l want to ask if any of you hear have known any of your grandparents while growing up?

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I knew and spent time with my mother's father as much as I could. I was very fortunate that he lived by my school. I would go hang out with him and his lady friend that lived next door after school. I had him for 14 years. I worked on the switchboard so one day my brother called and told me not to go to his house after school. I could not figure out what was going on. I called my mother and she did not tell me either. I found out my grandfather died of an anorezim. I felt so empty inside. My best friend in the world was gone from me and I could not say goodbye. We sat in this room away from the other mourners and it was eating me up inside. I think it was a closed casket. When I came to Israel I felt I had to do something so I donated money in his honor. I miss him so much and he is so far away. Have any of you felt the way I did and did not get to say goodbye to their grandparent or grandparents?