Anxiety is harder than I thought.
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
Perth, Australia
June 19, 2018 12:22am CST
When I was little, I thought anxiety was just feeling anxious about something or someone.
Nowadays I realise just how bad it can be. I've been dealing with it for a very long time but as of late, I've realised how much it's consuming my energy. I spoke to my psychologist about this so I am getting help but I'm feeling impatient about it all. Just wishing I didn't have depression / anxiety etc....etc.....etc ( there's more to add to that but the rest is kinda irrelevant to this post anyway. )
I can't really tell if I am this way because of past events of how people have treated me or if I'm just struggling mentally with some things. Apparently it's my past.
But what happens a lot now is that my thoughts can turn the smallest thing into a big negative thing. Or creating problems that don't even exist. It is driving me nuts. It's annoying me.
I could spend a day having fun with a friend but next day I would somehow think they don't really like me. Like what the hell?! I KNOW though, that it's my anxiety doing this but I just haven't learned the techniques yet to help lessen the worries or preferably stop them.
Basically, it's me somehow creating stress / worries from something that hasn't even happened. Or at least no proof at all to back up what I'm stressing about.
Though I am pretty open, I don't always talk about this on here. I'm in one of those panic moods where I just want to stop stressing. But not one of those "Watch TV to get your mind off it" tricks. That's a band aid trick. I want to actually learn to alter this stupid brain of mine to defuse bad thoughts when they start bombarding me.
IF you by any chance have anxiety or know about anxiety techniques, how do you try to make your mind to become more positive? How do you shift your negative thoughts into positive? Is there a way to think rationally/ logically about the thoughts we create?
Thank you in advance. Just one of those days. Sitting here thinking of what I'm worried about and writing a list in my head of why it is or isn't even an issue. Like doing a "check list" to see if it's even worth worrying about. These are the times I wish I could just fall asleep for awhile.
13 people like this
16 responses
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
19 Jun 18
Sounds like you are having anxiety attacks about your anxiety!!
Exercise and exposure to green open spaces are both very good for lifting the mood so maybe when you get too stressed a walk might be a good idea. Comedy is also a good one. Watch some stand up comedy on youtube. That's been proven to be a great mood lifter.
You may think things like that are band-aids but seriously, anything that breaks the cycle of negative thoughts is going to help. The trick is catching the negative thoughts and applying the distraction techniques before you allow them to spiral too far downwards.
Regarding your check list to see if something is worth worrying about, it should have one entry, "Nothing". No amount of worrying has ever changed the outcome of any situation, ever!!!
4 people like this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
20 Jun 18
@VivaLaDani13 You're very welcome. As someone who has been through something similar (although I don't think I've ever been anxious about the anxiety!!!) and managed to come through it (relatively) unscathed I just hope that I can use that experience to help others.
You have always come across as a sensible, intelligent, likeable young woman who has the ability to achieve whatever she wants in life. I would hate to see limitations being placed on you due to something that is very fixable. I'm not saying it's easy but it is achievable.
You may not be able to change a situation but you can change your perception of it.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@WorDazza Thank you very much for your response! And you pretty much hit the nail on the head there. I stress over the stress I have and get anxiety over the anxiety I get. Trying hard to take control over this!
I read your response over a few times because it helped me to think how I can deal with this better. Thank you very much. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me here.
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@LadyDuck (467179)
• Switzerland
19 Jun 18
I know what you mean, we have anxiety attacks and some times we do not even understand the reason why we feel like this. It is a good idea to do a check list to try to understand what are the reasons that make you worry and see if they are worth worrying about.
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@LadyDuck (467179)
• Switzerland
20 Jun 18
@VivaLaDani13
I know what you mean Dani, sometimes we think to be the only person in the world to have some kind of problems. Sharing is always helpful.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@LadyDuck Very true! Sometimes I also feel like I don't want to bother anyone. Not totally sure why that is though yet. That is also annoying.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@LadyDuck Thank you very much for your answer. It made me feel less alone. I mean I know people have issues but it's always comforting to know I'm not alone.
I will keep doing that check list thing more often to see if that can help. Thank you Anna. ![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@dodo19 (47268)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
20 Jun 18
@lnillerman those are definitely good suggestions.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@dodo19 I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I can honestly sympathise and empathise. I am glad you have discovered what has been causing you some issues. That's a great step in helping yourself. Well done.
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@dodo19 (47268)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
20 Jun 18
@VivaLaDani13 it's nice to hear that others can relate. I do have a better understanding of my anxiety, which is a good first step.
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@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
19 Jun 18
Maybe engaging in some sort of a hobby or sport would take your mind off it, our brains needs a little re-wiring sometimes.
I had anxiety panic attacks when I was young, I kept saying that I'm sick, I'm dying, my heart is gonna stop lol but all the doctors my parents brought me to found nothing wrong.
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@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
19 Jun 18
@VivaLaDani13 that happened to me a long time ago, they prescribed valium to calm me down but I just pretended or did not take it cause I was afraid my heart would stop and I won't wake up lol!
You won't believe me but a group of Christians prayed over me, they said it was some kind of spiritual sickness and it was like something was trying to possess me, haha.. didn't really believed that but I got better, started to exercise and eat healthy again, I slept soundly, something I could not do for months, I came out of it a better person anyway it was just my personal experience and there might really be other scientific underlying causes or explanation.
You want something stronger? Come over here, I have electric shockers![](/Content/images/emotes/w00t.gif)
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@louievill lol not sure if the electric shockers will work. ![](/Content/images/emotes/fear.gif)
I can understand that fear of taking something. Sometimes the medications we have help one thing but cause another thing. It's why I usually prefer natural remedies first before anything else.
It's not that I don't believe you. I will believe you when you say that you felt better. However it happened I am glad that you got some relief. I have had weird paranormal things happen to me along with a bad spirit/s apparently surrounding me that made me worse. But who knows. I'm just glad you are doing better!
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
19 Jun 18
@louievill I'm sorry to hear about your panic attacks. I don't believe I've had it like that but sometimes I will have problems breathing with my heart beating fast. But it's mainly the negative thoughts that come out of no where with no proof to back it up.
Thank you for your suggestion. I know hobbies are helpful but I'm after something stronger to actually help the way I think. I hope that makes sense. ![](/Content/images/emotes/hugs.gif)
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@anikoonline (3250)
• Hungary
19 Jun 18
When I have such negative thought, I keep telling myself that this all happens only in my head and it is not reality. It helps me, maybe you could try it, too.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@anikoonline Thank you very much for your answer. I have been doing that too but not as often as I probably should! Thank you so much! I will try this!
1 person likes this
@anikoonline (3250)
• Hungary
23 Jun 18
@VivaLaDani13 It is a kind of routine for me now and it really helps. I can stop my bad thoughts or at least I know that they are not true.
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@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
19 Jun 18
Hi Dani. I feel anxious sometimes too. But I am glad to have my husband by my side to make things a little better. I may not have anxiety, but I still overthink and make a big fuss of everything but what I do is I read and focus on something so I wont think of other things or else, I will be thingking about many things. I like that you share this with us and it takes guts to be honest and not pretend that you are okay or your life is perfect. We always have your back, do not worry. ![](/Content/images/emotes/hugs.gif)
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@mlgen1037 I am very glad you have someone close to you to help you. That's always so nice to have someone there when we are feeling low. I am like you. I over think. I also over analyse even the smallest things. It's very annoying.
Thank you for everything. You're always so kind to me and make me feel welcome here to express myself. Thank you.
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@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
20 Jun 18
@VivaLaDani13 My dear friend, always a pleasure. You are a good person and I may not have met you personally, you have made me feel that you can be my friend and we are similar in some ways. I return the kindness and you deserve to be loved, just like all of us here. "So, dont be afraid to let it show, your true colors..." (That song, True Colors). ![](/Content/images/emotes/blush.gif)
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@cherriefic (10399)
• Philippines
20 Jun 18
Whenever I feel that anxiety is attacking me, I will tell my brain to stop and start to work on all the sites I'm into. When I'm busy, I am able to control whatever is bothering me.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@cherriefic Thank you for telling me what you do. Very helpful advice.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@jaboUK No worries at all. Your support and just being here makes me feel good. So thank you. ![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
20 Jun 18
Hmph... I am not completely sold on suppressing emotions and defusing thoughts or stopping them altogether. This is not dealing with stuff. Its casting it aside or simply burying it like it was insignificant regardless of the impact it is having on one's life. One can't solve a problem when one refuse to acknowledge there is a problem in the first place.
Alright...here is the thing... my thoughts are so jumbled up I can hardly arrange them to make sense of it. Though I have lot to say on the topic. Since I can't figure out where to start I am picking random one out of the scattered thoughts in my head.
"Physical Manifestation" and "Tangible Evidence"
Start with baby steps! Clean your environment. Not just physically but also clean the energy. Is there anything around you that makes you furrow your brow? lol I would suggest to paint your sanctuary a soothing colour like green but I think that isn't possible since its a rented space. How about keeping your surroundings smelling nice. What fragrance soothes you? Is your bedding comfortable enough? What about the texture, colour? Soothing music? Indulge in meditation. You see where I am going with this? You know very well how environment affects a person.
Next thing! You said about making list of worries in your head. Dude its already chaotic up there. You aren't helping it any. Write / type the list. It makes a great deal of difference. Now not only you would be thinking/ imaging stuff, you have the proof in the form of words in front of you. Thoughts and images cannot be captured and are flighty to say the least. But written words aren't going anywhere. They are there until you yourself remove them. The words won't dodge your grasp like the thoughts do. You can work down the list on your leisure.
Another thing to do is to imagine the negative thoughts in your head as a person. Whenever that person speaks up you talk back to counteract their arguments/ contradict their words no matter whether you believe your own words or not. Let loose the sarcastic side. You are a logical person. You can do it. AND you must do it verbally ...out loud. Whenever a negative thought is said, answer it verbally. It may sound silly but it can help. You have enough hours in the week to yourself. Use that time for being weird lol You know no matter however many times anyone outside of you offers you reassurance, they will sound hollow, lacking in depth and sincerity to you unless you yourself believe it. You are the first person that needs to reassure yourself. WIthout you, no one can give that to you. There are people you trust, people you love and people you put faith in. Defend them against your negative thought pattern. But most important of all, defend the most important person in your life: YOU. Defend yourself against self-deprecating, self-conscious thoughts VERBALLY! The more you do it, the more you will start to believe it. The more weight words will start to carry for your head to get it and not dismiss it by negative thoughts.
Damn! I have more to say but I lost track. ![](/Content/images/emotes/doh.gif)
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
24 Jun 18
@Daljinder Thank you for your awesome response. I'm sorry you lost track with what you are saying but you did well with everything regardless.
I agree with everything you said. ( I mean of course you bloody smart and in-tune with these kind of things )
Thank you very much DJ. Everything was on point and I know that I am in need of changing things too so it can better myself in more ways than one.
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@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
27 Jun 18
@VivaLaDani13 We all should always strive to be better. Even in your words or thoughts don't single yourself out. Like you are not "normal". Unintentionally or not, it doesn't matter. Just keep an eye / ear out for if/ when you discover yourself doing so.
1 person likes this
@anamika161088 (11868)
• India
19 Jun 18
Anxiety is a slow killer which kills our relations, self esteem, time and energy first and then overtake on us.
Meditation, keeping busy, Pershing hobby are some ways to keep anxiety at the bay
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@anamika161088 Oh I can agree with that for sure!
Thank you so much for your advice.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@dya80dya I am so sorry you have to deal with that! That sounds awful!
May I please ask you to elaborate a bit more about the breathing exercises? I have heard about it but not totally sure if I've been taught that yet.
@Nona027 (32)
• Egypt
19 Jun 18
You can try EFT technique and tell me if it works. If it didn't I can tell you about other techniques, You can try them one by one until you find the one that suits you, but you must have patience.I can't write about all techniques for once, so that you won't get confused.
https://youtu.be/IWu3rSEddZI
![](http://img.mylot.com/120x120/2979831.jpeg)
http://eft.mercola.com/?x_cid=youtube EFT Practitioner of Dr. Mercola's Center for Natural Health Julie Schiffman shows a tool which can help in various aspe...
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@Nona027 Thank you so much! I will be checking this out for sure!
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@Jessabuma (31700)
• Baguio, Philippines
19 Jun 18
I sometimes feel anxiety too.
Try listening to soothing and calming music..
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@Jessabuma Sorry you have it too sometimes. Thank you for your advice!
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@asswclown (507)
• United Kingdom
19 Jun 18
Benzodiazepines will help lower your anxiety.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
19 Jun 18
@kepweng No I mean techniques. I mean not swallowing anything. Nothing. Training my brain to think more positive. To learn how to take something I'm stressed about and analyse it to see if it's even worth worrying about. Or learn how to become less stressed etc
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@lnillerman That's what I think too. Even when I have a headache, I try natural things first before swallowing any medication.
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
19 Jun 18
Try listening to this music. It has been scientifically proven to reduce stress. It lasts for 8 minutes. Just try to relax and listen to it.
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Buy the album Weightless (Ambient Transmissions Vol 2): + iTunes: http://found.ee/WeightlessAlbum + Just Music Store http://found.ee/I3Rql + The Ambient Zone...
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@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jun 18
@garymarsh6 Thank you Gary! Will definitely be listening to this! I often look these sorts of videos up anyway so I can do this for sure!
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