I love you/i hate you

@nangayo (2290)
Nairobi, Kenya
October 16, 2017 7:40am CST
We normally attend marriage meetings or meetings about relationships once a month after church service where we discuss about relationships. A certain question in the meeting came that left us with different answers. Why does I hate you sound less hurtful than I don't love you yet they mean the same thing? For me they mean the same thing but there are others who thought otherwise.
10 people like this
14 responses
Valerie J. Routhieaux
@just4him (317040)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
16 Oct 17
To me saying you hate a person is more hateful than not loving a person. You can like a person without loving them. However, in a marriage situation, I think it would be devastating to hear someone say they don't love you.
2 people like this
Valerie J. Routhieaux
@just4him (317040)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
17 Oct 17
@nangayo It did mine. That's what my husband told me when he agreed to a divorce.
1 person likes this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
17 Oct 17
It would break someones heart because they always expect to be told they are loved.
2 people like this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
18 Oct 17
@just4him It hurts but thank God you have moved on.
1 person likes this
LK2018
@Letranknight2015 (51947)
• Philippines
16 Oct 17
This is why I hate relationships, you have to be extra sensitive about it.
2 people like this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
16 Oct 17
But you have to try to understand each other
1 person likes this
Belle Starr (Iz)
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
16 Oct 17
Love and hate are closely entwined, we can hate and love the same person ut to say I don't love you is the end of love.
2 people like this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
16 Oct 17
But there are those who say I hate you but do not mean it
Judy Story
@jstory07 (139636)
• Roseburg, Oregon
17 Oct 17
I think I hate you sounds worse than I do not love you.
1 person likes this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
17 Oct 17
There are times when a kid is spanked then they say i hate you while crying yet they do not mean it.
1 person likes this
Judy Story
@jstory07 (139636)
• Roseburg, Oregon
17 Oct 17
@nangayo Yes kids will say that when mad at you.
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Tokz
@ilocosboy (45156)
• Philippines
16 Oct 17
Maybe because "I DON'T LOVE YOU" is to personal, it goes directly to our heart. While I hate you may go everything like I hate your hair, I hate your dress, I hate your virtue... so it has lesser impact to our feelings.
2 people like this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
16 Oct 17
Guess so
Darcy Nemo
@YrNemo (20255)
•
17 Oct 17
I think it could be hurtful to a mother when her young child turned to her and said, 'I hate you' (I saw such a sight once, and thought, 'oops!'). 'I don't love you' sounds very indifferent. If I heard such a thing from someone, I would likely say, 'should I care?'
1 person likes this
Darcy Nemo
@YrNemo (20255)
•
18 Oct 17
@nangayo Still scary to hear such a thing from a kid, any kid...
1 person likes this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
17 Oct 17
I have seen kids being spanked and saying i hate you but did not mean it.
1 person likes this
Daddy Neil
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Oct 17
I also do not agree that they are the same thing. When you say I don't love you anymore, it only means you are no longer loved but it doesn't mean you are hated. When you say, I hate you, it means you feel something bad.
1 person likes this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
16 Oct 17
Is it like you do not want to ever see the person ever again?
Hope
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
17 Oct 17
Could it be that I hate you might mean that I am mad at you because you have done something that has upset me very much but I don't love you means that I don't have feelings for you anymore and I never will and that hurts very deeply?
1 person likes this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
18 Oct 17
Yes that exactly explains it thank you.
1 person likes this
Cahaya
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
17 Oct 17
They sound equally hurtful to me. But I guess "I don't love you" would sound more hurtful if it's spoken in the context of "I loved you before, but I don't love you anymore".
1 person likes this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
17 Oct 17
They also sound same to me.
1 person likes this
solxee
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
17 Oct 17
I hate you for me has more painful impact.
1 person likes this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
17 Oct 17
I think the word hate has an impact.
Judy Evans
@JudyEv (339744)
• Rockingham, Australia
16 Oct 17
This is an interesting question. I sometimes think I will always love my husband but sometimes I don't like him very much.
1 person likes this
Judy Evans
@JudyEv (339744)
• Rockingham, Australia
17 Oct 17
@nangayo Much stronger. You always love your children but sometimes when they behave badly you don't like them very much - for a short time.
1 person likes this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
16 Oct 17
I think love is more strong than like
1 person likes this
The Fly One
@aureliah (24316)
• Kenya
16 Oct 17
Hate is a very heavy word by all means necessary. In marriage, love is the most important thing so when one tells you they don't love you, its really bad.
1 person likes this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
16 Oct 17
I know how it can pierce the heart
1 person likes this
The Fly One
@aureliah (24316)
• Kenya
18 Oct 17
1 person likes this
Spotlight
@genpius (466)
• Nigeria
16 Oct 17
I actually think otherwise, I hate you means, its very bad you can associate with that person, I don't love you means I can't share any feelings with you. Some that don't love you can still be friends but someone you hate can't be your friend in any way
1 person likes this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
16 Oct 17
Now I get the picture thanks
1 person likes this
Ray-an
@Shortail (845)
• Philippines
16 Oct 17
It's not the same thing, I hate you needs the specific reason why you say that. like, I hate you for being, what? not the same thing to "I don't love you" It's means a lot, you hate the overall character of the person.
1 person likes this
JOSEPHINE
@nangayo (2290)
• Nairobi, Kenya
17 Oct 17
Yeah and maybe you hate their behavior but love the person.