A Better Facebook Experience
@DeborahDiane (40288)
Laguna Woods, California
June 11, 2018 5:35pm CST
I know that some of you have had very bad experiences on Facebook, however I have learned that using the proper Facebook settings can completely change your experience to a positive one.
Here are some easy tips for using Facebook:
I never friend someone on Facebook unless I know them personally.
I have learned that I can remain friends with someone on Facebook, but not "follow" them. When you stop following them, you can go to their home page whenever you want to see what has been going on with them, but their posts will not automatically show up on your feed, which could bring you more peace-of-mind.
In addition, when you post something, you can decide that your post will be seen by "only friends, except for ... (enter names)." Just click on the three dots in the upper right hand corner before you post it, and you will be given choices on who can see the post. You can limit it as much as you want.
I use both the above options to control whose posts appear on my feed and who can see my posts.
I have a few relatives (like my 90 year-old aunt with dementia) who post hateful, prejudiced political posts, so I do not follow them. However, I want to stay in touch in case I want to wish them Happy Birthday or leave a comment if they get sick.
There are also relatives whom I do not allow to see most of my posts, because I don't like some of the things they have said in the past when they commented, like a relative who was constantly using Facebook to ask for money.
In addition, you can control your ads simply by clicking on the three dots in the upper corner and saying you do not want to see these types of ads. You will still see ads, but not ones which you find objectionable.
I also take the trouble to report news stories which I know are not true (which rarely happens now, thanks to better vigilance by Facebook staff) and I unfollow any news sources which repeatedly report things which are misleading, propaganda, inflammatory or not true. (In my case, for example, anything published by "The Onion" and by Fox "news" cannot show up on my Facebook feed at all, because both sites frequently spread misleading stories. In the case of "The Onion," they intentionally make up funny, untrue stories, but it can be disconcerting if you are not expecting it.) Most of the news I see on my feed are from business sources which I have chosen.
I have learned that by taking these steps I can enjoy Facebook, and have fewer unpleasant experiences. I hope this information helps others who want to stay in touch with friends, but have had unpleasant experiences on Facebook.
Have fun. Enjoy Facebook. Just see posts from people you care about. Only let people you care about see your posts. Life can be easy!
17 people like this
15 responses
@LadyDuck (471255)
• Switzerland
12 Jun 18
Have you read that a "supposed" BUG in FB changes your settings without your permission? I check mine every time I log in, in fact some privacy and security settings had been changed two days ago and not by me. This is under investigation right now.
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Jun 18
@LadyDuck - Yes, I did hear that Facebook "accidentally" changed a lot of Facebook settings from private to public. I am going to have to keep a closer watch on them. They can sometimes be pretty irresponsible with our information.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (471255)
• Switzerland
13 Jun 18
@DeborahDiane They are totally irresponsible, they sold our data to several important companies and they continue to cheat the users. I only login time by time to check my settings, I do not post anymore and I am deleting everything on FB.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Jun 18
@LadyDuck - I like being in touch with distant friends and family on Facebook, but I do try to be as careful as possible.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121540)
• Gainesville, Florida
17 Jun 18
Even though we can change our settings to help us have a better experience on Facebook, I still don't like the site anymore and hardly every go on it. I mostly prefer Instagram these days, and I occasionally still use Twitter and Snapchat. But over the years I've just had one too many bad experiences with Facebook, and have decided it's not the social media site for me.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121540)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Jun 18
@DeborahDiane You and I do almost the exact same thing! I figure if I don't see everything I need to see in the first ten posts I scroll through, then there is nothing else interesting going on. I'm not one of those people who will scroll continuously through my feed trying to catch up on everybody's business. Like you said, the first few should cover everything we need to see! haha
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
18 Jun 18
@moffittjc - I completely understand. The internet has made it easier to stay in touch with family and friends, but we have to be careful that we don't end up with creepy, unrelated people trying to friend us!
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
21 Jun 18
@moffittjc - I understand. Mostly, I just check my notifications to see what my friends have posted, and then I scan down the first five or ten posts on my feed. That covers everything I might want to see!
2 people like this
@rakski (122000)
• Philippines
7 Jul 18
@DeborahDiane oh yes, that should be the case. I do not post a lot there.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
18 Jun 18
@rakski - Yes, I like staying in touch with people on Facebook, but I try to be careful about what I post and who can see it.
1 person likes this
@Deepizzaguy (102525)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
7 Jul 18
I got rid of Facebook because I was burned out.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
7 Jul 18
@Deepizzaguy - I suspect that is the same reason why some people have left MyLot. People get burned out from spending too much time online.
1 person likes this
@Deepizzaguy (102525)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
9 Jul 18
@DeborahDiane That is true.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130218)
• Israel
12 Jun 18
@DeborahDiane
Thank you for sharing that with us. Many I have answered friend requests are good friends now and did not know them before. A long the way when I would get announcements for birthdays of those I have friended and do not know who they are and why I did it at the time I unfriended them. I am sure I do not have a lot of friends there but there are some I really like and others i will ignore.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Jun 18
@Hannihar - That is great that you feel comfortable deciding who you want to friend and then you unfriend those you do not want to be connected to. It is perfectly OK to ignore people on Facebook if you are not interested in staying very connected to them.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130218)
• Israel
13 Jun 18
@DeborahDiane
I didn't know those I unfriended and only want a small group of friends there that I feel comfortable with.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Jun 18
@Hannihar - I think that is ideal. I prefer just having a few Facebook friends whom I know well and want to share my information with. I remember a high school kid who told me he had over 600 Facebook friends. I told him there was no way he could know that many people well enough to reveal personal information to them. I hope he culled the list!
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Jun 18
@redumet - Yes! You can always look at the public page of anyone, and they do not know it. If they have loose privacy settings, you can see quite a bit. You can get a little info, even from profiles which have tight security, because everyone has a little info on their public profile. Whenever someone asks to be Facebook friends and I am not sure if it is someone I know (like a member of my church or another organization, for example), I start by looking at their public profile and then I look to see if we have friends in common. If I do not know them and we do not have friends in common, I do not friend them on Facebook.
1 person likes this
@redurnet (1798)
• United Kingdom
13 Jun 18
@DeborahDiane thank you for this response.
1 person likes this
@crossbones27 (49396)
• Mojave, California
21 Jun 18
Sounds like a lot of work. 
I pretty much gave up on Facebook, like some of my friends posts, but will not say anything political now to anyone and if see a post just ignore it and this from a political person. 
I just post punk rock posts which is much like here everyone ignores. Its OK, the silent majority know it is planting seeds and know the close ones always pay attention when I show punk rock videos and rather enjoy them. I think the worse mistake I ever made with Facebook is friending old friends and family. Hey, why are you shocked now with how I think. It kind of makes people fake? Sad to say.
Good tips,
I pretty much gave up on Facebook, like some of my friends posts, but will not say anything political now to anyone and if see a post just ignore it and this from a political person. I just post punk rock posts which is much like here everyone ignores. Its OK, the silent majority know it is planting seeds and know the close ones always pay attention when I show punk rock videos and rather enjoy them. I think the worse mistake I ever made with Facebook is friending old friends and family. Hey, why are you shocked now with how I think. It kind of makes people fake? Sad to say.
Good tips,1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
22 Jun 18
@crossbones27 - Yes, I friended someone whom I had not seen in over 50 years, and then she got offended that I was so liberal. I told her not to follow me! It was absurd. Why should she care what I think. I will probably never see her again in my life!
@cherriefic (10399)
• Philippines
12 Jun 18
I've learned to just ignore my wall and just use messenger to communicate with family and friends. It's also good for running a business online.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Jun 18
@cherriefic - Yes, it can be a great way to run a business. I have a separate Facebook page for the books and articles I write. That has been very helpful. I don't read much of my general wall, but I do look at the notifications to see if any might interest me.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37350)
• Toccoa, Georgia
12 Jun 18
Thanks, those are great Facebook tips.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
12 Jun 18
@LeaPea2417 - I hope this helps people get the most from their Facebook experience. They have made some significant improvements to the site over the past year.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (105820)
• Marion, Ohio
12 Jun 18
Great tips. I have unfollowed a few people but most I just unfriend completely. I look at it as my own little world that I control and no crap is allowed there!!!
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (105820)
• Marion, Ohio
13 Jun 18
@DeborahDiane The only way for me.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Jun 18
@wolfgirl569 - Great attitude! I like the idea that it is your own little world and no crap is allowed. Perfect way to use Facebook.
@RasmaSandra (79649)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
12 Jun 18
Great tips. I keep FB around because I can pop in any time and check on what my friends are up too. I am not on there that often but I do use it for letting my friends know news about me and it was easy setting up a page for my book of poems.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Jun 18
@RasmaSandra - That is wonderful that you have a separate page for your poems! It sounds like you have learned how to make Facebook meet your needs without creating problems for you.
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Jun 18
@just4him - I'm glad you found it useful. It makes me sad when someone I know leaves Facebook because they do not know how to make it work better for them. There's no reason to let it frustrate someone.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
18 Jun 18
@Peach10 - Yes, it does make it easier to get rid of unpleasant posts.
1 person likes this
@meinoutje (17)
• Germany
12 Jun 18
I agree with you totally. Recently I learned that Facebook is trying to demotivate commercial posts and promotes esp video's (so not commercially orientated ones). I tried it out and posted a video of our dogs and it got many hits and comments. Also sweet pictures get loads of likes. However a post I made trying to sell some items for our charity, we have a home for handicapped dogs) was hardly liked or shared.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
13 Jun 18
@meinoutje - Thank you for this information. I just learned from you! I think Facebook is great, as long as we take advantage of the settings we like.
@thislittlepennyearns (62063)
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
11 Jun 18
I love reading the onion posts.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40288)
• Laguna Woods, California
11 Jun 18
@thislittlepennyearns - I love the humor in "The Onion" posts, too, but I don't like them on Facebook because people tend to pass them around and think they are true! Some people just do not get it.
