No closure still leaves me hanging after all these years
By Theresaaiza
@Theresaaiza (10487)
Australia
January 20, 2018 12:08am CST
Don't get me wrong I have really moved on and happily.
I took a stroll yesterday and my mind suddenly travelled back to memories of an old flame. I remembered how his baggages have caught up to him, making his depression worse and he eventually ghosted me. (stopped communicating).
Feeling that I should give him space, I came to a point when I stopped chasing him. He never tried to contact me so after 4 months of trial waiting, I realized I was never gonna get any closure so I decided to move on also in time when I saw photos of him in another girl's arms. That broke my heart but on hindsight, I it worked out for the best. We were just two too different people.
But as it seems to haunt me from time to time, you reckon I should have demanded for a proper closure or was it only right for me to just consider it over and move on with my life?
11 people like this
14 responses
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
20 Jan 18
True. I wouldn't even try to contact him anymore.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
20 Jan 18
@LadyDuck Oh I'm with someone now. Been together for 3 years. just at times the pains of the past revisit leaving me with so many questions
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (471969)
• Switzerland
20 Jan 18
@Theresaaiza Let it go and find someone who will replace him.
@prashu228 (37524)
• India
20 Jan 18
If he was not happy then you did the best to move on
2 people like this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
20 Jan 18
Sometimes I just think and wish I knew what went wrong.
2 people like this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
21 Jan 18
Exactly what I did. 
Just times when I remember it, makes me wonder if I should have but I guess I did the right decision.
Just times when I remember it, makes me wonder if I should have but I guess I did the right decision.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
21 Jan 18
I don't think we can ever "demand" a closure. You can't just walk up to someone and ask, "Hey, can you please give me some parting words so I know it's formally over so I can write that on my calendar?" Haha that's weird. But great move for getting over it Bhem.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Jan 18
@Theresaaiza
I think we can do that, I mean for those who still can't move on.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
21 Jan 18
@JustBhem I would rather learn to detect the clues and the hints. I do remember him saying "I really want you to be a friend to me right now". Smoother way to friendzone someone. 
1 person likes this
@aureliah (24316)
• Kenya
20 Jan 18
It’s wise to move on with life when he cannot reciprocate your feelings.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
26 Jan 18
@aureliah you mean, like, you eventually get used to being rejected? Cause that is how I feel about what happened to us.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
20 Jan 18
Rejection is a painful thing. I have learned to accept that.
1 person likes this
@aureliah (24316)
• Kenya
22 Jan 18
@Theresaaiza But loving one self is very important and it will be less stressful when you get rejections
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
20 Jan 18
Maybe you need to find someone or something that will help take your mind off of him and move on. You'll never be happy until you do.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
21 Jan 18
Oh I did find someone. Took almost a year before I decided to enter into a new relationship. Needed that time to focus on me.
@kareemadivina (1230)
• Philippines
20 Jan 18
I think that moving on is the best thing you can do.There is no time frame on when you can fully move on but pain will be more tolerable over time.You will just wake up one day ,and be surprised that you are completely over him, and laugh how you have been blinded.Closure is great but if he will not give you that , you can have closure for yourself ,so you can continue with your life without unwanted burdens.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
20 Jan 18
An article I read back then said the same. That the closure I'll get is the closure I make for myself.
@averygirl72 (37845)
• Philippines
20 Jan 18
Since he has a new girl he already replace you it's time to forget about him. But maybe he will come back
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
20 Jan 18
not interested anymore even if he does. We were just too different.
@jstory07 (139782)
• Roseburg, Oregon
20 Jan 18
It sounds like it is over and done with and you should just move on.
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
21 Jan 18
@Theresaaiza They never solved anything or made anyone feel better it seemed to me. Better to just cut the ties and leave it at that.
@just4him (317250)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
21 Jan 18
If he stopped communicating with you, it was over. It's sad there wasn't closure, but it was over.
@Spontaneo (14700)
• United States
21 Jan 18
I am in my 40's and still think of my high school sweetheart. I know how you feel.
