Another Valentines...
By Christie
@jainaproudmoore (457)
February 1, 2018 2:14am CST
It's already the 1st of February and most of the people around me are excited about Valentines Day. Almost everyone's making plans about Valentines Day. Some, are discussing about their anticipated romantic dates, or perhaps the surprise that their partner or suitor might give them. Some are planning about their group dates, like for those single people with no special someone. I know, it's something special. I used to look forward to it too.
For years, I've been very excited when 1st of February hits. It meant a lot to me. I used to prepare surprises for a special someone, too. But... this might be the first time I am wishing I could sleep the entire day away. This has been going on for a couple of months now, and I just can't help feeling sad that everything was different last year. Last year, we were planning our Valentines Day celebration together. We usually dine out somewhere new. Not into fancy stuff, but at least it's something that we would visit for the first time. This year, he's planning Valentines Day celebration with someone else. Someone he has been dating while we were on our rocky stage of our relationship... until he broke up with me saying that he just can't handle me "attitude" anymore. I might sound bitter to some, but, again, I just can't help thinking how totally different were last year. My Birthday, Christmas and New Year was the same. And now, Valentines Day. I'm not even sure if I am hurt or lonely... or if I'm still feeling anything at all. All I know is that, there's a huge void in me that I am still trying to fill. And this Valentines Day thingy reminds me of it even more...
7 people like this
7 responses
@jainaproudmoore (457)
•
1 Feb 18
I also wish for the same... I dunno, I just feel empty for 2 months now... But thank you, Judy. It's so sweet of you. I wish you have a wonderful Valentines Day, too.
1 person likes this
@jainaproudmoore (457)
•
1 Feb 18
Valentines Day is pretty expensive for most people. 
1 person likes this
@Letranknight2015 (51969)
• Philippines
1 Feb 18
I won't participate in the valentines day celebration.
2 people like this
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
1 Feb 18
Valentine's is just another day on the calendar for me.
2 people like this
@jainaproudmoore (457)
•
1 Feb 18
...and I guess that's going to be the case for me now.
1 person likes this
@Daelii (5619)
• United States
1 Feb 18
I'm sorry! Why not just go enjoy a fun trip somewhere new by yourself?
I've always felt that people who love themselves and are happy with themselves offer more into a new future relationship than acting like a broken piece needing someone to fix them. The people looking for a victim to fix/shape are usually abusive people.
Be strong, be happy, find what you enjoy in life and when the time is right, you'll find that special someone.
1 person likes this
@jainaproudmoore (457)
•
1 Feb 18
Thank you @Daelii . Yes, I am on the road to fixing myself. I was definitely shattered when he suddenly left me for someone else. It was totally tough for me as he placed all the blame on me. He was, after all, of huge influence to me. So, his words meant a lot. I guess the major mistake was giving gim the power over me. I should have held that for myself. Now, I am having a hard time getting over him. But I am trying my best to be over and done. I used to be self sufficient before we were together. That was five years ago. This year, I am trying to be that old Christine again... Who's able to do things on her own. I got used to being with him all the time. I am trying to repair that part...
1 person likes this
@jainaproudmoore (457)
•
2 Feb 18
Thank you @Daelii ! I will continue to focus on myself even more, to continue to improve myself, and to finally be able to do things that I want and love, without the need of validation from someone else.
1 person likes this
@Daelii (5619)
• United States
1 Feb 18
@jainaproudmoore good luck!
With time and god, all things can be done! Keep finding things to make you happy!
1 person likes this
@redurnet (1798)
• United Kingdom
1 Feb 18
That sounds tough for you but hopefully you can press the reset button on what Valentines means and maybe things will eventually be even better for you than they were in the past. I like to think of the whole month of February as being a 'love' month.
1 person likes this
@jainaproudmoore (457)
•
1 Feb 18
I used to tell people that everyday should be Valentine's Day, just like Christmas. Now, I feel like he sucked out all the happiness in me. Ever watched a Harry Potter movie where dementors suck out the happiness from wizards? That's what I feel. And yes, I really hope to be able to reset. I am trying to help myself go back to the old me, self-sufficient. I shouldn't have given him so much power over me. Maybe that's why he became so abusive.
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