Personality Thief
By Tamara Ash
@tamaraash89 (268)
Saint Lucia
January 24, 2018 9:34am CST
So I have this particular friend. She was my childhood bestie, we fell out for a few years and have recently reconnected and are pretty close now.
The issue I’m having is that she constantly feels the need to impress me by pretending to like everything that I like, agreeing with everything I say and even trying to look, act and dress like me. Even certain phrases that are exclusive to me, she actively uses even more than I do! And when we go out and I say a particular phrase of mine, our other friends think that I’m the one trying to copy her when she first heard it from me!!
She colored her hair red (just like me), her new favourite nail polish black (just like me) and even switched her favourite drink of choice (a drink She originally HATED) just because I ordered it when we were out at a bar, and she ended up switching to that particular drink. I’m not flattered at all and not entirely sure how to approach her about it.
She’s a nice person but the friendship is getting a little lame since it feels like I’m hanging out with myself!
How exactly should I approach this?
3 people like this
6 responses
@Daelii (5619)
• United States
24 Jan 18
Uh.. I know someone like this. It was after she colored her hair and asked me about it. I personally dont care.
It does seem super creepy what your friend is all doing. Its creepy at times dealing with my friend. They lack the confidence in being them.
This might sound odd, but look at it like a romantic relationship. The person they were at the start brought on the connection! Changing to be something they are not ends in unhappiness and often divorce.
Say you value the friendship and dont want to see it end. You like your friend and will support them in being them.
Say what you said here, you hang out with you 24/7. You want to hang out with your friend!
Good luck!
1 person likes this
@Daelii (5619)
• United States
24 Jan 18
@tamaraash89 yeah, I don't go out of my way to hang out with them.
She admits she "admires" me and wants to be like me. But like you said, its not really fun.
Its like now some awkward competition. She talks to find out what I'm doing or up to. Then trys to top it.
Its like don't you have your own dreams to follow?
@tamaraash89 (268)
• Saint Lucia
24 Jan 18
@Daelii oh gosh. This sounds like my life. I don’t think they’re consciously doing it to hurt us, but I liked her so much more when she had her own personality
1 person likes this
@tamaraash89 (268)
• Saint Lucia
24 Jan 18
Are you still friends with this person who’s been doing the same thing to you?
1 person likes this
@BabeSays (8575)
• Mauritius
24 Jan 18
This is so weird. I have a bad feeling about it. Why is she doing this? I think you try to tell her how you feel.
I mean I would not like to hang out with myself. It sure feels good having someone who agrees with you but not all the times.
It's like talking with myself in the mirror.
You explained her yet?
1 person likes this
@BabeSays (8575)
• Mauritius
24 Jan 18
@tamaraash89 Just tell her I like the old you more. Nowadays you seem a little bit odd. No offence but sometimes I feel like I am talking to myself. I like you the way you are.
Maybe she'll understand.
@tamaraash89 (268)
• Saint Lucia
24 Jan 18
@BabeSays I think that’s a good idea. Will make sure to emphasize that I liked her before and appreciated our differences that brought a fun dynamic to our friendship. Thanks a lot !! :)
@tamaraash89 (268)
• Saint Lucia
24 Jan 18
I haven’t mentioned it to her or how it bothers me. Maybe she’s lacking confidence and finds it easier to gravitate towards my personality than create her own?
I totally agree, I appreciate friendships that offer something different and she’s mimicking me. Not sure how to go about telling her...
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8687)
• United States
25 Jan 18
Start dressing in outrageous outfits and change them constantly. She'll get tired of trying to keep up. LOL
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37369)
• Toccoa, Georgia
26 Jan 18
I think it is weird. You should not spend as much time with her.
1 person likes this
@tamaraash89 (268)
• Saint Lucia
26 Jan 18
I feel that way sometime so I blow her off when she wants to hang out, but that doesn’t actually solve the issue...
1 person likes this
@JSAph8888 (949)
• Philippines
25 Jan 18
Hello! First of all, welcome to mylot. Why don't you try to talk to her that it irritates you that she is mimicking your lifestyle?
1 person likes this
@tamaraash89 (268)
• Saint Lucia
25 Jan 18
Well that’s the issue. She’s very sensitive and I don’t exactly know how to relay that to her without either hurting her feelings or her getting defensive.
@MoonGoddess (33)
• United States
24 Jan 18
If the reconnection is still pretty fresh, I would sit down and have a serious deep conversation and ask if everything is going well. It could be that she lost someone else who she looked up to and now they aren't in her life anymore. So to fill the void, she is constantly trying to reach out to you so she has that fall back of comfort. Knowing that she has someone close could be the reason she is taking up your vibes and personality.
1 person likes this
@tamaraash89 (268)
• Saint Lucia
24 Jan 18
Really solid advice!! The reconnection is pretty fresh so I guess It makes sense to wait and not ruffle any feathers. She’s actually coming over this weekend so I’ll try to be less annoyed and more understanding that she may be going through something.
Thanks for the advice!!
1 person likes this
@MoonGoddess (33)
• United States
24 Jan 18
@tamaraash89 You're welcome!! And if you need anymore advice just message me :)
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