"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything"
@owlwings (43910)
Cambridge, England
November 18, 2017 3:37am CST
This was one of my mother's 'mantras'. On the whole, it's good advice but there are occasions when it really is one's duty to express disapproval or to correct someone. It doesn't always come over as 'being nice' but it should, at least, be done politely, I think.
What are your feelings about this? Are you always 'nice'? I know I'm not but I hope that I'm nearly always polite!
43 people like this
50 responses
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
18 Nov 17
i just saw a topic that i wanted to respond to, but backed out knowing how touchy the post-owner is.
8 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
18 Nov 17
Oh now you're making me wonder who that member is! 
5 people like this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
18 Nov 17
@cahaya1983 i went back to it and saw a member they often interact with responding with exactly what i had in mind and was surprised at how the post-owner reacted even to that member. i couldn't believe what i was reading.
5 people like this
@DesirousDreamer (34776)
• Peoria, Arizona
18 Nov 17
It kind of depends on the situation and the kind of person who is talking to me. I am mostly polite, but I do have a tendency if I am not a fan of that person, I run my mouth. But it isn't in an insulting way, but more like an intimidating way so they don't think they are better than me.
8 people like this
@Fleura (30539)
• United Kingdom
18 Nov 17
It depends on the situation doesn't it? I think that saying applies to things like commenting on someone's appearance. If they look nice you can say so; if they look awful there's no need to say so unless they ask (and even then, depending on your relationship to them, you might say something non-committal!)
7 people like this
@thewaher (27)
• Germany
18 Nov 17
I also grew up with this saying, so I do try and be nice most of the time. I agree with you on hoping that I am at least polite when I am not being nice. There are times when you have to say something because the situation calls for it, but being polite is often one of the best ways to get your point across.
7 people like this
@GardenGerty (160883)
• United States
18 Nov 17
@owlwings, my impression of you is always polite and nice both. I try to be nice but sometimes something gets under my skin and I tell someone about it. The person I am least nice too, much to my embarrassment, is my long suffering husband.
6 people like this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16785)
• China
18 Nov 17
I agree with you.Good advice jars on the ear.However it doesn't mean we don't mince our words as correcting someone.We can make the criticism tactfully.
6 people like this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
18 Nov 17
I always try to avoid being rude.I prefer being polite.
6 people like this
@ilocosboy (45156)
• Philippines
18 Nov 17
this is killing the freedom of expression... and it will not help us gain more here in mylot also.
6 people like this
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
18 Nov 17
I believe in being polite.
In fact disproving politely has a better impact than being rudely disapproving.
But it has to be a sort of icily polite if you are really angry.
5 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
18 Nov 17
I'd like to think I am. And I've always believed that even something negative can be told in a polite way.
And I've always believed that even something negative can be told in a polite way.5 people like this
