Pumpkin's Rant of the Day: 'Friends'

United Kingdom
November 2, 2017 10:32am CST
As a preface to this rant: I don't have many friends. I have lots of acquaintances, people who might call themselves friends, etc. but very few people I consider as fitting what I'd describe as a true friend. So, it's nice to spend time with friends on rare occasions, and it's nice to be asked to spend time with them. Well, this rant has been brought about as a result of one such person as I thought was a true friend. She's even called me her best friend at times. I'm feeling rather annoyed/let down because this friend had asked if I'd like to have a catch-up as I hadn't seen her for a little while. So, of course, I said I would. Told her a day when I knew I'd be free and she said that was OK. That day was supposed to be tomorrow. So, I sent a message to confirm a time and everything and her response was that it's OK because she's arranged to spend the day with her partner. Now, I have no problem with a partner being prioritised - up to a point. It does, however, seem rather rude to me that this supposed friend asked me to do something and then decided to make other plans anyway. If she'd said something like 'if I'm not with OH this day, do you want to do something?' then that would have been different. It's also hypocritical in this situation considering that it was exactly this friend who didn't like it when other people abandon her friendship for the sake of a partner, and the same person who had me assure her that I wouldn't stop making effort with friends when I got together with my other half. But this isn't the first time that this friend has done it, nor is she the only friend who has done it. As it happened, I didn't have other plans, and I didn't need to rearrange things to accommodate her. However, that is beside the point and is really, I think, rather selfish to assume that it's OK. I mean, I have rearranged or cancelled things before so that I could do things with friends only to be let down. So, not only had I missed out on other things but also ended up at a loose end and on my own. It's actually quite upsetting when that happens. I don't know if it's just because I'm only a back-up plan for people or because people think it doesn't matter if they let me down, that I won't mind. Well, I do mind. I've already tightened my circle of real friends eg. not doing anything for anyone any more, saying no to people who forget about me until they think I can do them a favour. Now, I'm being let down by people I thought were true friends. Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest! It gets lonely with a lack of friends, especially when the few I have don't share any interests. Am I wrong to expect that a) this friend shouldn't ask to do things if she plans on doing something else anyway? b) that the friend should have told me that she'd changed her mind before I contacted her to make arrangements?
2 people like this
1 response
@m_audrey6788 (58472)
• Germany
2 Nov 17
Well. You have a point, I will feel the same way as she told you about it and suddenly made another plan for her She should have informed you earlier before you messaged her in the frist place I can understand your feelings and I hope you can find a way to forget about her
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
2 Nov 17
Well, I did just have a message from another friend about a night out so that was nice. :)
1 person likes this
• Germany
2 Nov 17