I am sorry

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I am sorry because I always rant about this topic. Lately beginning January until now, I unable to do my online work optimisticly. I feel boring and upset, not because the little money but I feel I don't contribute to the society much. I want to find a job outside my home. Sorry I said this many times but my health problems forbids me from doing so. I feel I have a lot of commitment, I have to take care of my parents since my brother move away from home and never takes money home for them. Mom is telling me that I should get a job and I know I must but I unable to commit to it since my depression and schizophrenia always bothering me. I am eating meds and feel sleepy if I work outside. Life is terrible for me as I envy those people with good health and can work and handle problems. I feel like I am a idiot and useless . What can I think to feel better about myself? I am feeling very boring now and don't want to work but my family needs money really.