Would you replace your wedding rings?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
February 11, 2018 5:55pm CST
How symbolic is your wedding ring to you? If after a few years of marriage you were in a position financially to purchase a nicer ring, would you?
We went in today to get my wedding rings resized. I lost a lot of weight a few years back and resized the rings then, but then I put some of the weight back on and haven't been able to wear my rings in years. Some days I can but they're snug, most days I just can't.
Well the sales lady at the jewelry store told us about this huge sale and started trying to talk us into buying a whole new set.
"No way!" I immediately thought. She's just trying to upsell us and get this huge commission and I'm not replacing my perfectly good rings... even if I would prefer white gold to the yellow gold. Even if I never really liked my original engagement ring because hubby got a marquis cut which has sharp edges which I've cut myself and my children with. Even though my rings are like 10-15 years old, worn, thinner than they used to be, lacking a lot of luster.
Then she told me that due to the age and thinness of my rings, resizing them would be a challenge, they may have to add more gold to thicken them a bit so they don't crack, and that would be an additional charge.
Meanwhile she was still convincing me to get a new set, because the store was having a huge sale. She also told me my trade in price on my original set, which would come off the top of whatever I wanted to upgrade to.
Hubby was all for it, and with his insistence I began looking at some sets.
Of course the sales woman was showing me this huge sets with tons of stones in them, costing no less than $5,000 each. Well, it wasn't the pricetag that made me turn them down, it was the size of them. I'm a simple girl, I like simple jewelry.
In the end I did choose to upgrade. I chose a very pretty, thin white gold wrap and a small diamond ring to go with it. It is a certified diamond, whatever that means, and it's about double the size of my last diamond, but still small as I don't want to be showy and the big ones just looked too huge for my hands!
Hubby also upgraded and got himself a brand new ring as well, white gold to match mine, and a bit thicker. His old one bent too often.
I do not have the new rings yet, they had to be fit to my size, though hubby's was perfect size for him. I should have them in about 2 weeks.
I am excited to have new rings that will be prettier than my old ones, but I'm wondering if I should have kept my old ones instead of trading them in.. for sentimental reasons. Although to be honest I was not married with those rings... they all came after we were already married. We had cheap, fake rings at our wedding as that's all we could afford. Then a year after we were married he bought me the diamond which was smaller than a quarter karat. Then after we'd been married 7 years we got the wrap and an additional band to make the full set. All of which had very small diamonds.
Would you have done the same?
11 people like this
13 responses
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
12 Feb 18
One has to do what makes them comfortable. After having my 2 carat engagement ring resized, I lost a side diamond and was mortified, especially since I was in college and everyone wanted to see my ring. My wedding band was soldered to it when we married. Since then, we always have the stones checked in resized rings. Eventually, we replaced the stones in that ring with alexandrite (my birthstone) and used the main center stone in a necklace. When my husband began earning a huge salary, he bought me a perfect 5 carat diamond ring with 3/4 carat side stones and a new wedding band with 5 large diamonds for an anniversary gift. It can't be soldered. Actually, I want one diamond removed from the band. There are just one too many for comfort. It's important to have the rings checked twice a year to make sure the stones remain intact. My rings and jewelry are insured. By the way, I like big stones, especially in rings, necklaces, and bracelets. lol
Enjoy your new rings!!!!!
2 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
12 Feb 18
Oh lalalala 5 carats 
I would be drooling!
I remember looking at rings and was like a simple 1 carat would be nice. But, my engagement ring ended up being 1.62 carat diamond ring and for the side stones I don't know the total carats for that.
After wearing my ring for awhile, my diamond looks small by the day and because I have chubby fingers. So I am in the process of waiting for my jeweler to find the ideal cut / specs that I want and do a final upgrade to 2 carat or a little over 2 carat and I think I'll be set. Oh and changing my setting too...... I like it but don't love love it enough.
Well, when we do get married ~ will have to find wedding bands too.
I would be drooling!
I remember looking at rings and was like a simple 1 carat would be nice. But, my engagement ring ended up being 1.62 carat diamond ring and for the side stones I don't know the total carats for that.
After wearing my ring for awhile, my diamond looks small by the day and because I have chubby fingers. So I am in the process of waiting for my jeweler to find the ideal cut / specs that I want and do a final upgrade to 2 carat or a little over 2 carat and I think I'll be set. Oh and changing my setting too...... I like it but don't love love it enough.
Well, when we do get married ~ will have to find wedding bands too.2 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
12 Feb 18
@DianneN
Yes ~ It will officially be a year next month! 
My dad actually chose the stone. I told him one carat would do but he went above that to 1.62. He went with 1.62 because when you add the numbers up it'll be 9. Closer to number "7" is ideal. I don't know the whole theory lol but it took him awhile to find my diamond.
Then, now - I was telling him against my finger the diamond is still small so he told me how big next! I told him I need at least a 2, but preferably a little larger. He is currently working with the jewelry to find me my next & final diamond! He is particular with the cut, color, clarity and the details so I'll let him do that.
I don't wear my ring everyday because of the gym. 
Whoa 8 carats will be more of a rock on your finger hehehe.
My dad actually chose the stone. I told him one carat would do but he went above that to 1.62. He went with 1.62 because when you add the numbers up it'll be 9. Closer to number "7" is ideal. I don't know the whole theory lol but it took him awhile to find my diamond.
Then, now - I was telling him against my finger the diamond is still small so he told me how big next! I told him I need at least a 2, but preferably a little larger. He is currently working with the jewelry to find me my next & final diamond! He is particular with the cut, color, clarity and the details so I'll let him do that.
I don't wear my ring everyday because of the gym. Whoa 8 carats will be more of a rock on your finger hehehe.1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
12 Feb 18
@infatuatedbby You have a very, very nice Daddy! He should get you a 7 carat diamond to solve that 7 problem! 
I can carry off an 8, but my friends will surely hate my guts!
I can carry off an 8, but my friends will surely hate my guts!1 person likes this
@taciaelisepeace (1809)
• United States
12 Feb 18
I used to work for Zales, a fine jewelry store. Several couples would come in and upgrade their jewelry, either on a golden anniversary (10th, 25th, 50th anniversary) or to celebrate their growing success. I think it is one of those "to each is own". Some find their jewelry holds a lot of history and experience, others find upgrading as a way of symbolizing growth.
Personally, I have a huge distaste for the diamond industry. With that being said I still think its quite ideal to upgrade wedding rings.
I would like to start with an 4th karat then upgrade by trading the diamond to a half, then whole, and so on. Its actually cheaper than buying a whole diamond at once . And I like the symbolism of growth.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
12 Feb 18
That's a great idea. I guess it's best to spend the money in the beginning and get a great set.. then you can just upgrade the diamond as you do. I don't want a big diamond though, they're just too big!
@taciaelisepeace (1809)
• United States
12 Feb 18
@katsmeow1213 I understand haha. I think that's awesome that you are happy with your ring and you shouldn't feel pressured to change it if you don't want to. :)
Also keep in mind that most fine jewelry stores pay hourly and give tiny commissions. Mine was .1%. So $1000 sale only got me $1. With that, I truly enjoyed just seeing longterm couples come in the store and share their love stories. It was a beautiful experience.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
15 Feb 18
@taciaelisepeace Yeah I knew she was trying to get me an expensive set, and when we told her our budget she was trying to totally fill that budget. The set I picked took up about half of our budget.
1 person likes this
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
13 Feb 18
I loved reading this as it brings back so many memories. Ours too was cheap fake rings as at the age of 16 and 18 we couldn't afford more. Then I got another set but gained a lot of weight so I kept the others and got another set. Not expensive, just a couple hundred. Then we got remarried and he bought me a new set as I had lost some weight. I have the ones from the re-proposal and redoing our vows. All the sets are in my jewelry box. Like you mine is rather smaller. I think whatever feels right to the couple is what should be done.
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
17 Feb 18
@katsmeow1213 Good! I hope you love them when you get them!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
15 Feb 18
Now that it's been a few days, I feel better about it. I thought I'd regret giving up my old set, but I don't. I don't have the new set yet, but I'm sure I'll be really happy with it once I have it.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
24 Feb 18
Hi there! I came on here to see if any of my old friends were still active here. Surprise! I found you!
I love hearing about your new rings. I stopped wearing my ring several years back when it was too small. Since then, I've been wearing a Native American crafted sterling ring/bracelet combo given to me when my grandmother passed away. It's not turquoise, although people often think it is. It has malachite stones and comes from one of her trips to Arizona in the 60s or 70s.
Kids are expensive (still helping one in college and helping out another one living on his own) and so I've never gotten my set resized or gone to get another one. Maybe someday, but it's not a priority right now.
Glad you are excited about your new rings and that you are still here occasionally as well!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
27 Feb 18
I'm so glad to see you again!
Well... I have a new story about the ring, I am going to share it in a new post.
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
12 Feb 18
I've been almost engaged for a year. The rings he's given me the past decade (promise rings) I've kept it. I don't want to upgrade to trade in because they don't give you much & it holds sentimental meaning to me.
But right now I am going to change my setting and diamond completely because after wearing it, I just don't love it on my fingers. I don't love the setting (even though I picked it). I am going to get a bigger diamond and new setting. But my current setting ~ I will swap one of my promise rings diamond into that and wear it as a daily ring since I go to the gym everyday and don't feel comfortable wearing a bigger ring.
And I think with this new upgrade, it's a gift to the both of you for the X amount of years being together & getting something you both like, so it's nothing wrong with that! I hope you both love your new rings!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
15 Feb 18
This year will be our 15th anniversary.. so I guess it's a good time to upgrade.
Your plan sounds like a good one. I wouldn't want to wear a big diamond around either, but that's just me. I like simple and don't want to be showy.
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
16 Feb 18
@katsmeow1213 Yes I think that's a nice anniversary to remember about. :) Congrats !!
@JudyEv (342077)
• Rockingham, Australia
12 Feb 18
I would have done what you did considering the circumstances. Because I worked with horses a lot, I wanted a flattish ring, not one with a huge diamond sticking up - not that we could have afforded that anyway. I lost my engagement ring a few years into our marriage and we bought a replacement which has three small rubies. I'm not into lots of jewellery and I'm very happy with my rings.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
15 Feb 18
So you've had the same rings since shortly after your marriage? You've been married a really long time too, haven't you?
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
18 Feb 18
@JudyEv Congrats! That's great! I'll pop over and read the other discussion now..
@JudyEv (342077)
• Rockingham, Australia
16 Feb 18
@katsmeow1213 In September we will have been married 47 years. You only get 20 years for murder! That's our little joke about it.
I have a wedding ring, the replacement engagement one and another Vince bought me for my 70th birthday but it is low and flat too. There is a funny story about the new ring. You can read it here if you'd like to. It's really too long a story to put in a comment.
I have a wedding ring, the replacement engagement one and another Vince bought me for my 70th birthday but it is low and flat too. There is a funny story about the new ring. You can read it here if you'd like to. It's really too long a story to put in a comment. 
I received a lovely gift today from my husband. I am having a significant birthday but I don't think we're supposed to mention too much about such events. We...
@shaggin (72240)
• United States
13 Feb 18
I think for sentimental reasons I would have kept the rings but then again if it took a portion off your bill then that was a good idea as well. My engagement ring was my late husbands entire paycheck. I don't remember if it was for the week or for the month but it was all he made and he spent it on a ring for me so although it was just a small diamond on a band it made me very happy! My wedding band was one I found in the house here that was my grandmothers. It was a simple solid gold band the same thickness as my engagement ring. A few months after wearing it though it broke. I was sad but didn't want to replace it as it was what I was married in so I just always worried my engagement ring.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
15 Feb 18
Well we weren't married in those rings anyways, so there's not much sentimentality to them anyway. When we got married we had fake rings, then we upgraded to these real but small rings.. now we're just upgrading again. We don't still own the fake rings.
1 person likes this
@galileo2008 (1168)
• Philippines
16 Feb 18
My husband and I don't wear wedding rings. I know it's weird but we just decided to keep them inside a box. Other people think that we are not yet married because we're not wearing any rings.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
12 Feb 18
My wedding ring (remember I am now divorced) was from his great grandparents.
I don't think I would have upgraded (traded it in) because of that. I don't even think I would want to buy another set, just because of sentimental reasons.
Now if it was a set he had bought me? Yeah I might have eventually traded it in and upgraded, especially if I needed to do so for weight fluctuation issues.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
12 Feb 18
I would certainly not upgrade a family heirloom!
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51588)
• Canada
12 Feb 18
I have had my rings worked on lots of times. I lost 1 of the shoulder diamonds and that had to be replaced-a claw broke. The last time I had my rings enlarged I joked with our goldsmith and asked if he put some lycra into it for me.
My rings were very simple and on the small side, and because they would rub together it would weaken the claws, so I had them, I have 3 (1 identical to my wedding ring which I received for our 5th anniversary) soldered together. I like them that way and get lots of compliments.
If I were in your shoes, I would have opted for the new set also. But I think that I would have held on to the old set and eventually decided to have something else made out of it.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
15 Feb 18
The old set was pretty cheap and already very worn, the diamonds were very small, I think the solitaire was like a 1/5 karat.. something like that, just tiny. Not much I could do with them in the end. They had also been soldered together, and I think I'm getting my new set soldered as well.
@cintol (11261)
• United States
18 Feb 18
Sounds like you did the right thing because its expensive when they have to add gold to do a band. I wouldn't get rid of mine, I don't care for diamonds and my engagement ring was a sapphire so my husband and I found a setting the engagement ring would fit in. I love it and it was one of a kind.
@NJChicaa (120122)
• United States
12 Feb 18
Congrats on your new rings! Everyone has to have what they want and are comfortable with. I LOVE my rings right now but I definitely wouldn't object if my husband wanted to get me a bigger diamond in my engagement ring. My ring now looks like it is a 1.5 carat with the way that it is cut and it fooled the local jeweler but it isn't.
What I would really like is another band matching my wedding band to wear on the other side of my engagement ring. Problem is that my husband ordered it online and the site has long since shut down. We'd have to have it custom made.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
15 Feb 18
I'm glad you're happy with your rings. I was too.. but I'm also happy to be upgrading.
@oahuwriter (26777)
• United States
12 Feb 18
With the new rings how about a wedding renewal ceremony as well to make the rings extra special as your original wedding rings were. It's Valentine, so it's perfect timing. Seems both of you are happy with what you decided and this is the most important thing about getting your new rings!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
15 Feb 18
We thought about that awhile back, but both of our families are gone so it's really too sad to try to have a ceremony. Nobody would be there but our kids.
@oahuwriter (26777)
• United States
16 Feb 18
@katsmeow1213
It is sad that family went to heaven. I lost my Mother last year and other family members earlier. I didn't know that about your family, just thought that it would be nice to have a vow renewal with your new rings. Sorry.
