Dear Diary #1

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Writing gives me a peace of mind. I kept a couple of diaries before, probably around 4-5 but had to burn them in fear of someone reading them. Besides, I didn’t have proper place keep them securely. Guess I went a bit paranoid there. Yeap. It's ok man, nothing much in there anyway. I'm bored and I couldn't find the dear diary thread in MyLot, (maybe I've missed it?) So I've decided to start a new one for us all. Dear Diary, I am such a conflicted loner, I mean I am a loner, I think back on my 20's and all the people I met. People I worked with, people I went swimming and built damns with (ugh...leeches) people I watched movies with. Sht people I could have been great friends with. But looking back, of course there were my usual long bouts of isolation, but my only focus was on my girlfriends or women I was on some level involved with. Those end, at least for me, I mean it's not even just those kinds of relationships, I just focus on one person if anyone and everyone else is just sort of there. It's like I can sanely have just one friend in my life at any one point. I remember this being pointed out a very long time ago, I don't make friend's with a group, I make friend's with one person in it.