Hi people!!!!! Tell me some good jokes n all the good jokes would get a rating!!
By pooja29
@pooja29 (20)
United States
16 responses
@vivrenpar (593)
• Canada
28 Nov 06
This little kid I know told this joke: Why did the M&M go to school?...He wanted to be a Smartie. I thought it was cute.
@mridig (202)
• India
6 Jan 07
War Hero
Load An elderly Italian man who lived in the outskirts of Monte Ccassino went to the local church for confession.
He said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son and you have no need to confess that."
"It's worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with daxeual favors."
The priest said: "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people together under those circumstances are greatly tempted to act that way. But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven."
"Thank you Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I have one more question."
"And what is that?" said the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over?"
@jamie11982 (1658)
• United States
28 Nov 06
ok here's a joke for you:
A man get's out of work early and feels that his marrage needs the spark added back into it so he heads home. When he gets there he sees his wife sleeping in bed and decides that he's going to wake her up in a ver intimite way so he start doing his thing and he hears her moans and and she's moving all over the place. This get him thinking "Oh this is so good she's liking it" well when all was done he goes into the bathroom to brush his teeth. There he see's his wife in the shower shaving her legs. so he asks "What are you doing in here? You soposted to be in there."(pointing to the bed). Well his wife puts her finger up to her lips and says "SHUSH YOU"LL WAKE YOUR MOTHER"
I hope that this is funny and not offensive... I'll try to think up a better one for next time.
@jamie11982 (1658)
• United States
28 Nov 06
ok here's a good one"
How do you get a hankie to dance?
Put a little buggie in it.
@mridig (202)
• India
6 Jan 07
Silent Treatment
Load A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 A.M. for an early flight to Sydney.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 A.M.".
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00 A.M., and that he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed....
It said... "It's 5.00 A.M., wake up!"
@jeffaim (215)
• United States
11 Dec 06
you seem to like this joke a lot! it is pretty good, but i dont' think that it needs to be at the end of every thread about jokes on all of mylot!
@ContentWriter (954)
• South Africa
28 Nov 06
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"
1 person likes this
@BurritoBro (55)
• United States
28 Nov 06
Why do Pilgrims have a hard time keeping their pants up? Because their belts are on their hats!
1 person likes this
@justvenkys (1357)
• India
28 Nov 06
when ganguly is talking with her wife in cell, suddently the batsman got out, then he told "only one minute, be on the line"
@whitematter (501)
• India
19 Dec 06
A guy is screwing a great looking blonde.
The girl asks, "You haven't got AIDS have you?"
He replies, "No."
She responds, "Oh, thank heavens for that!!
I don't want to get that again...!"
@parttimer (127)
• India
28 Dec 06
what is the difference between men and pigs ?
Pigs don't turn into men when they are drunk.
@parttimer (127)
• India
28 Dec 06
I asked my girlfriend what sort of books she is interested in.
She replied : Cheque books.
@usman400 (1587)
• Pakistan
31 Dec 06
RAM WOMAN:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
Windows woman: Every oen know that she cant do a thing right, but no one can live without her
Screensaver woman: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun
Multimedia woman: She makes horrible things look beautifull
Virus woman: Also knows as WIFE when u r not expecting her, she comes, installs herself & uses all ur resources, if u try to uninstall her u will loose something, if u dont try to unistall her u will loose every thing
@mridig (202)
• India
6 Jan 07
Cheating wife
Load A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
@mridig (202)
• India
6 Jan 07
Not Seeing
Load A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
