Are you really suppose to raise boys and girls differently? should you?
By Robin
@Daelii (5619)
United States
June 22, 2018 12:26pm CST
Its my personal opinion that I don't see the need to raise boys and girls differently. I have three wonderful daughters and I'm so thankful to God that he gave me such wonderful blessings in my life. If anything, I can say for sure, I've become a better person because of them.
I've been told at one time or another, that I'm over protective, coddle them too much, etc. That if I had boys, I'd be doing it differently. That I'm raising princesses that wont be able to handle the world and will need a prince to take care of them.
I don't think I would be doing it differently if I had boys. I already had a hand in raising my nephew. What I did for him, I'm doing with my girls. Trying to be the best parent I can, with what I have. :)
I don't think it has anything to do with not believing my kids are mature enough (they are!) nor does it have anything to do with their gender. It has everything to do with the fact that I just don't trust people.
Is it really coddling to open and do things for my kids? Yes, sure they can do things on their own and they do. I just however, like being able to help them. There is a huge difference in my mind in letting a child be independent and do things on their own safely and having a kid do everything because the parent is just to lazy to get up and be involved in what is going on.
Its okay to teach kids things so they can function on their own when they are adults.
Its okay to help them now, as they are kids, because they don't have to live like an adult when they are a child.
or am I wrong? what are your thoughts?
I fully believe I'm raising three wonderful girls who are filled with compassion and understanding for people around them. Little ladies who know how to tackle a problem if its in front of them but smart enough to know they can ask for help if they need it. There is no shame in being a part of a team and that is exactly what family is, a support system to help everyone do the best they can!
* Picture is of my two oldest girls - The one wearing the sunglasses is my oldest and she's 7; the one dressed as a unicorn (yes, she loves going out dressed as a kitty, a unicorn, or a princess..) is 5. :)
They both loved being able to learn how to shoot a bow.
5 people like this
4 responses
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
22 Jun 18
Hi Robin. Your girls are so cute. If I have children, I would not raise them differently. I will just to explain to them some things (difference of a boy and a girl sort of thing) but with all manners, values, it will all be the same.
2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
24 Jun 18
@Daelii You are always welcome, Robin. Teaching those will set a foundation for children. It is also necessary that we be good examples to them too. 
1 person likes this
@Daelii (5619)
• United States
24 Jun 18
@mlgen1037 I definitely try the live as I do approach!
It always baffles me when people are like do as I say and not as I do!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (170059)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Jun 18
I've been told all manner of things. Boys are harder to raise. I don't see it. I think each child is an individual and they need the basics to get along well in life. Bottom line is that love and common sense go a long way.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (170059)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Jun 18
@Daelii .....I have no regrets having a girl either. It has been fun altho hairraising at times.
1 person likes this
@Daelii (5619)
• United States
23 Jun 18
Love and common sense is soo important!
I've been told boys are harder when younger ; but then its girls who are harder in the teenage years. I keep having people say "Wait 5 years then your gonna wish you had boys"
Most often than not, people ask when I'm gonna have the boy or did I want boys?
Its like the baby making factory is closed down... dr doesn't advise another attempt and hubby doesn't want to try again. I'm grateful for girls and have no regrets about having all girls. :)
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (117694)
• Anniston, Alabama
22 Jun 18
I helped raise boys and girls. I often found that each liked doing what the others were doing. girls cooking? The boys wanted to do that too, the boys playing baseball, or any type ball games, the girls wanted to play as well.
I often let the little kids, 5 years old and up, help me cook, they loved making scrambles eggs while I watched. I don`t think gender plays a part in learning how to care for themselves.
I would not over do it with the doing for the child because they may make the child lazy.
My mother and other woman taught me to sew, cook and be a lady, my father and brothers taught me to do construction, painting and some car things (times changed and now I cant change the spark plugs in a car! but I do in my mowers) and to fight.
2 people like this
@Daelii (5619)
• United States
23 Jun 18
Thank you for sharing! I really love what you said!
I don't know a thing about cars but neither did my mother! If something broke down, be it a car or the lawnmower, my mom and grandmother always called someone else to do the repairs. Meanwhile, my husband is MR fix anything and our girls love helping him do things as needed on whatever!
I just don't think basic life skills from cooking, sewing, fixing things, etc have a gender assignment. I also think kids learn best by doing WITH a person. A lot of their skills they picked up by observation and later demonstrated on their own.
They can throw on pretty dresses and sit down to a tea party with each other, friends, and dolls. They can play princess all day long. They can also go throw a ball and get all muddy playing in the rain or exploring hill sides and paths.
I think part of being a kid, is to really just be a kid, learn and play and kids learn so much through playing and exploring!
1 person likes this
@Daelii (5619)
• United States
23 Jun 18
awesome! what do you define as coddling or being over protective?
I've had one parent tell me that just because hubby or I cook breakfast that is coddling. for in the "real world" people don't wake up and get a hot meal handed to them. I'm like "wha?"....
to me making sure kids eat is a parents responsibility. to not do so, is being a lazy parent.
I mean, don't get me wrong I keep a few snack drawers/shelves in kitchen, fridge, pantry... so if they are hungry between meals they can grab something to eat.
I've also been told I'm coddling them because they can pick out additions to the meal. "what veggie are we having with this?" or on nights they plan the whole meal, they do that. we also cook it together. is it really coddling or teaching them basic skills in a fun way?
