Rest In Peace

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There was an earthquake rumbling within her heart. her soul was drowning in the air that she breathed every single day. The path of happiness always seems to escape her grasp, no matter how hard she fought she would find herself singing the same song of despair. The emptiness starts to consume her and all she's left with is the sensation of numbness coursing through her veins. How did things get this way? She tried so hard to wake up with a smile on her face, drudging through day after day with no explanation as to why she feels this way. She tries to convince herself that everything will be okay, somehow all of her problems will fade away. That's never the case. Her eyes may shine but there is death dancing beneath her smile. People loved her because she was funny, helpful, spontaneous, and nearly all of the qualities of a happy human being but what haunted her was immortal. Behind the light there is darkness, within the darkness there were demons cascading around her until she drowned in a vortex of nightmares with her eyes wide open to witness the life beneath her feet get swept away within the blink of an eye. There was no more energy left to fight, no more will to find the strength. What is the point in living when you only find reasons to die? I know it is not my time, yet I feel like that hollow shell you find at a beach only to throw away because I could not sound like the beautiful ocean inside. These memories have turned me into a shadow, quietly following behind everyone I see living just so no one would notice when I cried. You are happy, right? I would never want to ruin that, it is so hard to find. Excuse me for all of these empty lines, I just cannot find a way to express the darkness within my heart. That is not your problem, it's mine. You see, I always wanted to be the person people could run to when they needed to feel safe, but, what happens when I am no longer okay? This is the definition of being insane. I have an empty heart with a hollow brain. Please tell me I will be okay, I will not believe you when you tell me but it might be worth your time because after all of these years I never got a chance to tell you goodbye. I found a friend once, he was like a glow worm at the bottom of the sea. My empty heart and hollow brain had a reason to live and breathe. You could not experience the definition, "perfect" until he walked into the room. As many flaws as a person could have, he had them all. A genuine smile with a hint of depression, a carefree soul with a habit of addiction, never the less, an example of problematic perfection. The death of him was the death of me, but only I was left to die while still breathing. I forgive him for falling into the mud, but never for staining my soul with the curse of being bound to live as incomplete.