Unholy matrimony - 2

@vandana7 I don't think Hinduism has advanced rather regressed. Sanatan Dharam was what it really was and should have remained so. This "Hinduism" is mish mash, legends, corruption, changes good or bad all stuffed into the term "Hinduism" That sort of hypocrisy in the family is common at least on some level in all families. Sometimes it is glaringly obvious and sometimes very subtle that you may not even notice. I don't people are just conditioned in such a way that they have started to believe the wrongs as truths. Like with your aunt. It doesn't help that the person themselves is selfish. All the more joy to handle I guess.

@Daljinder Hinduism has good values and things in scriptures but I am sorry to say that in reality, people are doing things that can't be said to be righteous or moral. And this holds for all religions. For most, fame, money and power is their religion. Torturing others for their benefit or sadistic pleasure is a common thing.

I would think the judge would be asking the guy to take up a job if he was doing the "reconciliation" effort, and not be asking the girl to surrender debit card so that the guy can womanize and gamble, stressing out the working woman so that she does not have enough for the baby girl. As a parent, she can skip her meals perhaps, but 15000 - 5000 for rent, 1000 for her transport, 1000 for utilities and gas, leaves very little for food and baby's things - she truly did not have surplus for him to be asking for credit card or debit card. And oh, the guy was with another woman, at least that is what was told to us. I gave her a very nice and expensive dress as marriage gift, and he gave it away to that other woman! So I am inclined to believe that what she said is true. And yes, he called us up including my neighbors telling us that grandmother was breaking down the marriage by not allowing him to spend monies. Together for 2 years, you would think she would have saved enough had his contribution been there. I saw her bank passbooks, there was virtually nothing in that period. Living with grandmother, she saves on rent, so she has managed to save some, which has gone to lawyer.

@topffer You obviously do not understand the situation out here. I had a colleague, who was obviously from rich family and far more educated than this girl. She had a baby girl. The guy even took them to middle east, and there were beautiful pictures of the family. I worked with her for two years, and at the time, her daughter was about 3 years old (in the beginning), by the time she was 5 the father wanted to divorce because he had found another person. He threatened to spread rumors about my colleague and refused to pay any alimony. The guy who took the little girl on boat, did not love her enough! Very hard to believe you know! I mean, there was a day my colleague forgot her expensive watch in the office, and I somehow managed to get her number, thinking she'd be worried, and so I called her up, she was traveling, and the call was routed to her husband. If a person does not love his wife, how can the calls be routed to him? Not a penny for my colleague and nothing for the child. My friend's father said don't drag it to the court, what you will spend running around, losing your health, time, and in the process career is all that you will get if at all, from that man. So an educated divorcee gets nothing! You are talking of uneducated divorcee. lol He pressed her neck trying to strangle her, and threatened to throw the daughter down from upper floor. That is when she gave the debit card, let him go, packed whatever she could before he returned, picked the child and returned to her grandmother. She did not want to risk the life of her child for money. On returning, family helped to block that card. And that is why he is annoyed with her, calling me up, calling my neighbors, talking nonsense about my maid preventing her granddaughter from doing her conjugal duties.

@vandana7 The way the judge did is perhaps the best way to not reach a reconciliation. The guy could have promised to get a job... The problem is that if he is not working I do not see how he will be able to give some alimony for the baby.

I have asked her to record the statements so that we can get the judge thrown out. But I was surprised when he said, you die, or kill your husband. That indicated the judge had come across too many similar cases, and it was absolutely frustrating to resolve each one of them.

The only thing we have is a right to vote. We vote for people who are not going to do a thing for us.

@vandana7 may be out of some bias rather than frustration!

I am trying to help in other case. My advocate said he would try to find out, but so far he has not reverted to me. That surely is atrocious statement coming from the Judge. But I am inclined to believe that it was uttered out of frustration.