Buying my grandma a headstone.....after 10 years
@CountryGirl31 (1259)
United States
October 24, 2017 9:16pm CST
My Grandma, on my dad's side, died in 2007 and to this day, she still does not have a headstone.
The daughter in charge of her finances before she died canceled her life insurance a few months before she passed because she didn't want to pay the $100 a month and she didn't reach out to any of the family to help her with it.
As a result, my grandma had a very pitiful funeral and still has no headstone. Had she continued paying the life insurance then everything would have been paid for.
It makes me so mad that she still does not have a headstone so I'm going to get her one.
Should I reach out to my cousins and ask them if they would like to chip in or at the very least, come out and have a small service when her headstone is placed?? Should I ask my aunts and uncles if they would like to do the same??
I feel pretty crappy that the headstone I'm planning on getting her is only going to cost like $200 but the headstone I just designed is gorgeous!! It's a flat black headstone with white writing and it has hummingbirds on it.
I've attached a picture of the headstone but I blacked out her name and dates. I would love everyone's opinions on this.
6 people like this
7 responses
@DesirousDreamer (34776)
• Peoria, Arizona
25 Oct 17
That is very very gorgeous. If anything, you can try to make a gofundme. Perhaps not just family, but friends and strangers would want to pitch in. She deserves a headstone and it is so thoughtful of you to think about it to this day.
2 people like this
@CountryGirl31 (1259)
• United States
25 Oct 17
I'm not sure about the gofundme. It's a good idea but the headstone I designed is only going to be around $200. I can easily pay for it myself. I was just trying to find a way to involve some of the family that I know miss her as much as I do.
1 person likes this
@DesirousDreamer (34776)
• Peoria, Arizona
26 Oct 17
@CountryGirl31 Then you can try and contact them. Perhaps have a little anniversary get together to unveil the new headstone
@CountryGirl31 (1259)
• United States
26 Oct 17
@DesirousDreamer I did and it was a nightmare. At first they all loved the headstone I designed but when they found out how much it was going to cost, they said that it needed to be bigger.
So now World War 3 is happening amongst my dad's side of the family. Half are on my side and are telling me to go ahead and order the headstone I designed. The other half are saying they want something bigger with an eagle or an american flag on it.
So I'm stuck between a rock an a hard place. Do I go ahead with my stone and take the chance that they will have it removed? Or wait and have my grandma possibly have no headstone for another 10 years?
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (58574)
• Philippines
25 Oct 17
This is a sweet gesture and the headstone is a lovely one.
Whatever you are comfortable with, go ahead and do it. If it is inviting everyone, go ahead, if it is keeping it simple with a small circle of relatives, so be it.
@allen0187 (58574)
• Philippines
28 Oct 17
@CountryGirl31 
Sounds good. I'm sure your grandmother would be proud.
Sounds good. I'm sure your grandmother would be proud.@CountryGirl31 (1259)
• United States
29 Oct 17
@allen0187 I'm not so sure she would be proud right now. Maybe for me because I was going to buy her a headstone and reached out to family that hate me to see if they would like to be involved. So since 10/25, I've been engaging in a long facebook fight with my dad's side of the family. Half like the headstone I designed, others want it bigger because they have alot of guilt.
1 person likes this
@CountryGirl31 (1259)
• United States
25 Oct 17
Thank you. My grandma was all about family, at least that's what I remember about her. So I think that I will reach out to family when I get approved and just let them know what I did and if they would like to chip in, they can.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45635)
• Philippines
25 Oct 17
it's good to let your cousins, aunts and uncles know. some of them might feel as you do and chip in.
if no one helps, then at least you gave them a chance. as you said in the comments, you yourself can afford the amount.
@hereandthere (45635)
• Philippines
25 Oct 17
@CountryGirl31 good to know they're open to it. just update them of what's happening.
@CountryGirl31 (1259)
• United States
26 Oct 17
@hereandthere Boy do I wish I could post the group chat I made just for the purpose of getting everyone together for the headstone. It was 4 hours of some of my aunts and uncles jumping down my throat.
The headstone I designed would only cost $300 and it is gorgeous. Once some of my aunts and uncles found out how much it was, they immediately said no and said it had to be bigger but none of them are willing to say how much they are willing to chip in.
I have such a headache that I dont know what to do. Should I give in and let them handle it and take the possibility that my grandma wont get a headstone for another 10 years? Or do I go ahead with my stone and take the chance they they contest it and have it removed from the graveyard??
1 person likes this
@CountryGirl31 (1259)
• United States
25 Oct 17
Yea, I dont have a problem paying for it myself but my sister said that when I brought up the idea a few months ago, she was talking to some of our cousins. She said that they and their dad would be willing to chip in but I would have to get the ball rolling.
Well, I got the ball rolling. I designed the headstone but I'm not buying it until I get approval from the town to put it at the cemetary. Plus they have to do the foundation too.
1 person likes this
@rubyriaz007 (4188)
• India
31 Dec 17
Even we have kept a headstone on my grandfathers grave to identify the grave.
