Christmas (2017) - Feelings, family and such

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Growing up, Christmas was awesome. But life happens, and for the last 10 years, Christmas has been both up and down. So this year, I tried not to get my hopes up about anything, along with tried not to be too down.. which is way harder than you all know when you don't have your child with you. But, alot of you helped. As I said in the first post, many mylotters asked for my address to be able to send Christmas cards. Which I have to admit, I was so shocked and felt more loved than I have all year with every message I got asking for it, nevermind actually getting the cards in the mail. So that was a huge, very nice, off and on gift. Then the mylotter who sent the money via paypal, made my day that day as well. And my fiancé, and friend Tammy gave me reasons to smile last week.. Christmas Eve, we spent time with our neighbor Kathy to make sure she wasn't alone for the first year anniversary of her husbands passing. And seeing her face light up when we gave her some cards and gifts helped me get through the night. Now we get to Christmas day.. I woke up not feeling it, but went downstairs to open gifts before taking my brother to work.. I loved them.. but seeing my mom smile at the three things of pjs and the two pack of long star wars socks I got her made the gifts part better. After dropping my brother off at work we heading back here to my cousins, and it lightly snowed the whole way. Which I love the snow so yay. Got to my cousins, they opened their gifts from us and loved them, then gave us ours. Then we sat and talked for about an hour. During that, my cousin asked if I was okay because I was looking sad.. I lied and said I was fine just watching the tv. I guess she didn't believe it because she then asked if I've done a gift or card for my daughter every year for when she gets older, and I said I do that with cards for both her birthday and Christmas.. and she said thats good. After that convo, my cousins three brothers, my uncle, and my "aunt" showed up.. and shortly after they did, is when my aunt opened her mouth and ruined the Christmas mood for my mom and I even more.. So since the mood was ruined, my mom and I came home to give my cousin and his family their gifts, which they loved them. Then we went to Dunkins to get hot chocolate for us and coffee for our neighbor Kathy, before they closed at noon.. Took Kathy her coffee, then came back home and made chicken and mashed potatoes for lunch.. and while it was cooking we started watching "The Ranch" on Netflix. Which we spent the rest of the day watching until it was time to make our lasagna dinner. We also played Uno while waiting on dinner.. then ate and took Kathy a piece.. then half hour later we got back home and finished playing uno while watching last night's episode of 'Floribama Shore'. Then we went upstairs to bed and I listened to my mp3 til I knocked. I also talked to the fiance thru phone, social media and texts throughout the day and wished he was here with me. Not just for it being christms but cause I needed him with missing my babygirl.. So yeah.. obviously I wish this year was alot better.. And hoping next years will be.