit me."
I looked him right in the face and gave a quick wave, as if to say, "I see you, Dude. It's all good." In an instant, his manner changed, his body relaxed, and he waved back, as if to say "Got it." He headed in to Baskin-Robbins.
Have you ever given power to yourself and another person at the same time with a simple wave or non-threatening word? Some people find it hard to do.
12 people like this
11 responses
@andriaperry (117146)
• Anniston, Alabama
22 Sep 17
Yes I do this all the time in the doctor offices, most people are mean to them and I am just the opposite, I even have made chat friend with them, they see my book ( I always bring a novel for the waiting room) and we end up discussing books. Then I set down and hear more people demanding and mean to them.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (117146)
• Anniston, Alabama
22 Sep 17
@TheHorse Oh me too because I was a waitress in my teen years and I know how people can be.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220275)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Sep 17
@andriaperry Heh. I was a dishwasher when I was 19. That was my first "real" job. I specialized in pots.
1 person likes this
but i have this "eyes" that when I walk/pass on the road thru pedestrian crossing, i look at the driver on the car, to either say thank you or, you better not hit me look
@celticeagle (168334)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Sep 17
@TheHorse .....Conditioning and experiences in their lives. Shyness.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220275)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Sep 17
@celticeagle I hope that cell phone use doesn't further erode people's ability to interact live in a friendly way.
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
22 Sep 17
I don't come across as intimidating. I have a glare that can stop traffic when I need to.
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
22 Sep 17
@TheHorse usually when someone is doing something inappropriate. Apparently when I'm thoughtfully staring into space I have the same expression. One of my daughters friends (a bit of a wild child) used to ask why I was glaring at him. I wasn't even aware he was within my line of vision.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220275)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Sep 17
@Morleyhunt That's funny. Usually when I'm staring into space, it's actually at a squirrel doing his squirrel thing, or a cloud, or something like that.
@Letranknight2015 (52079)
• Philippines
22 Sep 17
He was probably just scared that his vehicle might get hit. It was commendable that you assured him that was not gonna happen. I wish I had a way to deal with some one's fear when we are close to encounter.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43418)
• Denver, Colorado
22 Sep 17
I honestly probably never would have thought to wave at him.
1 person likes this
@spiderdust (14760)
• San Jose, California
22 Sep 17
Maybe it was his resting cranky face.
1 person likes this
@tristanex (35)
• United States
30 Jan 18
It depends on my mood...some days I am really grumpy, filled with my own worries and do not pay much attention to how friendly I appear to others. But some days I am patient, re-assuring to others - no matter how bad mood they have. One thing I do not understand though are people who work with people and have bad mood all the time. Seriously, if you keep on going like this for 40 hrs a week, you will do more harm to yourself than to anyone else! Because your customers spend with you only a fraction of time, then leave, having their day, but you just keep sitting there and brewing all these bad tempers inside of you... I think you can definitely learn or "train" yourself to be positive more - it's for your good.
