My "grandmother"

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So today I got a text from a distant relative. I guess she was surprised I didn't go my grandmother's funeral last week. Tables turned quickly because, as I told her. I/we didn't know she had passed. I guess it's easy to see that we weren't close, at all. Situations happened before I was born and as I was young. These were things outside of my control. I remember meeting her 3 times, total. It may have been more because I was little and maybe don't remember all. From what (little) I knew of her - she was skilled at needle arts. Her obituary said that she "liked spending time with grandkids, family, friends"...(paraphrase) -- well, I'm sorry to say that was not entirely true. I, a grandchild - was not in the "hang out with" section. So, no, Irma didn't enjoy hanging out with *all* of the grandchildren and family. I remember meeting her once at a Chinese restaurant. She made a joke doing with the fortune cookie. I remember looking at the calves (dairy farm) and going shopping as a kid. She got me a bauble out of a vending machine. I remember her telling me about African violets and how you can start them from leaves. And I remember her telling me about adding oil to pasta water. I remember seeing her as an adult - thinking that she looked spectacular for being 90something years old at the time. And that is about all I know about that. I wrote her, something like 10 years ago. I let her know what I thought of the separation. She never replied. It wasn't what I hoped for, but I. did. my. part. And I feel fantastic that I did it. I'm listed as a grandchild - I don't know how I feel about it. In my book - titles need to be *earned*. She was never there for me. She never cared to get to know me. Therefor - I struggle calling her my grandmother, but biology dictates that's what she was to me. SO now... a bunch of relatives.... people I largely do not know -- probably think that we are jerks. That we didn't show up. That we didn't send a card or flowers as people do. Well... it's because we didn't know. But why do I care what a bunch of people who never cared to get to know me - why do I care what they think? Sorry. Turning into a book. But writing feels comforting. Anyway, to summarize. Life is not fair. Not everyone is going to like you. Being blood related to someone is no promise that they will be close with you. And please, please.... really... if you have an issue with someone, even if you are out of touch with them - you owe it to yourself to let them know. Write a letter. Phone call. Email. Text. Whatever you need to do. It may not go the way you want. They may reply with something you don't like. They may not reply at all. But you did your part. For rights... I am sorry for all those who were close to her. Irma's Obituary :