The End of the Story about my Being Blocked
@bagarad (14283)
Paso Robles, California
January 26, 2018 3:50pm CST
I found a Facebook account for the person who had blocked me here. He
accepted my friend request. He didn't remember much of what he did here and decided he needed to spend his time on pursuits which might earn him more money. We had a good messaging session so I could see what was going on with him. I wish him well. I know the relationship is still as good as it ever was. Nobody's feelings were hurt.
I'm not the type of person who gives up on people I care about. Often I've been hurt because of that, but sometimes those who hurt us most are also those who are hurting most themselves. I guess I'd put my daughter in that category. I never gave up, but she did.
I desire to live at peace with everyone in my personal relationships, though I will politically fight those I disagree with in the ways provided for that in the political arena. It is possible to care for a person and still disagree on important issues.
I'm not afraid to discuss touchy subjects with friends and relatives in person, but I only participate if we can stick to facts or give reasons for opinions without any insults being exchanged. An insult never changed anyone's mind about anything.
The question of my blocking was easy to resolve. I wish all real-world relationship problems were as easy to bring to happy conclusions. Are you hurting right now from an unresolved problem in a relationship with a family member or a friend you'd like to resolve? What have you tried that hasn't worked?
Better yet, have you been able to resolve a situation that was hurting you? Do you have advice for others who may be going through such a situation?
11 people like this
10 responses
@JudyEv (340019)
• Rockingham, Australia
26 Jan 18
I'm glad this issue has been resolved so relatively easily. Vince gets a lot of 'stuff' on FB and mostly he doesn't get involved but it did cross my mind that when people start being really rude and offensive they often don't have a good argument to back their opinions and resort to insult and attack.
2 people like this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
27 Jan 18
That's one thing I don't like about Facebook. It enables people who've been friends for a long time to start attacking each other verbally and sometimes even hating each other over a political or other disagreement. I've seen the same thing on other social media, but most people on Twitter haven't actually met the people whose characters they are so willing to disparage.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317089)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Jan 18
I haven't been blocked in a very long time. As for family and friends, I don't discuss politics. It's a heated subject in my family, and I prefer to stay out of that mess. I don't have any situations needing resolution right now, so no, I'm not hurting.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
28 Jan 18
@just4him At least since you were all raised Lutheran, you have a common frame of reference. I once taught Bible as a volunteer the one year my children were in a Lutheran school. There were some gifted students in that class of fifth and sixth graders that needed more depth in Bible teaching than they were getting, so I volunteered. They let me teach it even though I wasn't Lutheran, but I was Presbyterian, and that was close enough. I wasn't teaching doctrine, but Bible -- the first chapters of Daniel, to be exact. I wanted two students, especially, to learn that being wise was more important than just being smart. One of those students is the daughter of close friends, and I still pray for her -- and her parents.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317089)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
27 Jan 18
@bagarad Sort of. We all went to church every Sunday through our growing up years. We all went to Lutheran parochial school. I'm no longer Lutheran, though my late brother was, but whether he still went to church, I don't know. My sister is, and her attendance is spotty. I don't know if my niece and her husband and son go to church. My younger brother, is no longer Lutheran either. Like me, we both belong to Assembly of God churches. My step niece went on a missions trip to Peru last year, and would like to go again, so I know they go to church every week. I'm not certain about my nephew though, whether he goes to church. Either of my nephews, my sister's son either.
So, yes, I would say it's an area of agreement because we were all raised in the church, even if attendance is spotty among us.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18367)
• Orangeville, Ontario
27 Jan 18
I'm glad you found that person and have resolved an issue that may not have been an issue at all.
My friends from high school hurt me but I am sure that then and all these years later they have no idea they hurt me and actually contributed to the person I am today... friendless. I am only good one-on-one and don't have many friends. I'm not good in a group of people really. That's all because of the many friends I had in high school that hurt me by turning me into a third wheel in friendships.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
27 Jan 18
People are strange. I was usually left out of certain activities in high school. My group, if I could be said to have had one, consisted of all of us at church who weren't in any of the "in" groups. All of us who didn't fit were very much individuals who resisted fitting into the same mold as others. I, for example, valued my privacy. I did not feel that people in a clique needed to share every conversation or date in detail with everyone else in the group. I saw the way the girls in that group made fun of others who weren't around at the time. I'm sure they probably made fun of me, too, since I wasn't one of them. The strange thing is that when it was just me and the leader of that group working on a youth group project together, we visited each other in our homes and got along fine.
I had always considered myself the insecure one, but as I look back on it now, I wonder if they weren't even more insecure, having to stay in a herd and tell each other everything and tease people they thought didn't measure up. I saw them be cruel to people who didn't deserve it and I wanted no part in that.
I've also always been better at one-to-one relationships that have some depth than as a group member. I was not willing to compromise what I believed or the way I wanted to treat people just to gain points with members of a group. The groups I did join in high school were interest-based groups in those I was often a leader. We all had common interests, and those interests did not include gossiping about others who weren't with us.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (79886)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
26 Jan 18
No nothing to add to this but I am glad you resolved the situation and got to connect again.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
27 Jan 18
@sugartoes "Hooked up" is not the term I'd use, but we have connected online again. I was pretty sure there was nothing wrong between us.
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
27 Jan 18
@sugartoes So you used that term on purpose to get me, did you? 
@Courtlynn (67085)
• United States
27 Jan 18
So glad you got it resolved. No, no unresolved issues with anyone I care about.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
27 Jan 18
@Courtlynn That's too bad. I have little family left. I care about all of them.
I'm curious. Did you care once and stop caring because of the issues that you disagreed about? Or did you never care, so the issues never mattered?
@Courtlynn (67085)
• United States
27 Jan 18
@bagarad its not too bad, really. They're pieces of ... who only a few people in the family really care about or talks to because of how they are towards others.
No loss here.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
27 Jan 18
I"ve never blocked anyone here, but I have blocked on person on FB that never was a real-world friend. When I accepted his friend request, in my mind he was on probation. We had worked together as part of a bookselling coop that was completely online. We thought about everything differently, and he had verbally shredded another friend in that coop to the point that she almost resigned from her board position.
At first this person behaved, but one day I expressed an opinion he disagreed with. My cousin leaped in to agree with me and this person started to verbally tear my cousin apart. I will tolerate some abuse toward myself, but not toward my friends on my timeline. So I blocked him. That's the only person I've ever blocked except on Twitter when I know someone is fake or soliciting illicit relationships. I not only block them, but also report them. They are people I never had any relationship with to start with.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
26 Jan 18
I am glad that got a fixed. I had to block one because she called me names because I am a christian.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
27 Jan 18
I guess she wants freedom from religion. I've had people mock me for being a Christian, but they were not mean about it. We stayed friends, if you could call our relationship friends to begin with. It was more like they were friends of my roommate and we occasionally did things together or hung out in the dorm lounge together.
