Have you ever lived in a joint family ?
By kiran8
@kiran8 (15348)
Mangalore, India
December 10, 2017 1:29am CST
India has always had the joint family system like many other countries . The only difference being that in India it is still very much in Vogue in some parts of the country especially in traditional Hindu families as well as among Christian and Muslim families too..
I too come from a joint family set up and married into one , my ancestral home still has three different families living under the same roof . However , soon after we were married we made a home of our own because both of us wanted to have the freedom and the privacy of living on our own and I am glad we did that without having to do it later probably after some friction and ill feelings.In fact, my in laws were very supportive helping us look for an apartment and lending a hand in setting up the house etc.
Now when I look back on those few months that I was with my husband's extended family , I can only think of the good things , affection,love and care showered by the elders and others , which they still do ..
Can you ever imagine living in a joint family or have you lived in a joint family ? What are your experiences and views ?
( Image from the net )
15 people like this
17 responses
@Shivram59 (36334)
• India
10 Dec 17
@kiran8 I live in a joint family and am happy with it.There are 54 members in our family.All live happily.We don't have any problem.
8 people like this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
10 Dec 17
@yugocean I feel that bonding is mutual and it can continue even when you live seperately. As far as marriage is concerned ,I agree that besides love,respect and care between the couple there should be mutual respect for each hers families.
2 people like this
@sjvg1976 (41289)
• Delhi, India
10 Dec 17
@hereandthere we are 17 members in our family.
3 people like this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
10 Dec 17
Yep! Born and brought up in one. But now can't say we are living in the joint family anymore as grandparents have moved out. One uncle's family has too moved out ages ago. The second uncle lives with his family on the first floor while we live on ground floor separately. Soon that too will be gone as they are selling their portion of land.
5 people like this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
10 Dec 17
@Daljinder You seem sad abut the situation , so obviously the joint family system did make you happy . This is something that I have experienced and heard from those who lived in a joint family but later moved out because of job or division of property. Most of them were unhappy to move out..
2 people like this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
10 Dec 17
@Daljinder I agree with that, that is exactly why we too moved out so that we have our own space but somewhere close to the extended family so that we can visit them and they can visit us whenever we felt like doing so
2 people like this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
10 Dec 17
@kiran8 Well as the oldest child in the family, I was the common baby of everyone. lol So yeah I feel sad that we won't be together for long. But it is necessary as now we are not kids. We have grown up. We need our own spaces especially when my brothers and cousins get married they will need space to keep their own families.
2 people like this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
10 Dec 17
may i know what is joint family? relatives?
3 people like this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
10 Dec 17
@peachpurple A joint family is where a large number of families live together. Like for example parents living with 2or more adult children who are married and have children. This can include several generations..
4 people like this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
10 Dec 17
@kiran8 oh i see, my customers do have that joint family, 3 sons with families living under one roof with parents, huge family indeed.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
11 Dec 17
I was born and brought up in a joint family. Being the first child of the family, I was showered with lots of love and affection from my grand father, three uncles and one aunt. Gradually, when my uncles got married and they had there own families, we separated and started living in separate houses. I certainly miss the fun of living in a joint family.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
12 Dec 17
@kiran8 It is said that one just cannot forget childhood memories, come what may. Same goes with me. Some of the childhood memories are etched in my mind.
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
12 Dec 17
@dpk262006 True , all the more reason why parents need to make their children s childhood filled with love,care and happy memories.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (137552)
• India
10 Dec 17
Even my parents years and years ago got their own home probably the joint family system had become stale even then.
2 people like this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
11 Dec 17
@Allknowing Actually , I see it still flourishing in some parts of the country. Most families in rural India which comprises of more than 60 percent of the population still have joint households
2 people like this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
11 Dec 17
@allknowing I am not sure of that because what really matters and constitutes a better world is how happy an individual or a family is ...I know of several very wealthy and highly educated people adapting to the joint family system because for them it seems far more advantageous ..
1 person likes this
@allknowing (137552)
• India
11 Dec 17
@kiran8 May be those who are exposed to a better world go for independence?
@CinnamonGrl (7084)
• Santa Fe, New Mexico
10 Dec 17
No, I never have lived with more than one family. That's interesting, you would at lest never be lonely! I like the idea of so many helping hands. I can see the downside of less privacy, though. I've often thught I may have to live with someone else when my mother is no longer alive. I live here with my elderly mother at her house, and I don't know how I am going to meet expenses on my own. I don't have the income I had when I was working. So I'll need at least a roommate.
3 people like this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
10 Dec 17
@CinnamonGrl For thos who live in a joint family, advantages far outweigh disadvantages . However, now with urbanisation and a changing mindset I see it slowly crumbling. I am sure your mother appreciates your company and is happy to have you living with her..
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
12 Dec 17
Some families practice that here too, but nowadays most married couples prerer to have their own place. My family and I used to live with my grandparents until I turned 15.
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
12 Dec 17
@cahaya1983 I agree that joint family system is slowly dying out because of urbanization . I am sure you have fond memories of your life with your grand parents 
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
12 Dec 17
@cahaya1983 It is the same with me, those memories are never to be forgotten..
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
12 Dec 17
@kiran8 Oh yes definitely. So many fond memories of me and my cousins playing together, birthday parties, gatherings.
1 person likes this
@anushreem (333)
• Mumbai, India
11 Dec 17
Yes i have..but have moved out of my hometown for work.
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
12 Dec 17
@anushreem That's understandable , that's how the joint family system has slowly disintegrated. It cannot be helped.
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
17 Dec 17
I agree that unless all the members pool in and are committed to living a life of compromise it is not easy to live in a joint family. I see a new trend now taking place in cities. Since space is a problem, in many families the parents and children pool in and buy a site and build a housing block with two or three stories where each of them has an apartment. It is both joint and independent living and takes care of the aged parents and small children.
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
17 Dec 17
@Shiva49 True, it is not a thriving institution but those who stll want to hold on to it because f the obvious advantages do ok for all options. In my neighborhood there is a Christian family with 5 children, they have built a multistoried apartment where a few have been rented out and the rest used by the family. 3 of the children live abroad but visit often and they seem to be happy with the new joint family arrangement , especially the aged parents.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26762)
• Singapore
17 Dec 17
@kiran8 Agreed, what you have stated is an ideal but nowadays family members are dispersed not only around the country but also outside India. Then joint family is not an option.
Yeah, compromise is needed but issues do crop up. Brothers and sisters share parents but their spouses do not. That will throw up challenges on a day-to-day basis with ego clashes. Some parents also prefer to live alone or move into elder care facilities and that is now an accepted option - siva
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (181948)
• United States
11 Dec 17
I haven't but I would imagine it is generally a good experience.
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
11 Dec 17
@snowy22315 It has it's benefits since it is economically to live under one roof , also there is no loneliness..
@CaptAlbertWhisker (32748)
• Calgary, Alberta
15 Dec 17
When I still live with my parents I grew up with nieces, nephews and cousins. I have an extended family.
Now I live with my Uncle's family because they are the only family I have in Canada since I left the country and I am in bad terms with my parents.
1 person likes this
